I never knew music could be so controversial.

Sure, I know that some music can be pretty controversial – the language and content of some of what’s out there is truly revolting – but that all music could be controversial? What’s wrong with listening to a little Beethovan? Or what about listening to Avraham Fried? Surely these things couldn’t be bad?

Well, during the 9 days leading up to Tisha B’Av, the Jewish national day of mourning, and for some people during the three weeks leading up to it, we’re not supposed to listen to music. What constitutes “music” is a pretty hot debate, it seems. Some people don’t listen to any music, some will only listen to a capella, and some will listen to anything as long as it’s not live. Some avoid it for 3 weeks, some for 9 days, and some only from the Sunday before Tisha B’Av on. There are so many minhagim out there!

And apparently the mere thought that we shouldn’t listen to music is really offensive to some people. A basic search on Google reveals dozens of people ranting, complaining, or just plain kvetching about the restriction against listening to music. Most people seem to be searching for excuses and reasons why this minhag just shouldn’t apply to them. What is going on?

My take on it is that it’s not the listening to music itself that is inherently forbidden during this time, it is the attitude of mourning we’re trying to achieve. The 3 weeks, the 9 days, and Tisha B’Av are like a stepladder of mourning, ramping it up as we proceed through the days until we reach the ultimate mourning frame of mind. But it seems like many of us have a special craving for music that we can’t control (and for some people their appetite for meat during the 9 days is just as strong). The rabbis probably knew and understood this and that’s why they instituted these restrictions. They knew it would be difficult for us to get into a frame of mind of mourning the destruction of the Temple because we don’t even know what we’re missing. The best they could do would be to institute some restrictions on our pleasures (music, eating, bathing) so that we could start to get a bit uncomfortable. The truth is, we should be uncomfortable every moment of every day just because we (yes, even those of us living in the land of Israel) don’t have the Temple anymore.

So, like it or not, we should probably all try to give up music. Not necessarily because the rabbis say to do it, but even more because we don’t want to do it. Because if we get into the feeling of discomfort and mourning, maybe we will work harder to improve our relations with our fellow Jews and maybe, just maybe, we’ll merit to bring Moshiach.

Every year during the three weeks leading up to Tisha B’Av, we enter a period of mourning.  We start with a few restrictions during the 3 weeks, adding more during the 9 days, and finally entering full mourning on Tisha B’Av itself.

One of these restrictions is that we are not permitted to listen to music.  Although there are different opinions as to what is music, or when we are allowed/not allowed to listen to it, most rabbis seem to agree that it is ok to listen to vocal music (“a capella”) during the 9 days leading up to Tisha B’Av.  This restriction on music is to help us get into the spirit of mourning – it is often difficult to mourn when we hear music.  Most music is joyous (in fact, this is a crucial aspect of the meaning of “shira,” the Hebrew word for music), so we cannot listen to it.  However, vocal music is permitted by most rabbis.

Rabbi Ben and I are friends with a well-known Jewish musician named Ari Goldwag.  He has produced a song and a video to help us get into the spirit of the 9 days.  The reason the Holy Temple was destroyed was because of sinas chinam, or baseless hatred.  If we are really mourning it, if we really want it back, we have to earn it by doing the exact opposite.  We must show baseless love to our fellow Jew! One way to do this is to give charity.  In this way we realize that we are no better or more important than someone who is poor.  In fact, we are all poor now because we do not have the Holy Temple any longer.

Please take a moment and watch the video at the link below and think about doing some acts of kindness for others during these 9 days leading up to Tisha B’Av!

Watch Ari Goldwag’s song and video for the 9 Days HERE!

This Shabbos Rabbi Ben performed as chazzan at The Shul of Bal Harbor, a major synagogue, one of the biggest in South Florida.  He sang kabbalat Shabbat and maariv Friday night and on Saturday he sang shacharit and mussafe.  Plus, it was Shabbos Rosh Chodesh, so he sang hallel and welcomed in the new month.

Friday night we ate dinner with a really wonderful elderly couple and their two elderly friends.  Their fifth floor apartment had a perfect view straight out onto the ocean.  It was fascinating to listen to their many stories about their youth and travels in a time and world so different from ours.  Like Rabbi Ben and I (who met while traveling in Peru), one woman at the table had met her husband while traveling in Europe!  Another man told of his participation in World War Two and Normandy, and told us about the weekend trips to Cuba he used to take when he was younger and Castro was not yet in power.

To our surprise, there was also a simcha at The Shul on Shabbos! There was a bar mitzvah and we were very happy to take part in the boy’s coming of age ceremony and celebration.  The family of the boy were delighted to have a trained chazzan present and Rabbi Ben’s singing made the experience even more special for them.

The bar mitzvah was followed on Saturday afternoon by a gigantic Kiddish.  There were about 5 or 6 large areas of tables set up around the walls of the social hall, and in an air conditioned tent set up outside.  One table held fish dishes of every description, another meat and cholent, a third of desserts, and the rest were full of salads.  It was a beautiful celebration of Shabbos and a really fantastic was to celebrate the simcha!

Singing Yiddish songs for seniors in Florida accompanied by a 99-year-old violin player

Last week I had so much fun singing and telling jokes for a group of seniors in a home near Fort Lauderdale, Florida. They have a Yiddish group that meets once a week and I offered to do a one hour show. They were fantastic, filled with good humor and spirit. The gentleman who played the violin along with my singing is 99 years old and sharp as anything. I sang mostly Yiddish songs which are classics, as well as a song in Russian and a song in Italian. This was for the few Italian and Russian speakers in the audience.

Entertaining old people runs in my family. My father, also a rabbi, goes every Friday afternoon to a seniors’ home to play his trumpet. It’s a win-win situation. He’s happy to play his trumpet, the family is happy that he is not playing the trumpet in the house, and the old people love to hear him play.

The faculty of music seems to be the last thing that disappears from a person’s mind. A person with Alzheimer’s and dementia may not remember much or recognize something but will join in to sing a song of their youth.

Please G-d I hope to have more opportunities to sing for older people and make them smile.

Reb Shlomo Carlebach has for a long time inspired me with his music and teachings. I find it beautiful to sit around and sing his songs with fellow travelers. Many of the tunes sung in traditional Jewish orthodox synagogues were composed by Reb Shlomo. If you are not familiar with his music or teachings I urge you to find some of his music and stories and be inspired.

 ”Shlomo Carlebach (Hebrew: שלמה קרליבך‎), known as Reb Shlomo to his followers, (14 January 1925, Berlin — 20 October 1994, Canada) was a Jewish rabbi, religious teacher, composer, and singer who was known as “The Singing Rabbi” during his lifetime. Although his roots lay in traditional Orthodox yeshivot, he branched out to create his own style combining Hasidic Judaism, warmth and personal interaction, public concerts, and song-filled synagogue services. At various times he lived in Manhattan, San Francisco, Toronto and Moshav Mevo Modi’im, Israel.

Carlebach is considered by many to be the foremost Jewish religious songwriter of the 20th century. In a career that spanned 40 years, he recorded more than 25 albums that continue to have widespread popularity and appeal. His influence also continues to this day in “Carlebach minyanim” and Jewish religious gatherings in many cities around the globe.

Carlebach was also considered a pioneer of the Baal teshuva movement (“returnees to Judaism”), encouraging disenchanted Jewish youth to re-embrace their heritage, using his special brand of music, songs, and inspiring story telling”.   (From Wikipedia)