City to Surf (City2Surf) in Sydney, Australia

Akiva and I at Bondi Beach, the finish line for the famous City to Surf (City2Surf) race, where the wind made the surf very strong indeed!

Today was the big City to Surf (City2Surf) race in Sydney, Australia.  City to Surf (City2Surf) is an annual and quite famous race from downtown Sydney to Bondi Beach. It is the biggest road race in Australia and there are tens of thousands of participants every year. Racers fly in from all over the world to participate!  If Rabbi Ben wasn’t busy traveling, I’m sure he would have done it! (I would have made him take Akiva, too!)

Adventuring Akiva and I just did Bondi Beach to Surf, which was about a 5 minute walk down to the beach.  But it was fun to see the crowds and watch the racers cross the finish line, with all the cameras flashing.  There was a lot of food cooking and music blaring.  At the end of the City to Surf (City2Surf) race was a finish line with giant digital clocks on top showing how long it had taken the runners (and walkers) to arrive.  The slowest took over 5 hours… I don’t know how long it took the fastest runners because Akiva didn’t wake up early enough to catch them (lucky me!).  After the festivities were over and the runners had all arrived, the buses to Bondi Junction started and there were three very long lines for the buses snaking all the way back down the hill to the beach!

City to Surf (City2Surf) was an appropriate name for the event today because the wind was so strong that the ocean was raging… there was plenty of surf!  They were probably the biggest waves I’ve seen since I arrived here.  Akiva enjoyed looking around at the ocean and at all the people… until his nap time, when he fell asleep.

There were a lot of Jewish runners in the event this year, as there always are.  On their way up Old South Head Road, they passed the JEMs (Jewish Education Matters) table.  JEMs volunteers gave out 4000 cups of water, 2000 biscuits, and even helped 12 men put on tefillin!  It is amazing to see how they turned the City to Surf (City2Surf) race into an opportunity to do mitzvot.

City to Surf (City2Surf) has thousands of participants. The roads around Bondi Beach were closed off. After the race, thousands of people lined up to get on buses back up to Bondi Junction. In the distance, you can see some of the lines of people waiting to get on a bus.

Another new addition to the City to Surf (City2Surf) race this year is a new kosher cafe – Glicks on Hall.  For a long time, Glicks has been a stalwart of Jewish kashrut in Sydney.  It is an established bakery that people know and trust.  For a long time there was also a kosher shop called Starks, but a few months ago it closed. Glicks took over the space and turned it into a cafe.  They serve hot soup, sandwiches, bagels, salads, pasta, and more, in addition to fresh breads, pastries, and coffees.  The new Glicks location is on Hall Street, which leads up from Bondi Beach toward Old South Head Road. So when the Jewish participants in the City to Surf (City2Surf) race were finished, they could refresh themselves with a hot drink or some delicious food.  In a smart business move, Glicks does not advertise itself as kosher with big glaring signs, but instead acts as a neighborhood cafe, drawing in all sorts of clientele.  Today, many City to Surf (City2Surf) racers visited Glicks and discovered that it is true that Jews really do make the best bagels! In Glicks I saw everyone from the most frum (religiously observant) of Jews to black people to Indians and Asians.  But I think it was especially nice that the Jews who ran in City to Surf (City2Surf) had somewhere kosher to go after the race, while other people were eating the non-kosher food down at the beach.

I think everyone, Jewish and non-Jewish alike, had a great time in the City to Surf (City2Surf) race today! I know that even though Akiva and I did not run the whole distance, we also had a fun time down at the finish line! And we even visited Glicks for a kosher hot chocolate after the race festivities were over. It was a great day for everyone!

How a Jewish Woman can Cover her Hair While Traveling

A few days ago I posted about a shiur I attended in Sydney on why married Jewish women cover their hair and addressing some halachic issues. Now I’d like to address some travel-related questions.

How should I cover my hair while traveling?

While white water rafting, I prefer to wear a scarf because it fits easily under a helmet and doesn't come off easily, even when I remove the helmet!

Putting aside all debates about what is preferable, wigs versus scarves, etc, the best way to cover your hair while traveling long term is generally with a scarf.  This is purely for practicality’s sake.  There are quite a few challenges to traveling with a wig.  First is the cost.  Most wigs are expensive.  Even a “cheap” wig is going to cost say $60-100.  If it is ruined, it is not only a greater financial loss, but you also won’t find it easy to replace in many places.  And if you are really traveling, it really will run the risk of being ruined.  How will it fare in your backpack? How will it do if you’re sleeping with it on while on a train or camping in the desert sand? And what will become of it when you’re wearing your helmet while white water rafting?  Bear in mind that a lot of the best travel experiences require you to cover your hair in strange circumstances, like sleeping or doing something very active.   This is also why a hat is impractical, as it can easily fall or fly off and be lost.  On the other hand, if you do wear a wig it will help you keep your hair covered in cultures where keeping your head covered in a building is seen as disrespectful (as in some native communities in Fiji, for example). But for me, this is not persuasive enough to be so at risk and so inconvenienced. (When I was staying with a native family in Fiji I just explained why I cover my hair and they were very respectful.)  Of course, you could wear a snood or similar and achieve the same effect as a scarf, but they will be hard to replace if they are lost or worn out.  But I have never traveled anywhere in the world where it was impossible to buy a scarf.  Scarves are universally available.  Plus, they are very lightweight so you can always carry a backup or two without adding much weight to your load.  You can also use them to keep warm in cool weather, so they are multipurpose!

Will it be a problem to wear a scarf on my head in other places?

A Buddhist Nepali woman with her hair covered by a sort of cap - she definitely did not think it strange to see my hair covered!

The truth is that covering hair is common in almost every culture in the world.  It is only in Western society that it has fallen out of fashion, and even then, it is relatively recent!  Even in Europe, women used to cover their hair.  From natives in South America to Africa to Hindus to Muslims the world over, women cover their hair.  True, some wear hats, some wear hijabs, and some just toss a scarf loosely over them, but how is not so important.  What matters is that the concept of hair covering is only unusual in Western societies and in other parts of the world, it is a common practice, even if most women today choose not to follow it.  What this means is that people understand the concept of covering hair and will respect it.

Is there a way to cover my hair so that I won’t stand out so much?

Let’s be frank – in most places in the world, you are going to stand out.  What, you’re a white person in a tiny village in Africa and you’re not going to stand out?  You’re going to stand out in Africa, in Asia, in any of the Pacific islands, and even in most of Central and South America, just because you’re white.  If you’re dark, you’ll still stand out everywhere but Africa, plus places like Russia.  No matter what you look like, you’re going to stand out in most exotic places you’re traveling in.  So if you’re wearing a scarf it’s not likely to affect you at all.  In some places I have visited, the locals have never met a white person before, so they just assume it’s part of my culture – and it is.

Native Hindu women from a small village in India all wear their scarves

That said, there are many ways to tie scarves so that it just looks trendy and fashionable.  I often tie my scarves up on top of my head (I have a lot of hair under there) and people think I’ve got dreadlocks! They just think I’m even more of a hippie than I really am. It’s kind of funny.  But the point is that often when I travel people just think I’m covering my hair for fashion.  If I want to project that image, I can.

So go forth and travel and don’t let covering your hair be a concern.  You can travel anywhere and for as long as you want with your hair covered and the worst effect it will have might be when you pass through airport security – although even then the vast majority of the time they never even look at me funny!

Enjoy!

Parshas Eikev: Honoring Akiva – The Power of the Heel

I can’t help but want to dedicate this week’s parsha post to my son, Akiva.  Just try saying the names together… Eikev… Akiva.  Notice the similarity? It’s no coincidence: they’re from the same root word.  Add a yud in front and you even have the name Yaakov.  And what do they mean? All three relate to the heel, as in the heel of the foot.

In Judaism we believe that the name of a person is powerful.  Just saying it gives life to the soul.  So it is kind of understandable that when I told my mother that her first grandchild’s name means “heel” she asked if there isn’t some other meaning?  Calling someone “heel” sounds kind of disappointing.

But if the heel is an important component of the name of Yaakov (Jacob) then it’s bound to have some deep, positive significance. And it does, on several levels.

Akiva, being the heel, means to draw G-d down even to the most base parts of life.  Even to the heel, which is low down and stands on the ground, we must draw down Hashem.  Similarly, the mitzvot reiterated in this week’s parsha involve drawing Hashem down, into even the simplest and most detailed parts of our lives.  We start out the parsha with a list of blessings and curses.  They seem materialistic but only because we have to remember to involve G-d in our material lives as well.  We can’t live without food, shelter, and clothing, so they are also important – and we have to bring G-d into them, too. And the reminisces of Moshe in the parsha – recalling the sins of the Jewish people – are examples of times when the Jews forgot to bring G-d down into their heels and they ran instead after calves of gold and cried over erroneous stories from spies.

Kabbalistically, the heel is also a part of the body that is not subject to impulses and sudden flights of fancy.  It’s not like the eyes, flicking this way and that, or the hands, reaching out to grab something suddenly.  No, it is slow and steady. Reliable. Dependable. And it wants to do only that which we will it to do – what G-d wants of us – to follow the Torah.  For the further from the head it is, the further it is from our trick-playing intellect.  The heel knows who is its maker.

But there’s another meaning for Eikev, and another significance for our Akiva: it is used to describe the days before the coming of Moshiach.  Just as our Akiva has come to join us, we believe, please G-d, on the heels of Moshiach, he will live a life fit for someone of this stature.  For we learn that when the Messiah is to come, the Jews will surely follow G-d’s commandments.  So we hope that our Akiva will, please G-d, grow to be a tzaddik, and will walk in the ways of G-d and in the footsteps of Moshiach.

May we all merit to see the days of Moshiach arrive speedily in our time.

Read more on Parshas Eikev: G-d Keeps His Promises

Rebbetzin Riva Sperling on Why Women Cover Their Hair

I went tonight to a shiur by Rebbetzin Riva Sperling, who is visiting Sydney from Yerushalayim.  She spoke on the topic of why women cover their hair.  Here is a summary of the sources.

Does a Jewish woman have to cover her hair? Is it halacha? YES.

Torah – Bamidbar Chapter 5:
Describes the ordeal of the sotah, or the woman suspected of being unfaithful to her husband.  ”The kohen (priest) shall stand the woman before G-d and uncover her hair.”  The whole lead-up to her actually drinking the bitter waters is supposed to be more and more embarrassing, to get her to confess her misdeed.  Therefore, we can infer two things from this: first, that married Jewish women cover their hair and second, that it is embarrassing to have it uncovered.

With what does a Jewish woman have to cover her hair?

Gamara – Ketubot 72a:
The Mishnah described Dat Yehudit as including a woman going out with her hair uncovered.  This means there is a minhag of women covering their hair that has taken on the force of law across all of Judaism.
The Talmud points out, via Rabbit Yishmael, that from the Torah’s perspective even a basket suffices as a head covering, but for Dat Yehudit this is insufficient.  (A “basket” could be translated as a sort of straw head-covering, a head covering of coarse cloth, or a scarf with holes in it, depending on who’s doing the translating.)

The Shiltei Giborim on Rif:
The Torah forbids a woman to go out without a basket on her head.

Rambam, Issurei Biah 21:17:
“Jewish women should not go bareheaded in the marketplace.”

Where does a Jewish woman have to cover her hair?

Gemara – Ketubot 72b:
R. Zerah points out that a woman has to cover her hair with something more than a basket when she goes to the marketplace, but in her own courtyard if she’s required even to cover her hair with a basket, it is too stringent and many Jewish women will be divorced.

Tosafot:
Say that even without a basket (the minimal head covering) a woman doesn’t violate the prohibition as long as she is in her how courtyard. (This is true even if other people can look into the courtyard!)

Gemara – Yoma 47a:
There was a woman named Kimchit whose 7 sons were all Kohen Gadol (high priest).  When the sages asked her how she merited this, she told them it was because even the walls of her house had never seen the hairs of her head. The sages responded that many women had done this without getting such reward.

Darkei Moshe, Even ha-Ezer 115, letter 4:
Going without a head-covering is only forbidden in the marketplace, but it is modest for a woman not to show her hair, even at home.

Bayyit Hadash (Bah):
Takes the more strict view that leaving the hair uncovered is forbidden, even if the woman is in her own courtyard.  Even the men of her household (her husband and children) shouldn’t see her without a hair covering.

Responsa Hattam Sofer, Orah Hayyim 36:
A woman has to wear at least a scarf, even in her own room. If she goes into the marketplace, she must also wear a hat. (Keep in mind that the Hattam Sofer was working against the Reform movement. The Reform movement went to the opposite extreme, in allowing that women never needed to cover their hair, so the Hattam Sofer responded with an extremely stringent opinion.)

Responsa Igrot Moshe, Even ha-Ezer, Vol. 1, 58:
Rav Moshe Feinstein points out that the Bah had required hair coverings in the courtyard, but the Hattam Sofer requires coverings even in the woman’s own room. He notes that all other authorities take the lenient view of the Bah. Although it is admirable to follow the example of Kimchit, women who do uncover their hair in their own space are not in violation of Dat Yehudit.

How much hair does a Jewish women have to cover?

Magen Avraham, Orah Hayyim 75:2:
According to the Zohar, every last strand of hair should be covered.

Responsa Maharam Alshakar 35:
Some women leave “the hair outside their tresses” (some strands of hair to the sides) exposed for looks.  This hair is not normally covered, so it’s not considere to be an erotic stimulus.  As far as the Zohar is concerned, it applies only to hair that is normally covered. Otherwise, women would even have to cover their eyebrows!  He also points out that “in many things our sages were lenient so that women would remain attractive to their husbands.”

Responsa Hattam Sofer, Orah Hayyim 36:
The Zohar supplants the Talmud, so that exposing any hair outside the tresses is forbidden.

Responsa Igrot Moshe, Even ha-Ezer, Vol. 1, 58:
The actually Talmudic prohibition is against Jewish women going out with their hair unkempt, so if only a few strands are visible one cannot infer that all the hair is unkempt. Therefore, these strands are not a problem. There is an amount called a tefah, which is about 8-10 cm, or half the width of the head.  You are permitted to show just under 1 square tefah of hair.  (Usually a good rule is 2 finger widths.)

Women have many ways to cover their hair. In this photo my friend wears a wig, or sheitel, while I wear a scarf, or tichel.

We then had a nice discussion about some other issues, such as women who shave their heads.  Some hassidic women do this after marriage so they never risk showing their hair.  They wear a head covering at all times and wear fancy wigs just for their husbands.  However, this practice has been discouraged by modern poskim, unless you are a member of one of these sects.

One of the reasons hair is covered, aside from because G-d said so, is that it is considered to be one of the most sensual parts of a woman and one of the most sexually attractive parts.  A married woman does not need to show this to men other than her husband. Also, a head-covering can indicate to other men that she is married.  Also, like tzitzit for a man, a woman’s head-covering reminds her of Hashem’s presence… and even more than that, reminds her that she is married.

We also talked about the mystical significance of hair, which some say represents creativity and the creative force.  Men are conduits and bring that creative force down from shemayim (heaven) but women need to contain and refine it. Therefore, a woman covers her hair to contain and control her creative forces, allowing her to take her husband’s creative forces and shape them into something more useful.

It was a great discussion and it was nice to learn all of the sources!

Hold Your Breath and Face Your Fears

I just did something that scared me.  I don’t want to say what it was because it really doesn’t matter. We all have our fears, logical or not (usually not!).

This was something that has been keeping me up at night.  Now that I’ve done it, I feel so much better!  And I feel really proud of myself and really good that I did it and successfully took care of it.  You know, we learn in this week’s parsha about how important it is to thank Hashem for everything and not to take excessive pride in our accomplishments because everything is from Hashem.  But the decision to do the right thing we can take credit for because we have free will.  How this turned out was not up to me (and it turned out fine) but deciding to take the step to deal with it WAS up to me and I do feel good about it!

So here are some ways I dealt with facing this challenge:

• Don’t think about it when you can’t do anything about it.  At night when I needed to sleep and couldn’t fix it, I tried deep breathing techniques and make myself think of other things. I wasn’t going to solve the problem in the middle of the night!
• Empower yourself.  I repeated to myself over and over that nobody was forcing me to do this – I was deciding for myself to do it.
• Know that everything is for the best.  One night, I calmed myself by reciting “gam zu le tova,” “everything is for the good” over and over.  This is EMUNAH and it has incredible power to change our lives.  I just knew that even if I couldn’t see it now, Hashem would make this all work out for the best.
• Take it one step at a time.  I tried not to think about all the many, many things I needed to do to accomplish it. I just looked at one tiny task at a time and they added up.
• Hold your breath, close your eyes, and just jump in! (This also works very well when you need to get in a cold swimming pool.) When it comes to that crucial moment, just push yourself to do it, even when you are internally resisting it.  Once you’ve hit that button or made that leap, there is no turning back. You just have to force yourself to do it – and it helps if you look away.

I hope these tips help you to face your own fears and move forward with the challenges in your own life!