The Significance of Fasting on Yom Kippur; Fasting while Pregnant; Fasting while Nursing/Breastfeeding

This will be my fourth Yom Kippur since being married.  For some reason, I remember the Yom Kippur before my marriage and all of those since, but the ones earlier than that fade into the oblivion of memory.

In the Yom Kippur before my marriage, what I remember has nothing to do with fasting.  I remember most distinctly Kol Nidre. I remember preparing myself beforehand, thinking about all the wrong I’d done in the year. I focused deeply on repenting for those sins and when I stood for the Kol Nidre prayers in the Young Israel of Miami, I cried.

My first Yom Kippur as a married woman is the first time the fasting aspect features distinctly in my memory.  Our first high holidays ever spent together took place in Mexico City and I woke up in the wee hours of the morning with what tourists like to call “Montezuma’s Revenge.”  Well, I don’t know what Montezuma wanted revenge on me for, but it must have been pretty serious.  By the time the fast was nearing, I was severely dehydrated, could hardly keep down water, and couldn’t even look at food.  A doctor came by and prescribed medication for me and the local rabbi declared that it would be dangerous for me to fast.  Instead of fasting, I was allowed one shot glass of liquid (I went for Gatorade) every 10 minutes; same for rice.  Although the truth was that on Yom Kippur, I found it just as painful to eat and drink as to not.  By the end of the fast, I was very weak in spite of the permission not to “fast.”  But hey, at least I was keeping food down.

My second Yom Kippur as a married woman I was at Newtown Synagogue in Sydney, Australia.  I was pregnant with Akiva, but because I was in my first trimester, nobody knew.  It was my first time fasting while pregnant and it was incredibly difficult.  Truth was, I didn’t have much of an appetite in those days.  My morning sickness was so terrible that I balked at the sight of food – sometimes even was made ill at the sight of it.  Yet, the only cure I had found for my morning sickness (at least with that pregnancy!) was to eat some crackers and drink some juice and water.  The longer I went without eating, the more nauseous I became.  If I ate anything too much, I got sick, too.  So for the Yom Kippur fast, I felt more and more sick.  If I stood to pray during services, I couldn’t control my nausea anymore and so had to sit for 95% of the time.  Ladies from the synagogue later confessed that they knew I was pregnant by how sick I was during that fast!

My third Yom Kippur as a married woman I was at Greenslopes Synagogue in Brisbane, Australia.  I wasn’t pregnant, but I was full-time nursing four-month-old Akiva, who was, Baruch Hashem, a voracious eater.  For days ahead of time, I expressed milk so that I would not have to feed him quite as much.  Unfortunately, he developed a fever erev Yom Kippur, which of course made him more thirsty than normal!  But beyond an unearthly thirst, I don’t remember the fast being particularly difficult.  It was in the days after when my milk supply was too low to feed my still-feverish baby that I had the most difficulty.  For me, last year’s Yom Kippur lasted more than one day – for me, it lasted a whole week!

This year I am pregnant again for Yom Kippur.  I’ve weaned Akiva (which was so easy to do I still don’t understand what the fuss is about), but at nearly 8 months pregnant, fasting is a very different experience than when you’re 8 weeks pregnant.  You see, fasting causes all sorts of changes in your body.  Decreased sugars make your blood sugar levels drop – and not just yours, but baby’s, too.  Lack of fluid causes dehydration and drops blood pressure.  Both low blood sugar and low blood pressure can result in a reduced flow of essential blood and glucose to all parts of your body – including your brain – and your baby.  This is why some people become faint, dizzy, lightheaded, or even pass out while fasting.  Of course, while you’re pregnant, your baby takes what it needs from you first, leaving you with even less resources than the person fasting next to you.  And when you run out of resources, you won’t be the only one feeling it – your baby will, too.

That’s why at every stage of pregnancy, a rabbi should be consulted before fasting, preferably one who is well-versed in halacha in this area.  A doctor should be consulted, too, to determine the level of danger to the baby.  You see, when a baby doesn’t receive enough of what it needs to survive, it can go into distress.  And a baby in distress will often go hand-in-hand with early labor.  That’s why there are such a large number of babies born on or just after Yom Kippur or Tisha B’Av.

If the baby is small enough, it is unlikely to need such a large amount of resources that it would go into distress from fasting.  If the baby is big enough, it is no problem if the baby’s stress causes the womb to open – it’s already healthy and fully-formed – just the world outside appears to be more hospitable than the world within.  But there is a point when fasting can be truly dangerous for a baby. If the mother has complications like placenta praevia or preeclampsia, for instance.  Or if the baby is in that kind of twilight zone where it’s big enough that it could go into distress and labor could begin, yet is still too young to enter the world without serious risk of permanent health problems.  I fall into that latter stage.  A baby born before 37 weeks of gestation has immature lungs, low birth weight, and a long list of potential complications. So if your doctor considers that fasting would be a danger to the baby, then your rabbi should know – and you should always ask, even if you really, really want to fast.  According to halacha, if fasting is dangerous, then it is forbidden, and it is as much of a mitzvah to eat and drink during a fast for health reasons as it is for a healthy person to fast fully.

All of this left me thinking this year about what the meaning of fasting really is.  Most people seem to wish each other an “easy fast,” but is that really the point?

I can think of three times when a person loses their appetite completely: someone who is very ill, someone who is deeply mourning, and someone who is incredibly nervous (as in, someone whose life is at stake).  These three types of people generally have no interest in food.  In all three cases, you feel the weight of your mortality.  Whether you feel your life is about to end because you could be put on death row, whether the death of someone very close to you brings your own mortality close to mind, or whether you are so ill you fear you might not survive, eating and drinking just seem so secondary.

On Yom Kippur our lives are, quite literally, at stake.  G-d is deciding our fate for the upcoming year and we are at risk of being put on death row.  This is why we do kapparot – we slaughter a chicken to remind ourselves that it is us who deserve to die for all the sins we’ve done.  We throw ourselves on G-d’s mercy to save us.  And if we have only one chance – literally – to save our skins, then we’d better take it pretty seriously.  On a day like that, how can we think about eating or drinking?

Unless, of course, not eating or drinking will end our lives.  In that case, we have to eat.  Just as a doctor will force an anorexic to have sustenance even if they do not want to eat, we must force ourselves to eat an drink if our life (or the life of our baby) is at stake.  We must do it in a way that shows we are not doing it for the pleasure of it, but because we have to.  We cannot sit down to a delicious steak dinner and say, “Well, I have to because I am so sick.”  If a rabbi tells us we must eat or drink on Yom Kippur, we must do so in a way that does not give us pleasure – a tablespoon of water at a time, a mouthful of plain rice, a plain crust of bread.  Enough to survive, but not enough to give us great gustatory joy.

After all, when your ultimate fate is at stake, when your life hangs in the balance, eating a delicious meal is the last thing on our minds.  We are Jews: we do not live to eat… we eat in order to live.

Shabbat shalom and may you all have a meaningful fast!

Read more about Yom Kippur in Sydney, Australia

Read more about Yom Kippur with the Jewish community in New Caledonia

Read more about Yom Kippur: Facing Your Truth

Read more about Yom Kippur & Jonah: Talkin’ About a Revolution

in yesterdays post, I spoke about meals on planes. thus I figure why not talk about the people serving the food…

On my recent flight with American Airlines from Chicago to Tokyo, I must say I was served by a couple of airline stewards/s who were old enough to be my grandparents. Now please don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against older people being air stewards, though these people did not seem to happy to be doing what they were doing.

Many people who fly are accustomed to the sickening, overly-smiling airline workers who seem to smile from take off to landing. I’ve always wondered how they do it. Fly Virgin Australia, Virgin Atlantic, various Asian Airlines, and many other airlines and you will most likely be served by a young-smiling-happy person. This is not the case with many of the American based airlines.
The people serving me on my American Airlines flight looked like they were in their fifties and sixties, and I did not see a single smile ONCE! They seemed to go about their job with monotony, indifference and boredom. My wife reported a similar experience on her recent flights with United Airlines; in fact, she said she had the worst flight she had ever experienced because of the negative attitude of the flight attendants.

Why is this?

Working as an airline hostess/stewardess used to be a job for young people, something they did for just a few years. They would fly around the world, get to travel, meet new people, and overall just have a good time. It was never a career decision. No one would say “I want to spend the next twenty plus years being an airline steward/ess.” It was more like something you did for 2-3 years while you figured out what you wanted to do with your life. You had to take a relatively short and easy course, and if you had a pleasant personality (and you weren’t too short to close the overhead bins, or to fat to fit down the aisle) you cold get the job.

But in America it has changed. Now there are middle-aged people who have made being an airline hostess a career, and I don’t think this is such a good thing. Instead of viewing their job as a fun adventure, they view it with resentment because it takes them away from their home and family. If you are a middle-aged person who enjoys your job as an airline host/ess and you are full of joy every day (my wife met a woman like this on a recent US Airways flight, so they do exist!), then by all means continue fulfilling your passions, but if you are no longer happy with this choice, then please move on to a new career!

Having flown on some 300 flights in my life so far, I have tasted a fair share of kosher airline meals. Some have been fantastic, balanced, and well thought out, while others could have used some work.
Once, my regular kosher meal did not make it onto the plane. However, a first-class passenger had ordered a kosher meal but did not show up. So I was given the extra first-class kosher meal. The tray was too big even to fit on the tray holder in front of me and it came with real dishes and cutlery! All the other passengers were staring and asking what kind of meal I ordered, which came with a variety of very nice courses. I told them I ordered a kosher meal – boy, they might have been disappointed on their next trip!
On my recent trip to the United States from Australia, I flew with Japan Airlines which coded shared with American Airlines. On the Japan Airline flights I had three meals, two of which were wonderful fish meals, with rice and various side dishes. The third meal was three large pieces of while fruit, which I found interesting. The fruit was wrapped in plastic and had a KSML sticker on it. I tried communicating with one of the air hostess, wanting to understand how they arrived at this unique kosher meal. I explained that the meal was indeed kosher, and I being a fruit lover, I enjoyed the meal. But many other kosher passengers would not be happy with such a meal. I never did get a good explanation.

On the way back with American Airlines I received three meat meals. One was some sort of gooey dried out chicken nuggets, another was frozen meat balls, and the third a pastrami sandwich. My wife, who does not eat meat, would not have enjoyed these meals at all. I guess that is why she always makes sure to pack enough food for an army when she flies somewhere. Once we nearly missed our flight because she was cooking a huge meal to bring with us!

Now those who know me, would be aware that I don’t eat a lot of meat, though I still enjoy a good quality fleishig meal. None of the meals were good, and three meat meals on a twelve hour flight I feel is over doing it. But Americans do like their meat I guess, and Japanese like fish, so the airlines order similar types of kosher airline meals to what they think the passengers would enjoy. Whoever is making those kosher airline meals for American Airlines, I think there is a lot of room for improvement. I’ve had some fantastic kosher airline meals, but sadly yours have not made the list.

The High Holidays and the Significance of Food in Judaism

Below follows my High Holydays message as published in The Voice, the Adelaide Hebrew Congregation newsletter.

I guess if I’m going to be Jewish (and a Rebbetzin, no less!), it’s a good thing I like cooking.  In these weeks leading up to Rosh Hashanah and Sukkot, it seems like all I’ve been doing is cooking and baking up a storm.  My fridges and freezers are full to capacity, but with 18 (yes, eighteen!) meals this holiday season, I think it’s best to work ahead a bit.

Food and eating play a central role in Judaism.  You know the old joke about Jewish holidays: “They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!”  But the reality is that eating is much more than that for us.  Food is a means of connection and connection is extremely important in Judaism.

On the one hand, we use food to connect with other people.  We often use food to show our love, by putting our time and effort into creating something for someone else to enjoy, even though we know it will not last (except maybe on our thighs!).  Family mealtimes are an opportunity to spend time together and to focus on one another, especially on Shabbat and Yom Tov, when there are no distractions like TVs and phones.  In fact, family therapists often recommend that their clients begin repairing damaged relationships by having one family dinner per week, with no interruptions.  Judaism is ahead of the curve – we do this every week anyway, helping us to build strong families and relationships before there is a problem.

Food in Judaism also serves the dual purpose of connecting us to G-d.  Before we eat or drink anything, we make a blessing on it.  This brings us into a state of mindfulness and an attitude of gratitude that experts on happiness all agree is essential to living a joyful life.  But making blessings on food does not just help us tap into a high spiritual state; focusing sincerely on our relationship with G-d actually changes physical reality.  A molecular photographer once took some photos of water molecules.  They were boring, straight-edged shapes.  But once a blessing was made on the water, the molecules miraculously changed shape.  They looked like beautiful snowflakes.  Yet these were the exact same water molecules.  By using them as a tool to connect with G-d, they were actually physically changed.  When we ingest something that has been changed in this way, we are not only emotionally and spiritually connecting to G-d, but we are physically connecting ourselves to Him.

On Rosh Hashanah there are a variety of symbolic foods we eat.  Using foods as symbols helps make their message a part of us, and has the added bonus of making their meaning more interesting and memorable.  Apples and challah dipped in honey signify that we should have a sweet new year, as does honey cake.  Round challahs remind us of the continuity of creation – as we finish the Torah in the holiday season, we immediately begin again.  We also eat a new fruit on the second night of Rosh Hashanah, on which we make a “shecheiyanu” blessing thanking G-d for keeping us alive and bringing us to this season.  Thus we are reminded to be grateful not only for every day we are alive, but also for the ability to enjoy the bounty G-d has given us.  We also eat fish (or lamb), generally with the head still attached, to signify that we should be a “head” and not a “tail,” as Rosh Hashanah is the “head of the year.”  Fish is also a symbol of abundance and fertility.  Some people even make up their own “symbols” to include, which can be as clever and creative as you like.  For example, you might make a little salad with half a raisin and some celery, so you can “half a raisin celery” (“have a raise in salary”).

On Sukkot, the food you eat is less important, but where you eat it is very important.  It is the Feast of Tabernacles.  While it is a great mitzvah to spend as much time in the sukkah as possible, it is much more important to be in the sukkah when you eat.  It wouldn’t be much of a Feast of Tabernacles if you did your feasting outside of the tabernacle, would it?  While we eat, we seek shelter in a makeshift booth, where we rely upon G-d for protection from the elements (and the bees!).  Within the sukkah, we shake lulav (made up of a date palm frond, willow branch, and myrtle) and etrog (citron).  The etrog is a fruit with a strong taste and smell, symbolizing Jews with Torah learning and good deeds.  The date is a fruit with a good taste but no smell, representing Jews who have Torah learning but no good deeds.  Myrtle smells good but has no taste, for Jews who have good deeds but no Torah knowledge. Finally, the willow has no taste and no smell, for Jews who have neither good deeds nor Torah knowledge.  All four are held together because all types of Jews are important and loved by G-d.  To remind themselves to strive to both learn Torah and do good deeds, many people eat etrog jelly after Sukkot is over, and it is seen as a segula (symbol) for easy birth when a pregnant woman eats it (maybe I should try this!) or for a blessing on the home when it is eaten on Tu B’Shvat.

Even less well-known holidays in Judaism come with special foods for us to eat.  On the day before Yom Kippur and on Hoshanah Raba (the seventh and last day of Sukkot) (as well as on Purim) we eat kreplach (pockets of dough filled with meat or other stuffing) to symbolize two things: 1) that it is a holiday (symbolized by the meat) yet not a complete holiday (symbolized by the dough covering and hiding it) and 2) that it is a time of judgment for the Jewish people – we ask that the divine judgment (meat, which is a dead animal) be tempered by G-d’s goodness and compassion (bread, which sustains life).  On Shemini Atzeret, although it is no longer Sukkot, we continue to eat in the sukkah.  On Simchat Torah, we eat foods that are rolled, like the Torah is.  (I know many people are thinking of deli rolls, but I am thinking of cinnamon swirls!)  We also drink wine or other spirits on Simchat Torah, to help us feel the joy of Torah and so we can celebrate G-d’s goodness without inhibitions.

For us Jews, food is much more than just a gustatory and epicurean activity.  It is a spiritual experience, a symbolic endeavour, and an interpersonal relationship builder.  It helps us to remember who we are as Jews, where we came from, and where we are going.

So as I cook for the holidays, I’ll be adding some extra honey to my challah and kugels, and extra apple to my cakes.  And most of all, I’ll be adding some extra love and care in the hopes that each and every one of us has a happy, sweet, and loving new year.

Shana tova & be’te avon,

Rebbetzin Rachel

Read more about the Jewish High Holidays:

Read more about Blowing the Shofar Before Rosh Hashanah During the Month of Elul

Read more about Rosh Hashanah Dessert Recipes

Read more about Rosh Hashanah & Sukkot Are Soon: Try Cooking Ahead! 

Read more about Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur in Sydney, Australia

Read more about Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur with the Jewish community in New Caledonia

Read more about Yom Kippur: Facing Your Truth

Read more about Yom Kippur & Jonah: Talkin’ About a Revolution

Read more about Celebrating Sukkot in Newtown, Sydney, Australia

Read more about What is a Simchat Beis HaShoeva Sukkot Celebration & Are There any in Sydney, Australia?

Read more about Hoshanah Raba: We Can All Be Kings