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Parshas Terumah: It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Parshas Terumah: It’s Okay to Ask for Help

In Western society today, being tough and independent are qualities that are praised.  We expect men to be macho and strong and not to cry.  We even hear songs saying things like, “big girls don’t cry.”

It is hard to allow oneself to become vulnerable.  By letting down our guard, we open ourselves up to attack and criticism in the places where we are weakest.  Sadly, in modern society, there is a good chance that we may just be attacked if we do so.

But this is not the way of Judaism.  Judaism is a religion of compassion and love, as we learn from our forefather Abraham.  In Judaism, we should be able to open ourselves up and meet with comfort from others, not criticism.

Take for instance the emotion of grief.  Grief as an emotion is inherently vulnerable because we are already suffering a loss.  Yet, modern society seems to dictate that we have to be strong.  We are told to “accept it,” to “move on,” and, if we cry at all, we are expected to quickly wipe our tears away.  Most jobs today do not give time off to deal with grief – they expect you back at work as scheduled.  Judaism, on the other hand, embraces grief and its natural progressions.  Familial losses require one to sit shiva for a whole week, then to follow certain mourning rituals for the first 30 days and first year following the loss.

That is because in Judaism, vulnerability does NOT equal weakness.  If anything, vulnerability is yet another gift from Hashem.  Just as there are poor people in the world to give us the opportunity to help them through giving charity, so too each and every one of us has vulnerable moments to allow all the others to give them strength and love, caring and compassion.

Sadly, even asking for help these days is seen as a weakness!  (According to the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” men have an especially hard time with this, but it seems to us that it more likely stems from societal norms.)  Asking for help means you aren’t independent enough to do it on your own. And in modern society this is seen as a fault.

But even Moses had to ask for help sometimes, and he was certainly not a weak man.  Take for instance, the building of the menorah in this week’s parsha.  We see that Moses learned on Mount Sinai how to construct the menorah.  But when Hashem explained its construction to him, Moses didn’t understand. So he asked for more explanation.  G-d then showed him a vision (made of fire) of what the golden menorah should look like.  Still, when it came time to construct it, Moses still didn’t understand! So, as the Midrash says, Moses threw the gold into the fire and G-d himself constructed the menorah.  Moses was not afraid to ask for help.

So too us as Jews.  We must always be able to ask for help from our fellows.  It is not a sign of diminishment or weakness – it is actually a sign of humility and strength.  And, as Jews, if others open up to us and ask us for help, it is our job to give help, compassion, and love.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Terumah: Doing Things the Hard Way, Procrastinating, and Overcoming Laziness

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The Similarities Between the Chinese and the Jewish New Year

Chinese New Year in Thailand The Jewish people are not the only ones to have a unique date for New Year. There are countless different New Years held by various religious, ethnic, and tribal groups around the world.

This Friday will begin the Chinese New Year. Now to the Chinese, it is called either the Lunar New Year or the Spring Festival. The first thing in Common it has with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is that it follows the Lunar cycle. Friday is in fact a new Lunar month, but in the Jewish Calendar it is the sixth month of the year. However it is interesting to note that there is a debate in the Talmud as to when the world was created and when in fact is the New year. There is the opinion that it was in the month of Nissan which is when Passover falls out, and there is the opinion that it was Tishrei, which is the way we follow.

 

So differences in opinion as to when the New Year should be is understandable even from the Jewish perspective, and it does not come as a surprise that there are many ideas around this.

 

One thing I like about the Chinese New Year is that it is celebrated anywhere from six to sixteen days. And unlike the Gregorian Calendar, January first, The Chinese New Year does not start with a party. It begins with going to temples to pray and give thanks, and spending time with the family. I believe this is a good thing and how a

New year should begin. Afterword’s comes the party and celebrations.

 

In Judaism we have the same. We start with Rosh Hashana, two days of prayer and time with the family. Ten days later is Yom Kippur, the day of Atonement were we are judged by G-d on our actions during the past year. And then finally comes Succoth, the festival of booths, where we celebrate non-stop for a week.

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Parshas Mishpatim: Treating EVERYONE Well

Parshas Mishpatim: Treating Everyone Well

Most of us have heard of the “Stockholm Syndrome.”  This is when captors or prisoners begin to identify with their assailants, even to the point of rejecting their freedom or defending their abusers.  It is Stockholm Syndrome that keeps people in abusive relationships, so it is not as uncommon as it might seem.

In this week’s parsha, we read about what is to be done to a Jewish slave if he/she refuses to go free.  This seems irrational.  Why would someone not want to go free when offered their freedom?

At first one might think this is yet another example of the Stockholm Syndrome.  These slaves have, as a coping mechanism, begun to identify with their masters in such a way that they no longer value freedom.

Yet, this is not the reason for this behavior in the Torah.  Torah laws mandate that slaves must be treated well.  In some parts of the world, slaves are locked in small rooms and made to sleep on hard floors. (Sadly, slavery does still exist.)  They are beaten and are not allowed to communicate with their families.  Not so in Judaism!  Yes, slavery is allowed, but it is not the barbaric kind of slavery of which we hear so many tales.  Jewish law has no jails, so sometimes slavery was an appropriate way for a person to right the wrongs they have done.

In Judaism, even slaves must be treated with dignity and respect.  They are not beaten or abused.  They are given a comfortable place to sleep and good food to eat. Indeed, if a master has only one pillow, he must give it to his slave!

The lives of Jewish slaves, although made to work, was undoubtedly much, much better than being placed in the penal systems of today.  Today, prisoners in jails are only allotted a few hours of outdoor recreational time (if they are lucky!).  Prisoners who are on good behavior are allowed to work as a reward.  Being locked in a cell all day with nothing to do may sound restful and relaxing for a few days, but soon both mind and body begin to itch for something more to do.  Prisoners today come out of jail with a stigma that makes it hard for them to find work, even if they have attended educational services while incarcerated.

Jewish slaves, on the other hand, would have had no stigma once freed.  They could move to another city and nobody would be checking their criminal record.  They could start a new life.  And what’s more – they spent their time as a slave doing things.  They felt needed.  They might even have learned some new skills!  So slaves, once freed, were able to be even more valuable members of society than they were when they first entered slavery.

Being a Jewish slave would have been a relatively comfortable life.  Sure, the work was hard and long, but then again, many professions require long hours of hard work.  Slaves would not have needed to worry about where their next meal was coming from or how to pay the mortgage.  And they would have been treated nicely, with dignity and respect from their masters.  Once out in the wide world, there are no guarantees.  They might not have a job, they might live in poverty, they might have to beg.  For some, life as a slave was definitely preferable.

And if we as Jews have to treat our slaves so well, then how much more so does this show us we must treat all human beings with dignity and respect, compassion and care.  No matter what another person’s life history, background, or position in society, we must always show them this kind of respect and love.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Mishpatim: Welcoming the Strangers

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Our Tu B’Shevat Seder in Adelaide and Trying Many New Fruits

Interesting Fruits from Around the World

Wow what a Tu B’shvat we had. A nice group of people from the community and more fruit than I can ever recall having. Thank you all who came and participated in our Tu B’Sehvat Seder.

Seven species: (barley not included)

  1. Wheat: Cupcakes
  2. Grapes x 3 types
  3. Dates
  4. Figs
  5. PomegranateEating exotic fruit on Tu' B'Shevat the Jewish New Year for Trees
  6. Olives

Nuts

  1. Walnuts
  2. Cashews
  3. Brazil nuts
  4. Pine nuts
  5. Almonds
  6. Pistachio
  7. Hazel nuts
  8. Macadamia

Dried fruit

  1. Inca berries
  2. Prunes
  3. Apricots
  4. Cranberries
  5. coconut
  6. Carob powder

Fresh Fruit:Nuts and Cupcakes on the Jewish New Year for Trees

  1. Blue berries
  2. Raspberries
  3. Pear
  4. Lychee
  5. Apple x 4 types
  6. Mango
  7. Cherries
  8. Passion fruit
  9. Peach
  10. Plum
  11. Nectarine
  12. Kiwi
  13. Orange
  14. Grapefruit

+ 3 more types of apples and two more types of grapes = 39 things to try.

 

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Parshas Yisro: Valuing Our Convertss

Parshas Yisro: Valuing Our Converts

Our community in Adelaide, as with many small communities we know, is composed of a mix of Jews from a variety of backgrounds.  A handful grew up in observant homes, some grew up secular and later returned to Judaism, and quite a few converted.

Those people who converted often become an integral part of our community.  They are unique in that, like the Jews who left Egypt, they truly have the chance to accept upon themselves the obligations of Torah.  Spiritually, they stand at Sinai and say “na’ase v’nishma” – “we will do and we will understand.”  Anyone who is born Jewish is born with the weight of Torah obligations upon their shoulders, but a convert chooses to take them on for himself.  And often we see that these converts and their “love match” with Judaism really shines through, as they make a huge difference in the world around them by taking on the obligations of Torah and Judaism.

We are fortunate in that our community, although small, is very close and loving.  The Jews here do not judge or look down upon others for their levels of observance.  Especially we have noticed that nobody is judged for their background, convert or not.  Sadly, this is not so in every community, where sometimes converts are judged poorly, perhaps because they are different.  Yet, choosing to convert is a massive undertaking, a radical life change, and so converts should be admired for their taking on this commitment.

The importance of respecting converts and of recognizing their contributions stands out in this week’s parsha.  Yisro (Jethro), Moshe’s (Moses’s) father-in-law, has an entire parsha named after him.  Not only did he convert (Rashi), but he also went home and converted his entire family (Ramban), so great was his passion and love for Torah, so convinced was he of its truth.

Yisro’s contributions to the Jewish people were massive.  He proposed the essence of the judicial system Moshe employed, thus enabling Moshe to most appropriately direct his energies, and reducing the strife amongst individual Jews.  Perhaps because he was a convert, Yisro came to the Jewish people with a fresh new outlook.  He was able to apply his past experiences to his present state and use these as tools to help him improve the world around him.

Jewish history is riddled with stories of converts who have attained the highest of spiritual heights.  From Ruth (who was grandmother to King David and ultimately to Moshiach) to Onkeles (whose commentaries even today grace our Chumashim), we owe a debt of gratitude to the converts who have chosen to follow the path of Judaism. Let’s continue our Adelaide tradition of not only accepting, but embracing them!

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Yisro: Blessing G-d for Miracles
Read more on Parshas Yisro: Keeping the Sabbath – Even While Traveling

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