Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 3 – Mental & Emotional Benefits for Baby)

The last couple of days, I have been posting my top 10 reasons to allow your baby to play with local adults and children as you backpack or travel through a foreign country.  We’ve already gone through the benefits for mom and dad (and there are benefits for us parents, too!) and the physical benefits your baby receives. Today I’ll go through the last four points in my top ten: the mental, intellectual, and emotional benefits to your baby.

So with no further ado, here are the last four in my top ten reasons for your baby to play with the locals as you travel or backpack:

4. Play teaches impulse control

Akiva and a curious Thai girl get to know one another. What ensued was a little "dance" back and forth as each tried to figure out how best to approach the other, whether through touching, speech, or simply eye contact.

Another social benefit of allowing your baby to play with the locals as you go is that she will learn better impulse control.  Self-regulation is hard work for a baby, who is used to having the world revolve around them and mommy and daddy respond to every whim.  But playing with others means social rules and limits are automatically imposed.  The exact rules of the game, might change slightly in every culture, but the skill learned will always be the same: control yourself.  More time spent playing means a less impulsive child, teenager, and eventually adult.

3. Play helps your baby’s social development

Akiva holds hands with an Israeli girl. Through this kind of contact, both babies learn appropriate social boundaries, such as what kind of touch is appropriate (at this stage, that mostly means 'painless'), thereby improving their social skills.

Playing with others helps your child learn important skills of social interaction.  She’ll learn how to relate to others on a basic level, which transcends cultural boundaries.  In every culture, babies and children need to learn skills like taking turns, sharing, and working together. They also learn skills like empathy – no matter where in the world you are, your baby can still learn to notice another child’s feelings and responses.  These skills are crucial for their social development and the skills they gain now they will have later in life as well.  Kids that play better together become better collaborators and team players as adults – skills that will benefit your child all through her life.

There are other social benefits, too.  Play allows your child to learn how to express her emotions – both positive and negative – in a safe, creative space.  However, children find it most difficult to learn how to express the negative feelings – which are often the most powerful – and play gives them an outlet for these.  Playing with toys or role-playing with another little one gives them a chance to get it all out.

2. Play will make your baby smarter

Akiva stares at a native Thai village girl who wants to play with him. Babies are constantly observing and learning, and picking up on new details and information as they play with others.

Your baby’s brain is still growing and developing.  New cells are being formed and new links created every single day. Why not provide those links with some stimulation? Forming strong links between new brain cells ensures they stay active, improving your baby’s intelligence and memory.  Babies learn faster and form stronger links and associations by actual physical play than by watching television or a DVD.  Also, we know that as adults we learn better when we teach a skill to someone else – so why not let your baby “teach” new skills and ideas to a new friend?

Attention span and concentration are specific skills controlled by a certain area of the brain.  In today’s world of immediate gratification, constant entertainment, and ceaseless change, these areas of the brain don’t get as much stimulation and encouragement as they ought to.  However, you can encourage your baby to build these parts of her brain by giving her something to focus on that she won’t want to look away from: playing with new friends.

And… the number one reason to let your baby play with locals is…

1. Play with locals will improve your baby’s language and literacy

Babies all over the world are what I like to describe as ‘citizens of the world.’ They can discriminate all the sounds of all languages, no matter what country we’re testing and what language we’re using.
— Patricia Kuhl

Language has a critical period for learning, which means that you and I, as adults, will have a more difficult time learning new languages. (Rabbi Ben disagrees with this, but the scientific studies disagree with him.) In fact, we as adults cannot even always distinguish all the sounds in all the languages – but babies can.  Children learn language best before the age of 7, so by exposing your child(ren) to native speakers of foreign languages, you’re giving them the opportunity to learn language more easily.

And for anyone thinking of traveling with a baby and saying to themselves, “but my baby can’t even talk yet!” – don’t let this be a reason not to travel. In fact, if you’re traveling with a baby, this is the best and most important time to let your baby play with locals – especially adults.  That’s because between 6 and 12 months of age – and especially between the ages of 8 and 10 months – baby brains are being wired for language. This is the age when they learn to distinguish sounds. It’s when they learn to tell the differences between tones in language, or between “R” and “L” sounds, for example.

Eight-month-old Akiva makes friends with some Hmong hill tribe natives of Thailand. Although he has had a lot of exposure recently to Thai speakers, exposure to speakers of the Hmong language will help him to form new pathways in his brain that will enable him to hear and recognize more language sounds as he grows older.

Now, if you think you’ll teach your baby these same language skills using Baby Einstein, think again. Studies show that a baby who watches TV in a foreign language or listens to audio cassettes in a foreign language does not learn the sounds in that foreign language at all.  It takes a human being to play with and talk to the baby in a language.  So by allowing your baby to play with the locals as you travel, you are actually allowing them to rewire their brains for a second language. What an advantage to give your youngster!

And if that doesn’t convince you to let your baby play with the locals as you travel, think about this: Babies who engage in (especially sociodramatic) play use more words, string together longer sentences, and apply more complexities to their speech.  Additionally, by allowing your baby to play with others, rather than simply sitting him down in front of the iPad when you need a short break, leads to an increase in language skills (of 15%, according to studies – a significant amount). So if you weren’t convinced before, let your baby play with the locals!

Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 2 – Physical Benefits for Baby)

As I mentioned yesterday, allowing your baby to play with locals (including adults, but especially children) as you travel had many benefits as you travel or backpack around. Yesterday I mentioned the first 3 reasons why allowing your child to play with locals is a benefit.  As I explained, not only does your baby benefit, but so do you, as the parent!

So here are my top ten reasons to allow your traveling or backpacking baby or infant to play with local children:

7. Play makes your baby stronger and aids in physical development

Babies at play are always moving. Even stuck in a high chair, Akiva finds a way to move around - by giving repeated high fives to an Israeli friend.

Playing requires movement.  Unlike sitting in front of the television, playing with other children can take on many forms, but they all require movement.  Even a tea party will get your child moving.  And movement has a lot of benefits.  It makes your little one physically stronger, as he uses his muscles repeatedly and in new ways, but it also lowers the risk of obesity and all its related diseases.

6. Play reduces stress

Akiva takes some time out to de-stress with an Israeli friend. Note that anything can become a good plaything - Akiva and his friend were playing with his bottle, having discarded his other, more "conventional" toys.

Travel can be stressful, not only for you, but for your baby as well.  Young babies don’t have long enough term memory to be bothered by the change of scenery, but older toddlers may experience some stress at the change in location.  This is especially true with things like sleeping arrangements.  And babies of any age are liable to suffer from overstimulation.  Even babies and toddlers who are not traveling experience stress as they learn to navigate social rules, follow adult instructions, control their impulses, and cope with separations. To make matters worse, babies pick up on their parents’ and others’ emotional states and reflect them back like little mirrors.  If you’re feeling tired, stressed, or overwhelmed, your baby is going to feel the same.  So what to do?

How you deal with stress may vary, but the best, cheapest, fastest, and easiest stress buster for your baby is play.  Play enables your baby to “escape” from the stressful situation by focusing in on something different and enjoyable. By concentrating her attention, it can also reduce the risk of overstimulation.  Plus, all that moving around burns off the cortisol that stress produces and replaces it with endorphins and other feel-good hormones.  If your baby seems out-of-sorts, take some time out of your day’s travel to play with her… or, better yet, to find her a little friend to play with!

5. Play is good for your baby’s health

Akiva plays with a Thai girl. By allowing him to sit and play on the floor with local kids, we expose him to plenty of germs, I'm sure... and yet, he almost never gets sick. Baruch Hashem, so far he has exhibit no allergies, either.

Ok, all your paranoid parents: This one’s for you. Yes, playing while you travel will actually make your baby healthier.  In fact, eating dirt, germs, bacteria, viruses, and even worms are vital to the development of a healthy immune system in your baby.  Scientists now believe that the widespread rise of diseases like multiple sclerosis, type 1 diabetes, inflammatory bowel disease, asthma, and allergies in Western countries are because we are too clean.  A baby’s body does not come pre-programmed with appropriate immune responses. Like almost everything else, from palate to preferences, your baby’s immune system needs to learn what to respond to – and what not to.  When small doses of toxins and disease agents enter your baby’s system, her body learns that these are invaders that must be attacked.  When there is nothing to attack, your baby’s immune system may in fact turn on itself and begin attacking things that are beneficial to it – such as peanuts, eggs, or its own insulin.  So let your baby get down and dirty with the local kids!

Read more in the New York Times.

The best is yet to come – tomorrow I’ll post my top 4 reasons to let your baby play with the locals! Watch this space!

Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 1 – Benefits for Parents)

In my opinion, some parents (especially moms) are way too paranoid about their children.  Remember, if you are afraid of your child coming into contact with dirt or germs, just don’t travel. In fact, I recommend that you not even leave your house. Because if you do travel, your child will come into contact with germs and dirt, no matter how careful you try to be.  So whatever you do, don’t let fear of germs be a reason not to allow your child to play with the locals – especially the local children.

To the contrary, there are some real benefits to allowing your baby to play with locals as you travel or backpack around. Some of them are tangible, immediate benefits. Others are scientifically proven long-term benefits to your child’s development.  So here are the first three of my top ten reasons to allow your traveling or backpacking baby or infant to play with local children:

10. You make new friends, too

A little old local man enjoys playing with Akiva. I would probably never have had the amazing opportunity to get to know him if not for traveling with a baby. This was a true travel experience!

As I have mentioned before, allowing your baby to play with locals also gives you a chance to make new friends.  Whether it’s letting a local newlywed or expectant parent get clucky over your baby or bonding with a fellow parent, babies are a great opener for communicating with locals.  Even language barriers can be overcome by using your baby as a common bond.  You can form a relationship with almost anybody you meet by letting them (or their baby or child) to play with your little one.  I have had everyone from old men to little kids, flight attendants to teenagers, and taxi drivers to soldiers go out of their way to play with my baby.  I have probably met more locals and had more genuine local travel experiences on account of my baby than I ever did before, and by a lot.  So take advantage of it! Both you and your baby can benefit!

9. Opening new doors

Allowing locals to play with your baby will also open many new doors you never knew existed.  I have had guesthouses offer me special deals just to get me to stay there – so the local owners and employees can play with my delightful baby.  You might find you get invitations to go back with locals to their homes in villages, where you can stay and see the real life locals lead in a place where no other tourists go.  I’ve also had locals go out of their way to get toys or walkers for my baby to play with – all because they want to play with him.

Video: People love to watch babies play!

8. It gives you a break (and free babysitting!)

On a long plane ride, it's helpful to have airline stewards and stewardesses who enjoy the chance to play with your baby - and give you a break!

I’ve traveled both with my husband and without him with the baby.  Either way, there are major benefits to being able to hand over our baby for a little while.  Letting him play for a couple of hours with the locals gives us a much-needed break.  It gives us a chance to take some time out to focus on ourselves – both on our relationship with one another and simply for some much needed “me” time (and time to write!).  If you’re comfortable leaving the baby for a little while, you can even get free babysitting by letting some locals share special time with your baby.  And even if you like to supervise, you can easily take some time out while keeping an eye on what’s going on.  I usually supervise at first and once I know I can trust the person or people handling my baby, I can range further afield.

For example, in most guesthouses we stay in, there are stairs but no elevator, so I have to leave the stroller downstairs.  I then have to carry the baby and everything else all at once up or down the stairs. If making multiple trips, it’s helpful to be able to leave the baby with the loving ladies in reception – even out of my sight – as I make trips up and down, or tidy the room a bit without a little crawler interfering.

For shorter activities with carers I don’t have time to get to know as well, I keep a closer watch. For example, I can go get a massage or a manicure and pedicure.  I get a chance to relax while the girls in the salon who are not busy play with my baby. Yet, at the same time, I can see him at all times.

So take advantage of the opportunity and enjoy your alone time – for free!

Watch for more of the list tomorrow!

Parshas Va’era: Actions Speak Louder than Words

I don’t speak Thai.

Usually when I travel to a place, I try really hard to learn at least a few basic words in the local language, but here in Asia I feel a bit out of my depth.  These are tonal languages and I just can’t seem to get it right. I always feel like I’m talking through my nose and I’m pretty sure that instead of saying what I mean, I’m really using completely different terminology.  Instead of saying, “This is my baby” I’m probably saying something ridiculous like, “I enjoy eating pillowcases.”

So I find it better (and far less embarrassing) if I just don’t speak Thai.

Sometimes this makes it a bit hard to communicate, especially when I am trying to do something like politely decline an offer of a lunch of boiled balls of reconstituted pork, which the Thai people seem to love.  But the truth is that, for the most part, I really don’t need language.  I wanted to know where to buy some clothes for Akiva.  I could ask by looking confused, tugging on my own clothes, and rocking my arms as if rocking a baby (and pointing at Akiva helps).  The answer I received was an indication of the direction I should go – outside the building.  I found the clothing stalls!

Sure, it is always easier if you speak the local language.  You can communicate much more effectively, especially abstract thoughts.  But it’s not necessary.  After all, actions speak louder than words.

We see the truth of this come through in this week’s parsha (and next week’s as well).  Pharaoh is warned repeatedly by Moshe (Moses) and Aharon (Aaron) of the danger of keeping the Jewish people in slavery.  When he refuses to release them, he is struck with plague after plague.  Even when his own magicians and sorcerers come to him after the third plague (lice) and warn him, “This is the finger of G-d!” Pharaoh still will not relent. It is only the repeated actions of G-d that persuade.

It’s interesting because although G-d speaks to Moses, He uses action to communicate with Pharaoh.  For the really big stuff, for the hard communication, G-d chooses to use action instead of words. Upon reflection, I guess we turn to action when we know that the person we’re communicating with simply will not understand our words… even if we do speak the same language.  So when traveling, we can also use action in place of words.

Read more on Parshas Va’era: The Staff of Moses Proves the Butterfly Effect Exists in Judaism

Traveling and Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Mom Makes Local Friends, Too!

When traveling with a baby, it makes sense that baby makes friends everywhere he goes.  But here is a nice bonus: Mom makes friends, too!

You know how it is when you go to the park, the mall, or even the grocery store: You see another mom with a little one the same age as yours engaging in some charmingly silly antics.  Of course you walk over and say hi, and start chatting about your babies!  It’s something you instantly have in common, an instant way to bond with any other mom.

And you know what? This doesn’t just work in your hometown. It works anywhere in the world!

I have walked up to women on the street selling things and started a conversation with them about our babies.  True, sometimes there is a significant language barrier, but some thing surpass language boundaries.  Once you establish that your babies are of similar ages and stages, you can become friends easily.  You can compare your babies or simply let them play together. And, of course, if you do speak the same language, you can learn more about your new friend and her culture.

And guess what! This works well for dads, too!  Men also like babies (how can they resist that cute smile?!) so mommies, get the daddies involved, too!

Enjoy your new friends, and happy travels!