Parshas Shemos: Of Births and Babies

Rabbi Ben with Akiva and Levi

This week while Rabbi Ben was learning, he read to me from the Talmud, that in the days of Moshiach, women will have a child every day.  We don’t know about you, but a child every day seems like more than we’re quite ready to handle. For myself, having only recently given birth, the thought of doing that every day does not sound like my idea of a fun time.

How about having six at a time instead?  We learn that in Egypt the Jews were “fruitful and swarmed and increased and became very, very strong.” Rashi learns out that this means the Jewish women had six babies at once.

How could this be possible? In recent years, multiple births have become more common, thanks at least in part to fertility drug usage. Still, sextuplets are a rare enough occurrence that most instances get a fair amount of media coverage.  And even in twin and triplet births, the rate of birth defects and health problems are greater, so how much more so if six babies are born at once? Now imagine the women in Egypt were made to do backbreaking men’s labor, even while pregnant, and without modern medical intervention and care. How can we possibly believe Rashi?

The answer, of course, is that G-d made a miracle.  When we think about the Exodus from Egypt, miracles are one of the first things that spring to mind.  So this is not too far off.

And Rashi wasn’t just pulling numbers out of the air – he did calculations to figure out that there were six children per birth.  The census one year after leaving Egypt states that there were 22,273 first-born males. Doubling that to account for the number of first-born females gives us 44,546 – the number of families (since there is only one first-born child per family).  The census also tells us that there were 603,550 men between the ages of 20 and 60.  We can double this to account for males above and below these ages, to give us 1,207,100 males. Doubling it again to account for females gives us 2,414,200 Jewish people total.

In those days, according to the Talmud, a woman needed two years after having a child before she could conceive again.  Once we consider the year needed to conceive and account for gestation, there could have been only one birth every three years.  A woman could have had then about 9 or 10 babies during her lifetime.  Yet, when we divide 2,414,200 Jewish people by the 44,546 families the census tells us there were we end up with 54 people in each family… enough for each family to have had 6 children per birth, 9 times.

Pretty amazing, right?

We think having one baby at a time is challenging enough, let alone six, and we’re kind of hoping that having one baby per day in the times of Moshiach is allegorical (Where would they all sleep? How would you remember all their names?).  I guess we will just have to wait to find out!

Shabbat Shalom!

Read more on Parshas Shemos: Moses Teaches Us Never to Get Too Comfortable

Read more on Parshas Shemos: Remember Who Your Family Is! (And the Role of Women in Judaism)

Parshas Vayeishev: Everything is for the Best

Baby Levi

Baruch Hashem, last Friday we had a beautiful bris for our second son, whom we named Levi.  We were very touched by the calls, emails, gifts, and attendance of the community.  Our community in Adelaide may be small, but it is very much alive.  It is the kind of place where each and every Jew can truly feel how special and important (s)he is in his/her contributions.

You may have heard the saying that every cloud has its silver lining, meaning that even in a difficult situation there is something good, if only we look for it.  So too it is true in a place like Adelaide.  Being small, we notice when someone makes the effort to come to Shul to help make the minyan.  We notice when someone helps out in the Shul kitchen or calls to wish another Jew mazal tov.  In big communities, these contributions can often go unnoticed or be taken for granted, but not so here!  Here every person’s specialness shines forth in each and every little mitzvah we do.

In this week’s parsha, Joseph has quite a few difficult experiences.  Yet, he finds the silver lining to every cloud.  This is called emunah, faith, and Joseph’s emunah in G-d never wavers.  No matter what his situation, he finds something good in it.  For instance, when his brothers sell him as a slave, the merchants are carrying spices.  Normally Arab merchants on that route would have been carrying tar and naphtha, which smell terrible, but Joseph’s new masters were instead carrying delicious-smelling spices.  Joseph recognized this as a blessing and a sign that G-d was there with him in his time of need.

Ultimately, this is what each of us must do in our own times of need.  When we are up all night with a crying baby, we must remember to be grateful that we have a baby.  When we lose a job, we must have emunah that something better is coming to us and we must work to find it.  When our car breaks down and needs a repair, we must be grateful it is our car that has broken and not our body.  For everything in life, there is always something to be grateful for.  There is always a bonus, always a silver lining, if only we choose to seek it.

This week we wish you all that you should have such beautiful silver linings that you cannot fail to notice them!

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Vayeishev: If You Can’t Go to Israel, Make Israel Come to You

Read more on Parshas Vayeishev: Joseph, Dreams, and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

Backpacking or Traveling with a Baby or Infant: Getting Over Jet Lag

No matter which way you slice it, jet lag sucks.  No matter how tired you are, you find yourself awake in the middle of the night… then you find yourself falling asleep at the table when you sit down for lunch.  But when you’re dealing not only with your own jet lag, but with your baby’s jet lag, too… Well, that is a much greater challenge!

Jet lag is never fun, and with a baby it is even less so. But some determination and a few simple tricks will have your baby back on schedule in no time!

Babies under the age of 3 months generally don’t have a problem with jet lag.  Their circadian rhythm is not yet fully developed and they are not on such a fixed schedule.  Usually very young babies adapt quite well to travel changes.  But once your baby hits that developmental mark where he/she has developed a circadian rhythm, you are going to have to deal with their jet lag as well as your own.

The fastest way to acclimatize a baby to a new time zone is to keep their schedule in tact, come hell and high water.  No matter what, try your best not to deviate.  If bubba goes down for a nap at noon and sleeps 3 hours, then put him down for a nap at noon and only let him sleep 3 hours.  Try to keep them awake until their appointed bedtime.  Sometimes this may not be possible (they might just fall asleep where they are sitting and no amount of prodding will wake them) but try your very best, even if it is hard.

The harder part is the middle of the night, when your baby will wake up and cry to come out, thinking it must be daytime.  Older babies may understand an explanation of showing them through the window that the sun is asleep and they should be, too.  With younger babies, you may just have no choice but to spend time trying to put them back to sleep as best you can.

When your baby is awake during the daytime, try to do things outside to get their circadian rhythm back in sync.  Remember, circadian rhythm is determined by sunlight, so if you can keep your baby in the sun their brain will automatically associate it with being daytime and they will (hopefully) reset to the new time zone much more quickly.

If you do these simple tricks, there is a good chance that your baby will adjust even faster than you do!  Usually it only takes a couple of days (it took me a week to get Akiva back on schedule when we went from the US to Australia, but that’s as extreme as it gets – completely reversed sunlight hours!).

Good luck!

Traveling or Backpacking with a Baby or an Infant: Packing: Pacifiers (or Dummies or Binkies or Soothers)

It seems like most babies, infants, and toddlers today are using pacifiers (known in other countries as dummies, binkies, or soothers).  And no wonder they’re popular! Babies love to suck and a pacifier gives them something other than mommy to suck on, so they get all the good-feeling hormones without mommy needing to keep baby constantly attached to the breast.

When he was a newborn, we could sometimes get Akiva to take a dummy (or pacifier)... but most of the time he didn't like it much!

Our Akiva had terrible colic for the first two months of his life, so we were willing to try just about anything to get him to calm down and maybe even go to sleep!  Of course we tried offering him a pacifier, but the majority of the time he would not take it. He never seemed to like it much and eventually we gave up offering it to him. (He was happy with a boob or a bottle, though – as long as something actually came out of it!)

So when we travel we don’t have to worry about packing dummies or pacifiers.  But it seems, in my experience, that most people do.

So, how many pacifiers (dummies/binkies/soothers) to pack?

Friends who travelled with a baby told me they started out with five.  After three weeks of travel they had two or three left (they said they had three but one was “missing”… they still hoped to find it!)  So, I would say that if you are normally vigilant, you should pack one pacifier (dummy/binky/soother) per week of travel, plus a couple extra for a buffer zone.

Of course, this also depends on where you travel and what kind of pacifier you use. It also depends on the age of your child.  A newborn or very young infant with a dummy clipped to them on a dummy chain is unlikely to lose very many pacifiers.  However, having an active child above the age of about seven months means you’re running the risk of having the “toss it out, get mommy to pick it up” game be played with the pacifier.  And babies and toddlers who are strong enough will be able to remove most dummy chains.  My friends told me that one of their pacifiers was lost when their daughter tossed it over the edge of a cliff while they were hiking.

Remember, if you use a standard pacifier you can probably replace it easily in many parts of the world. However, in developing countries, they are not so prevalent and so can be more difficult to locate. Similarly, in rural areas or off-the-map places, like hiking and trekking destinations or local villages, you could be stuck without a pacifier if your last one gets lost.

Furthermore, some people use a specific shape or type of dummy or pacifier.  If you or your baby are particular about this, don’t count on finding your specific type when you travel. It might be available; it might not!

So, how does one keep from losing dummies and pacifiers while traveling?

The most obvious answer is not to bring them in the first place! If you’re planning on weaning your child off the pacifier, you might consider doing so before the trip.  On the other hand, with moving from place to place and unfamiliar sleeping situations, you might decide to wait.

Dummy or pacifier chains are a great idea – if your baby won’t remove them!  Most babies are able to pull these things off once they hit a certain age.  My nine-month-old can remove a bib and he can remove a dummy clip, too.  So they might not work.  You can consider allowing your little one to choose a “special” dummy chain (there are many fancy ones available online) if he or she is old enough.  Or you can try to find one that won’t come off so easily, but I have not found one yet.  If you find an ingenious design or one that doesn’t come off, please do let me know!

Other than those ideas, I don’t know of any way to keep a pacifier from getting lost. Everyone I know who has kids who use them constantly complain of lost dummies, so I take it that losing pacifiers is a common occurrence at the best of times.  That’s why my best advice is just to bring lots of extras with you when you travel!

Good luck and safe travels!

Traveling or Backpacking with a Baby or an Infant: Packing: Why You Don’t Need to Pack Toys

In yesterday’s post I explained how to decide why toy (or toys) to pack.  But what happens if they get lost? Do you even need to bring toys with you in the first place?

The truth is that you don’t really need to bring toys for your baby with you when you travel.

Babies will play with almost anything and find it fun. These guys playing music shared a maraca with Akiva. Akiva, however, was just as happy playing with the empty guitar case on the floor!

The whole world is new and exciting for babies, so almost anything can be a fascinating and fun toy.  Older babies, toddlers, and children are already developing healthy imaginations, so they can turn anything they find into something else.  I remember picking leaves off of holly bushes as a young child and imagining they were flying foxes.  I could pick a couple of choice leaves and play with them for hours, anywhere.

When you pack your own stuff, stop and take a moment to evaluate what could be good and safe toys for your baby.  Our baby, for instance, loves playing with the case for my husband’s toothbrush.  It’s long and hollow, with rounded ends, and he enjoys banging it on anything.  There’s no need to bring a plush ball or stuffed animal if you have a pair of socks you can ball up or stuff full. (If you don’t mind, you can even paint faces on the front of your socks and use them as impromptu sock puppets!)  I’m sure that as you go through the things you’re packing anyway, you’ll find quite a few objects that can serve as safe and entertaining toys.

Remember, if you’re traveling and you feel like your child needs a toy to play with, for whatever reason, toys are available universally.  People all over the world have babies and buy them toys, although they might be different to what you find at home! In Thailand and Burma I found plenty of play mats for sale – exactly the same ones I could get back home in Australia or America.  In India I found that most little shops sold mini toy auto-rickshaws for kids, rather than cars, but your kids will enjoy them just the same.

Often, Akiva was more excited to play with a balloon given to him by a vendor in a market than with any actual "toy."

Not only that, but almost anything you encounter in your travels can become a toy for your baby.  I found that disposable plastic cups were a favourite of our baby.  He liked to crinkle them up and listen to the sounds, or to chew on them, or to pretend to drink from them.  He spent far more hours playing with plastic disposable cups during our travels than he did playing with Sophie, the toy giraffe we had brought for him. (Of course, Sophie did serve a purpose – when our Akiva was feeling overwhelmed by all the activity going on around him, he could always pick her up and focus on her… but this purpose could be served by just about anything.)

Also, many times people will give your baby toys as you travel.  Once, walking through a market with a fussy baby, a vendor I was buying some fruit from spontaneously blew up a small balloon for him. He was so happy with the bright red balloon that he stopped crying. Other times, we’d stay in a guesthouse that would find toys for us to use while we were there.

So there is really no need to bring toys with you as you travel or backpack around.  For babies and small children, anything can become a toy!

Happy travels!

Traveling or Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: What Toy(s) to Bring (or Not!)

Our son Akiva with Sophie, his toy giraffe. Notice the dummy or pacifier chain attached to her, which can easily be attached to clothing or to his stroller, pram, or carrier.

If you are planning to go backpacking or traveling with your baby or infant, you might be wondering what to pack.  One of the most obvious things you’re going to be wondering about packing are your baby’s toys.  After all, your baby plays with them all the time at home! What if she is attached to one (or more) of her toys?  And anyhow, how will you entertain her on long flights, waits in airports, or bus rides? You obviously need to bring toys with you!

Ok, so the next question is: How many toys to bring? I suggest only bringing one or two. Yes, only one or two.  Toys don’t serve any other purpose except for your baby to play with.  They are extra weight to carry, they take up valuable packing space, and they are easily lost.  So it’s better to bring as few as possible with you when you travel – if you bring any at all!

What toys should I bring? Well, this is the harder part: deciding which one or two toys are going to come with you.  Rule number one for choosing a toy to bring is: how easily can it be replaced?  This is especially true if your child is very attached to the toy.  Babies will often toss toys out of strollers, or they can easily be left behind on a bus or plane.  Don’t count on holding onto any toy through your whole trip.  If it’s still with you at the end, count it as a bonus, not as something to be expected.

How big is it and how much does it weigh? My goal when packing is always to keep weight to the bare minimum.  It doesn’t matter whether I’m backpacking or traveling with a suitcase – either way, it’s easier to transport something light than to lug along something weighing as much as a baby elephant.  I also find it easier to transport something smaller.  Just because I can get an enormous suitcase doesn’t mean I should! Carrying a smaller bag is always easier to manage and manoeuvre.  So perhaps don’t decide to pack that big set or blocks.

How expensive is it & does it look expensive? Bought for your baby’s entertainment or not, bringing an iPad along when you travel makes you an instant target for thieves.  They know an iPad is expensive and you’re already distracted fussing over your child, so half the work is done for them.  If you do decide to bring something obviously expensive along for your child’s enjoyment, make sure you take out travel insurance to cover it.

Akiva with a little Burmese friend. Because Sophie was clipped to his pram, his little friend could also enjoy playing with her, without any worry that she might "run away."

For our backpacking purposes, we chose to bring with us a rubber toy giraffe named Sophie.  She’s small enough to be unobtrusive, large enough not to be so easily misplaced, and available just about everywhere.  She’s also very lightweight, as she is made of hollow rubber.  Fortunately, a friend had given us a duplicate Sophie at some point, so we even had our backup waiting for us at home.

Once you’ve decided what toy to bring with you, you have to come up with a way not to lose it.  At least you want to hold onto it as long as possible! We tied a string around Sophie’s neck and superglued the knots so they wouldn’t slip.  Then we used an old dummy (or pacifier) chain.  Our baby won’t take a pacifier, but we had an extra chain around that my parents had gotten us back when we were trying to get him to use it.  So we attached it, not to a dummy, but to Sophie, and were then able to clip her onto just about anything without losing her!

I hope you have found these tips useful in your packing.  Traveling or backpacking with a baby or infant is not as difficult as it seems if only you know where to start!

Happy travels!