Parrots in Copan, Honduras
Friday night we ate by this guy who is an orthodox Jew who does stand-up comedy at a number of venues around Norfolk, Richmond, and Newport News, Virginia. The amazing thing is that he goes into the comedy clubs and does his shtick wearing a kippah and showing he is proud to be a Jew.
We had a fun time at the Shabbat table throwing jokes back and forth. And it inspired me to post a series of jokes I used in my last routine when singing and telling jokes for a group of seniors in Florida.
Shlomo is walking past a pet shop and sees a bright colorful parrot in the window. He gets an idea; “This would make the perfect pet for my mother because they’ll be able to talk to each other.”
He enters the shop and engages the parrot in a few languages to see if it’s a good fit for his mother.
“Parele Vou France?” He asks the bird.
“Oui Je Parle France,” replies the bird.
“Habla Español?”
“Sí, hablo.”
Shlomo thinks there is no chance this bird can speak Yiddish!
“Kenst Yiddish?” He asks.
And the parrot without missing a beat replies: “Mit Za a loinge noz bist mir nisht a yid!” (“With such a long nose am I not a Jew?”)
So he buys the bird and sends it to his mother. After a few days he calls her and asks “So Ma, how’s the bird I sent you?”
“Ahhhh the bird,” she says. “It vas delicious!”
So Shlomo buys his mother a second parrot and explains to her that she is not supposed to eat the bird. Well this new parrot has foul language (no pun intended) and is swearing all the time.
Mrs. Shwartz threatens the parrot, “If you keep saying zis not kosher langvetch I vill put you in ze freezer and in ze freezer it is very cold and you vont like it.”
The parrot keeps swearing and Mrs. Shwartz puts him in the freezer. The parrot begins to shriek all kinds of obscenities, and then soundly is silent. Mrs. Shwartz waits a few minutes after hearing not a sound from the parrot and opens the freezer to find the parrot sitting in a corner staring back at her.
And the parrot says, “What did the chicken do?”
Here is alink from a TED conference with a brilliant talking parrot.
