Parshas Shoftim: The Power of a Can-Do Attitude

How many of us achieve our dreams and our goals? Studies show that most people abandon a resolution within two weeks of making it. Some of this is just due to habit – it’s hard to create or break habits – but some of it is due to our attitude. Many times we simply do not reach our goals because in our minds we are thinking we will never reach them. And that simple thought undermines us and makes itself true – and in the process corrodes future optimism.

It’s easy to be a nay-sayer. It’s easy to look at any project, resolution, or goal and say, “Oh, it’s just not possible.” Even for Rabbis this is the case. It is very easy for a Rabbi to say “That’s not kosher” but much harder for a Rabbi to say, “Yes, it is kosher.” Saying “No” is easy because there are always a million and one things that could go wrong in every case. Saying “Yes” is difficult because it requires hard work, diligence, commitment, and deep thought.

In this week’s parsha, we are commanded to make a peaceful overture to our enemies before waging battle. Often, we barge head-on into conflict, our self-righteousness carrying us forward. But secretly we are thinking, “What is the point of making a peaceful overture they will never accept?” We simply expect that because we disagree, conflict is inevitable and attempts at resolution will fail. We do not approach our enemies with open hearts and open minds because ours, unfortunately, are already closed.

This is the real reason we give gifts on Purim. We are meant to give gifts not to our friends, but to those we are in conflict with. It is a way of making a peaceful overture while at the same time “saving face.” The fact is, most of the time if we make a peace offering the person we are at odds with will accept and return it. But we are too busy telling ourselves “it is not possible” to accept that it is not only possible, but it actually probable!

This is true not only in cases of conflict, but in every area of our lives. Whether it’s a dream, a goal, or a project, we can at least make a peaceful overture instead of waging a war on it. We can start making an effort to accomplish it and accompany it with the message of “Yes, I can!” If we can do this, we will undoubtedly be surprised by the amount of success we have.

Shabbat Shalom!

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