Parshas Pinchas: Time Travel Teshuva

We are currently traveling in the US and Canada to see our families.  It feels good to be back on the road again. It is a taste of the nomadic lifestyle we so love.  But there is one kind of travel you can do without ever leaving home: time travel.

No, we have not built a time machine! (Although sometimes having such a thing really would come in handy.)  Time in the physical world marches steadily forward and cannot be stopped.

But time in the spiritual realm is a different thing altogether.  G-d exists outside of time.  It is difficult for us to imagine, but for G-d there is no past, present, or future.  They are all the same thing.  That is how it is possible for G-d to know the “future” and yet we still have free will – for G-d knowing the future is the same as knowing the present or the past.  This means that in the spiritual realm time does not exist in the same way it exists in the physical world.  So even though time travel is impossible in the physical world, it is possible in the spiritual world!

We learn this from this week’s parsha.  In it there is a strange verse that says that Korach’s children didn’t die with everyone else.  And yet we read previously that Korach’s whole family was swallowed up by the earth.  What happened? What does it mean?  The Midrash teaches that Korach’s sons got to the entrance of Gehenom and wanted to sing praises to G-d but were unable to. When they found they could not sing, they started to think that maybe they had made a mistake in following their father.  Rashi explains that these thoughts of teshuva (repentance, return) were powerful enough that a niche opened up at the entrance of Gehenom and saved them.  At the very last possible moment Korach’s children felt true regret for what they had done and G-d accepted their teshuva.

You see, the Gemara teaches that teshuva is a powerful way of undergoing spiritual time travel.  Doing teshuva for something has the power to either erase it (so that in the spiritual world it never happened) or even to turn it into a mitzvah!

Amazingly this means that it is not too late to do teshuva.  It is easy to look at our lives and think of all the things we have done with despair.  Why start to keep kosher when we have a lifetime of shrimp and pork as black marks against us? Why start to keep Shabbat when we have such a long history of breaking it?  How can we ever overcome all the things we have done wrong? The answer is that teshuva can either erase or even reverse all of these things! Imagine, spiritually all that non-kosher food could become totally kosher!

But don’t wait to start doing teshuva.  Some people think that if they can get “credit” for doing mitzvot simply by doing teshuva, they might as well continue doing the wrong thing now and do teshuva later, after they have had their fun.  Unfortunately, we never know when our opportunity to do teshuva might expire.  For we can only do teshuva while we are living and once our time is up, our opportunity to do teshuva will be no more.  Korach’s children managed it at the very last second, but the others in their group did not.

Carpe diem! Seize the day! Seize your opportunity and do teshuva right away!

Enjoy your spiritual time travels!

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Pinchas: Coincidence or Miracle?

Read more on Parshas Pinchas: Love for the Land of Israel

Read more on Parshas Pinchas: Judaism as a Leader in Woman’s Rights

Parshas Balak: The Beauty and Modesty of the Jewish Home

I hear it is said that most people do not get along with their in-laws.  I should consider myself very blessed, then, that I absolutely love my in-laws.  They are crazy and I love it.

The laws of yichud dictate when a man and a woman can be alone in a room.  Two men can be alone with one woman or three women with one man.  But the Talmud brings down something extremely interesting: two women can be alone with one man if those two women are sister-in-law.  The Talmud teaches that sisters-in-law are natural enemies.  I guess they haven’t met my sister-in-laws then!  Because mine are awesome.

So it is that we are currently traveling to Canada to meet Rabbi Ben’s family for the wedding of his younger sister Devora.  It is fitting, then, that this week’s parsha is full of curses-turned-blessings.  Just as my relationship with my sister-in-law is “naturally” a bad one, but instead is wonderful, so too, are Bilaam’s words turned backwards from natural curses to easy blessings.

And of course, one of the most famous lines in the Torah comes from his mouth. “How beautiful are your tents, Oh Jacob, your dwelling places, Oh Israel.”  We learn that this is because the Jewish tents were turned so the entrances faced away from each other.  The Jewish people are modest: we don’t go peeping into other peoples’ homes.

So, too, my sister-in-law Devora now will be forming her own Jewish home.  We learn that Jewish women are renowned for their modesty – indeed, that modesty sets the Jewish woman apart.  We are surrounded by the secular world, which venerates the exact opposite.  So Devora will now have the chance to build a beautiful, special, and precious new Jewish home, using this unique Jewish quality of tzniut.

At this time of her wedding, we give her a blessing that she should indeed have a home filled with spiritual beauty, modesty, and Jewish values.

Mazal tov!

Read more on Parshas Balak: Instead of Putting Others Down, Build Yourself Up!

Read more on Parshas Balak: Listening to Hashem’s Messages

Read more on Parshas Balak: Here’s to Bilam (Who’s Really Not Such a Bad Guy)

Parshas Chukas: The Fine Art of Persuasion

I once heard something that struck me as very wise: We all manipulate others; the only thing that changes is the method we use.  When we shout at someone in anger, we are trying to force them to yield to our will.  When we smile at or thank someone who does us a favor we are trying to encourage them to do more favors in the future.  When we ignore a certain person’s phone calls we are teaching them not to call anymore.  Our every little interaction with other people is a form of persuasion, whether we do it consciously or not.  As creatures of action and reaction, there is nothing we can do to stop it – even changing our behavior will change others’ reactions to us.

Thus it follows that persuasion is an art that is all-important in each and every one of our lives.  We all know someone who always seems to get their way with no effort.  And we all know someone who never gets what they want no matter how hard they try.  Some people are masters of persuasion, subtle and powerful, while others just seem to stumble and fall over their attempts to persuade.  Yet, persuasion is a skill that can be taught and honed.

The Torah demonstrates over and over again the different masters and methods of persuasion.  From Moshe (Moses) challenging Korach to a “competition” of offerings in last week’s parsha as a way to win over the Jews’ loyalty to Aaron’s feeble attempts to prevent the Jewish people from building the golden calf, persuasion (successful or not) is as ubiquitous in the Torah as it is in our everyday lives.

This week’s parsha teaches us an important lesson about persuasion.  Moshe is told by G-d to speak to the rock to get water to come from it, but instead he strikes it.  Yes, water comes from the rock when Moshe hits it, but the consequences are very serious: Moshe is forbidden from entering the land of Israel.

In our lives, we can use different methods to get what we want.  Like Moshe with the rock, we can beat and bully others into submission.  Or we can do what G-d commanded: speak and be subtle.  The Torah is coming to tell us this message: Persuade softly.

Yes, there is a time and a place for force.  Pharaoh refusing to free the slaves is subject to gruesome plagues.  Pinchas must slay Prince Zimri for his sexual offenses in order to cure the plague afflicting the Jews.  If there is a rockslide threatening, we may need to blow up the stones to save peoples’ lives.

But when the circumstances are not so dire, we must speak softly and persuade gently.  First Reuven and then Yehuda use words to persuade their brothers from killing Yosef (as his death was not yet imminent, it was not necessary to intervene with force).  Moshe must speak to the rock to get water, not hit it. If we want to grow vegetables, we must coax them from the land with time and care.

This week, try to develop a better awareness of the methods of persuasion you use most.  Are they too forceful for the situation or not forceful enough?  Perhaps we each, like Moshe, need to learn to speak to the rock rather than hitting it.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Chukas: Explaining the Unexplainable

Read more on Parshas Chukas: We All Get Angry Sometimes

Read more on Parshas Chukas: Learning a New Type of Logic

Parshas Korach: Materialism?

Modern society places a strong emphasis on material goods.  We judge one another all too often by the car we drive, the house we live in, or the clothes we wear.  Some people cannot afford food, yet wear a Prada purse.

Many religions in the world repudiate materialism.  Many religions are ascetic in nature and exalt those individuals who can give up the most materialism.  Perhaps this is why Korach’s possessions are swallowed up when he sins? Perhaps Korach was too much of a materialist.

This cannot be the full explanation, however, because Judaism is not a religion that tells us to give up our material pleasures.  Instead, we are meant to uplift them and raise that which is “base” and physical to a higher, spiritual level.

The answer to the question lies in what Korach and his followers choose to offer up to G-d: incense.  Incense is an offering that is purely spiritual.  Unlike meat or other food offerings, where ultimately much of the offering is eaten, incense leaves nothing behind.  Korach and his followers were upset because they wanted to be priests so that, like the incense, they could live an almost completely spiritual life and be close to G-d at all times.  Yet, G-d rejected their offering. And then swallowed up Korach’s possessions.  It seems like a contradiction: I don’t want the spiritual and I don’t want the physical, either!

In part perhaps G-d was highlighting Korach’s hypocrisy.  He wanted to live in the spiritual world but he just couldn’t let go of the physical.

But much more than that, it seems likely that G-d was just trying to teach a lesson about the nature of materialism.  Material goods must be used in the right way.  They are neither to be adulated nor eliminated, but rather elevated.  By making an incense offering, Korach was advocating the elimination of the physical goods he was privately adulating, when in reality he should have been elevating those selfsame physical goods to a higher spiritual level.

This is what we, too, can do in our own lives.  We can elevate our physical possessions by using them in the right way.  Use candles for lighting on Friday nights. Use tables for Shabbat dinners.  Use spare beds for hosting guests.  Use cars for visiting the sick or elderly.  Every physical possession we have can be elevated in some way.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more about Parshas Korach: Being a Leader is Hard

Read more about Parshas Korach: The Wife in Judasim

Read more about Parshas Korach: The Battle Between Ego & Self-Esteem

Parshas Naso: Purifying Our Thoughts

We understand why some groups of ultra-orthodox Jews segregate themselves from the rest of the world.  The modern world is full of non-Jewish influences.  You turn on the radio and hear immodest music.  You turn on the television and see people dressed immodestly.  You walk in the street and you smell non-kosher food.

Most of us think we are strong enough to resist temptation. “I can quit smoking any time I want,” says the smoker.  And yet, those who really have quit smoking know it is not that easy.   But how did he start smoking in the first place?  He was probably surrounded by friends who smoked.  He started just by trying a bit, then a bit more, and eventually he was addicted.  And more than simple addiction – smoking became part of his world, his routine, his social scene.

It is the same with non-Jewish influences.  If we surround ourselves with people who we regularly see eating bacon, it is hard to resist the temptation to try it.  And this applies with things that go far beyond the laws of kashrut or modesty.  It includes our entire values system.  And it starts in our minds.

This is the meaning of the sotah, the wayward woman, in this week’s parsha.  In the Temple times, a woman who had been warned not to be alone with a certain man was seen secluding herself with him and was accused of adultery.  She proved her innocence – or her guilt was revealed – when she drank a potion of water and the dissolved ink from a parchment with this passage of the Torah on it.  Today, we do not follow this literally, but we can gain from its meaning.

The sotah is like our mind.  Rabbi Nachman of Breslov teaches that, like a married woman who should not be alone with a man other than her husband, our minds should not be alone with non-Jewish thoughts.  In Judaism, there are three levels of mitzvah and aveira: thought, speech, and action.  By secluding ourselves with our thoughts, we think we are safe and will not be found out.  But the influences will eventually come out in our speech and our actions.

This week, as we prepare ourselves to relive the giving of the Torah, is a perfect time to work on purifying our thoughts.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Naso: Purifying Our Thoughts

Read more on Parshas Naso: Making Peace – with EVERYONE

Read more on Parshas Naso: Learning to be a Leader

Parshas Achrei Mot: Improving Every Day

 We are in the home stretch now of our Passover preparations.  The house is nearly ready and we are working on switching our kitchen over even as we write this.  If you need somewhere to go for a meal over Pesach, whether for a seder or for a daytime meal during the Yom Tov, please call the Shul office.

In this week’s parsha, we read about how the kohen gadol (high priest) has to immerse himself in a mikveh when he changes into his special white garments for Yom Kippur and again when he changes back into his regular priestly clothing.  But there is something unusual about this: We usually only immerse in the mikveh when we are ascending to a higher spiritual level.  It makes sense for the kohen gadol to immerse before putting on his special Yom Kippur clothes.  On the other hand, it seems odd for him to immerse in a mikvah when he is putting on his regular clothes.  It seems like he is going down a spiritual level, not going up!

From this we learn that we must always work to improve ourselves.  The reason the kohen gadol immerses before putting on his normal workaday clothing is that he will now be doing an even better job than he did before.  His priestly service on Yom Kippur raised him to such a high spiritual level that he is now going to be on an even higher spiritual plane even for his normal daily activities.

So, too, we learn that we can always grow and improve.  We must always be working to climb to a higher spiritual level, to keep a bit more of the Torah than we did in the past.

Pesach is the perfect time to implement this.  We can always keep it a little more strictly, a little bit better than we did last year.  If last year you did not eat bread during Pesach but you still had pasta or crackers, try this year to eat nothing leavened.  If last year you had nothing leavened on Pesach, try this year to eat all your foods certified kosher for Passover only.  If last year you attended or hosted one seder, this year attend two.  There is always some room for improvement.  One easy first step is to attend this week’s shiur on the Hagaddah!

We wish you all a Shabbat shalom and a happy and kosher Pesach!

Read more on Parshas Achrei Mot-Kedoshim & Yom Haatzmaut: Celebrating Israel