Ice Skating on Bondi Beach

This Morning when I went down to Bondi beach to do some exercise I was greatly amused to see in middle of the beach set up was an outdoor ice skating rink. Being from Montreal and seeing an outdoor ice skating rink is a fairly common occurrence in the winter and not all to exciting. Observing one on Bondi beach did get my attention. I had notice them setting the rink up over the last few weeks but it didn’t quit take me until now that I sow the rink fully finished and operational.

The ice skating rink is part of the annual Bondi winter magic festival which runs for about a month. During the festival there are music and food events as any festival would have, as well as one day where they had some giant inflatable whale, a clothing swap and off course ice skating.

I guess it would be interesting to ice skate outdoors while hearing, seeing and smelling the ocean but would I pay over $20 for less than an hour of ice skating, mind you it’s not even a full size rink. In Montreal I can walk a 5 minutes from our home to where there is a full size ice hockey rink with free skating almost every afternoon.

So it got me thinking about what compels people to want to ice skate on Bondi beach. I mean after all your standing in a beautiful place with awesome surfing, swimming, coastal walks, and even scuba diving. “But no, we’ve got to ice skate!” I guess it is exciting to try new activities and have new experiences, for novelty. I’m sure there will be Australians who will ice skate there for the first time in their life, and perhaps last time, or maybe not for a decade. Maybe there are people who ice skate once a year, every year at this on the beach rink?

But here’s the thing; Is it enjoyable to go ice skating only one time? I’d say no, because you’d spend the time holding on to the walls around the rink, slipping and getting wet, and your feet most likely will be uncomfortable in some off the shelf rented pair of skates. It takes at least a few times to get the hang of skating before you can begin to enjoy it. You could feel good though by telling your friends that you’ve been ice skating

Perhaps the same with surfing. No one goes out the first time in their life with a surf board, catches a wave and has an incredible time. More likely they spend their times on the beach standing on the surfboard, then get in the water and end up with a few mouthfuls of salt as waves crash in their face.

Perhaps it’s like this with most things in life, it takes time to really begin to enjoy an activity. As time progresses and we continue in the practice it opens itself to us and we experience something new. Take skydiving; Plenty of people have been skydiving, though I’d say that ninety nine precent have probably gone once in their lifetime and did no as tandem jump. This means they were connected with a professional. But think about it, what would the experience be like to jump solo where it is just you out on your own and no instructor attached to you. It would be totally different.

The day you’re able to skate forward backwards comfortably around an ice rink and stop when you want, you will enjoy it more than the first time were you spent slipping around and falling, banging your knees, elbows, and wrists.

It’s the same thing when it comes to studying Torah and doing mitzvoth, it takes time to get into it, and the longer one goes the more exciting it gets. The first time you try and study through a page of Talmud will be a struggle. You may be trying to just stay on your feet but with time when you can go forwards, backwards, and stop whenever you want it will be a whole new experience.

Seeing a whale is a very exciting thing!

I went this week to a Marine Center on Bondi Beach (located in the Bondi Beach pavilion).  On the way in, the girl who works there (whose name is also Rachel!) mentioned that last weekend was the Whale Festival on Bondi Beach.  We were wondering what was going on there!

Anyway, I know Rabbi Ben has seen whales off the coast when doing the Bondi to Bronte walk, but I haven’t had the luck yet.  I’m really hoping that next time I go to Bondi Beach I’ll see a whale! Apparently the humpback whales migrate past Sydney between April and December. If you’re lucky in the winter you may even glimpse a Southern Right Whale off the Bondi coast.

If you are visiting Bondi Beach, you can take a whale watching tour

Anyway, at the marine center they said that a few days ago they saw a mother and baby whale right off of Bondi Beach – apparently they were there all day! I’m disappointed I missed it but I hope next time I am walking in Bondi Beach I will spot one.

Good luck spotting whales off of Bondi Beach – I know it happens a lot!

Travel puts a lot of strain on a person, at least when it is done as a lifestyle choice and not simply for a vacation (although sometimes vacations, too, can stress you out!).  Things are constantly going awry and a lot of the people and situations you encounter are just plain crazy.

I will be the first to admit that I have gotten angry while traveling.  And don’t let Rabbi Ben fool you – I’ve seen him get angry, too.  In fact, I’d wager a bet that if you spent enough time with any person on the planet eventually you would see them get angry about something.  It would probably happen even faster if you made them travel through third-world countries.

As proof of my ability to win this bet, I present to you this week’s parsha.  In it, we see the most modest and holy man to exist in Judaism, Moshe (Moses) himself get angry. We all know that Moshe is punished severely for hitting the rock instead of speaking to it. Rashi teaches that Moshe did this because he got angry.  He did initially speak to the rock, but it was the wrong rock. (There were a lot of rocks in those parts and he wasn’t quite sure which one G-d was referring to.)  The Jewish people were irate and provoking him and Moshe simply did not have the patience to go from rock to rock, speaking to each of them.  So Moshe got angry and hit the rock.

We learn in Judaism that there are four types of people when it comes to anger:

1. Quick to anger, slow to calm down
2. Quick to anger, quick to calm down
3. Slow to anger, slow to calm down
4. Slow to anger, quick to calm down

Notice that there is no option for “never getting angry.”  This is because Hashem knows our weaknesses, knows it is impossible to never get angry, and therefore does not expect it of us.  The worst kind of person is one who is quick to anger and slow to calm down. This person is always getting angry – and then they’ll bear a grudge! The best is the one who is slow to anger and quick to calm down.   This is the person who appears to “never” get angry – and when they do, they forgive very quickly and are likely to be upset with themselves for getting angry in the first place. It is this latter type of person we strive to emulate.  We should not set for ourselves the unattainable goal of “never” getting angry.  Instead, we should acknowledge that if even Moshe could get angry, we will too, at some point.

The most important thing to remember about anger is that it is an emotion, not an action.  We can’t always control the way we feel about something, our emotional response.  Moshe wasn’t punished for feeling angry.  What we can control is our reaction.  How do we respond when we feel angry? Do we shout and scream? Throw things? Get violent? The most dangerous thing about anger is that it makes us irrational and we lose control of our actions.  Moshe was punished because he got angry and struck the rock – his anger caused him to lose control of his actions and thus to disobey Hashem’s wishes.  This is exactly what happens when we get angry – we then lose control and do things we shouldn’t do.

Even when life throws us a curveball, when we’re given wrong directions, when we’ve been scammed by a salesperson or our taxi driver drops us off in the wrong part of town, we have to maintain control of our actions.  Even if we’re tired and hungry, our defenses down, we have to keep control of our actions.  And this is where the ability to control our anger comes in: if we can control our anger, if we can anger slowly and overcome it quickly, there is less chance of us doing anything rash and counter to what we ought to be doing.

In the coming week, let us work on controlling our anger – and our actions.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more about Parshas Chukas: Learning a New Type of Logic

Parshas Korach: The Wife in Judaism

I’ve learned that different cultures have different ways of viewing women.  I’ve seen women empowered. I’ve seen women held back. I’ve seen women who are able to hold top jobs, and those whose societies don’t even approve of them driving cars. I’ve traveled in places where the women expose everything (literally everything, in some parts of Europe!), and I’ve traveled in places (like Jordan) where they expose nothing.  I’ve traveled solo through South America without a problem, and been on my own in India, where a woman never travels without a chaperone (and experienced problems because of it).

So it always comes as a surprise when people, usually other Jews, comment to me that orthodox Judaism is “chauvinistic.”  I’ve been to enough places and seen enough in my life to feel that I have a pretty good perspective on the way women are treated in different cultures – and in my own.

Now, I chose to be observant (as every religious Jew ought to, every single day).  Each morning I wake up and I make a conscious decision of how to dress, how to act, what to eat – everything in my life is a choice, every day.  I could choose not to be a part of this lifestyle and community. But I choose to embrace it instead. Why would I, an avowed feminist, choose to be a religious Jew if it was chauvinistic?!

Obviously, I wouldn’t.  I choose Judaism for plenty of reasons, but a G-d who favors one sex to “dominate” or “subjugate” another wouldn’t make sense to me.   Judaism isn’t like that at all.  As a woman, Judaism gives me plenty of power, plenty of self-esteem, plenty of self-worth.

This parsha is a perfect example of the importance women play in our religion.  It may not seem so on the surface, but then again, most of religious Judaism isn’t learned at the “surface level.”  Of course, the parsha is named after a man, Korach, and he and Moshe (Moses) – men – are the “main characters.”  Yet, it is really the women in the story who are the responsible players; they are the driving force.  Without the actions of the women in this story, it would never have happened.  Most important to this story are the wives.

There are two wives we learn about both in the parsha and in its attendant midrash who teach us about the role of the wife in Judaism, her power, her responsibility, and her importance.  The first is Korach’s wife.  Korach wanted to rebel against Moshe.  His wife encouraged him, goading him on, telling him that Moshe’s “nepotism” wasn’t fair and that he (Korach, her beloved husband) is the very best and therefore deserves to be the leader. Without her encouragement and support, the rebellion against Moshe would never have happened.  This whole entire story comes down to the role of the woman behind the scenes.

But there’s another important wife in this story, and no, it isn’t Moshe’s.  It’s the wife of a man named O’ne ben Peles.  O’ne ben Peles was a follower of Korach, but unlike Korach, his wife didn’t support his rebelling against Moshe.  She tried everything to persuade him to give up this pursuit.  But when logical arguments (“Honey, whether Korach wins or Moshe does, you’ll still be only second best – you don’t stand to gain a thing from this!”) failed, she was willing to go to more drastic lengths. When time for the rebellion came, she got her hubby drunk and made sure he passed out.  Then she sat in her doorway with her hair uncovered, immodestly dressed so that Korach’s other cohorts couldn’t get past her to get in the house and take O’ne with them – they couldn’t even look at her.  She protected her husband using every avenue possible.  She knew this rebellion was bad business.

We learn from these two examples how important a wife really is.  Her support – or lack thereof – has a real impact not only on her marriage but  on her entire family.  Korach’s wife supported a bad endeavor and it brought about the downfall of his entire family.  (Not only the men, but their wives and children – even the infants – were killed in the rebellion.)  On the other hand, O’ne ben Peles’s wife’s wisdom saved her entire family.

We learn in Judaism that men are like conduits, pipelines that connect to creativity.  Men draw down ideas, but they need women to turn them into something.  Men need women to tell them what is a good idea and what is a bad idea.  Men were given an extra portion of chochma – knowledge – but women were given an extra portion of bina, wisdom.  And it is wisdom that enables women to determine if a thought or idea is a good one or a bad one.  It’s a big responsibility for a Jewish wife.

Of course, this means that it’s really important for men to listen to their wives (Rabbi Ben, are you listening??).  Men in Judaism are supposed to listen to the wisdom of their wives.  Wives are incredibly important – women have a vital role to play in Judaism.

So to all the ladies out there – remember to use your wisdom wisely this week! And to all the men – listen to the women in your lives!

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Korach: The Battle Between Ego and Self-Esteem

How to Do a Pidyon HaBen

If you have never been to a pidyon haben, the ceremony for the redemption of the firstborn, please watch this video to see what happens!