Parshas Shoftim: The Power of a Can-Do Attitude

How many of us achieve our dreams and our goals? Studies show that most people abandon a resolution within two weeks of making it. Some of this is just due to habit – it’s hard to create or break habits – but some of it is due to our attitude. Many times we simply do not reach our goals because in our minds we are thinking we will never reach them. And that simple thought undermines us and makes itself true – and in the process corrodes future optimism.

It’s easy to be a nay-sayer. It’s easy to look at any project, resolution, or goal and say, “Oh, it’s just not possible.” Even for Rabbis this is the case. It is very easy for a Rabbi to say “That’s not kosher” but much harder for a Rabbi to say, “Yes, it is kosher.” Saying “No” is easy because there are always a million and one things that could go wrong in every case. Saying “Yes” is difficult because it requires hard work, diligence, commitment, and deep thought.

In this week’s parsha, we are commanded to make a peaceful overture to our enemies before waging battle. Often, we barge head-on into conflict, our self-righteousness carrying us forward. But secretly we are thinking, “What is the point of making a peaceful overture they will never accept?” We simply expect that because we disagree, conflict is inevitable and attempts at resolution will fail. We do not approach our enemies with open hearts and open minds because ours, unfortunately, are already closed.

This is the real reason we give gifts on Purim. We are meant to give gifts not to our friends, but to those we are in conflict with. It is a way of making a peaceful overture while at the same time “saving face.” The fact is, most of the time if we make a peace offering the person we are at odds with will accept and return it. But we are too busy telling ourselves “it is not possible” to accept that it is not only possible, but it actually probable!

This is true not only in cases of conflict, but in every area of our lives. Whether it’s a dream, a goal, or a project, we can at least make a peaceful overture instead of waging a war on it. We can start making an effort to accomplish it and accompany it with the message of “Yes, I can!” If we can do this, we will undoubtedly be surprised by the amount of success we have.

Shabbat Shalom!

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Parshas Re’eh: What Sets Israel Apart

Isn’t it interesting how we fear those who are different?  Think back to primary school – who was the kid who got picked on the most?  It was not the most “average” kid. It was the person who stood out the most.  Perhaps it was the only obese child in the class.  Maybe it was the one who was poorest, with shirts showing holes at the elbows, and no lunch money.  Maybe it was the girl who was too tall or the boy who was too short.

As we grow up, not much changes.  Xenophobia (fear of immigrants) is alive and well in many places.  If someone shows up who does not look like us, think like us, or act like us, we immediately become suspicious.  It is harder for them to fit in.  And this actually makes a lot of sense because historically, someone who was “different” often was a threat.  A drunk Russian soldier in the synagogue spelled trouble for the Jews, just as a sly Frenchman was not trusted in the medieval British court.

So it should come as no surprise that Israel has many detractors in the world today. Israel is different from all the other countries in the Middle East.  The Middle East is made up of 16 countries, 15 of which are Muslim.  Israel is the only country in the Mideast that is not under Arabic rule and which features true democracy.  Israel is the only country in the Middle East where Muslims, Christians, and even Jews can live freely without fears of constant persecution.

This freedom is not just because Israel boasts of the only democracy in the region.  It is because Israel is a Jewish state.  And as Jews, freedom is part of our spiritual makeup.

In this week’s parsha, G-d says to us: “See, I have set before you today life and good, death and evil … I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse.” Yet, surely G-d has the power to force us to do good.  He could make it so that any punishment for any sin would come immediately.  If we Jews knew that if we ate non-kosher food we would G-d forbid die right away, we would all certainly be keeping kosher!

However, this is not what G-d did.  G-d laid out for us a choice: we can choose to do good or we can choose to do evil. We can choose to do one or the other… or a little bit of both.  We have freedom.

That freedom, more than anything else, is what sets Israel apart from all other nations in the Middle East.  A woman in Saudi Arabia cannot choose to wear what she wants. A man in Gaza cannot choose to speak publicly in support of Israel.  To do either of these things will bring about swift reprisals from the ruling factions.  But in Israel a woman can wear what she chooses, even if it’s not really the right, Torah, thing to do.  In Israel a man can speak out in support of giving away the land of Israel to Palestinians even if what they say may go against the Torah.  In Israel there is freedom to choose what and who you want to be.  And that, ultimately, is what sets Israel apart.

Shabbat shalom!

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It’s Tisha B’Av and I’m Scared

This morning I woke up and the first thing I wanted was a nice, hot shower.  It’s the dead of winter and with extreme lows and our heating off, I’m freezing.  I have a cold.  A nice, hot shower would be the very best thing I can imagine right now. But no hot showers for me, no way!  Because as soon as the thought of a hot shower crossed my mind, the realization that Tisha B’Av starts tomorrow night hit me like a slap in the face.  Here we are in the 9 days leading up to Tisha B’Av – how can I even think of taking a pleasant hot shower now?

These past few weeks have been harrowing for me.  The war going on in Israel has placed an ice cold shard of fear in my heart.  Those are not just people living there! They are my family!  And they are under attack.  Tisha B’Av and the 3 week mourning period leading up to it has never been more real for me – except once.

It was actually exactly 7 years ago that I first met Rabbi Ben, during this same 9 day period leading up to Tisha B’Av.  I was traveling in Peru, only I hadn’t considered the Jewish calendar until after I’d booked my holiday there.  I had a tightly packed schedule and not much wiggle room.  I had to be in Lima on certain days and in Machu Picchu on one day in particular.  With chagrin I realized that erev Tisha B’Av was my one and only day to visit the world wonder.  I planned to visit the mountain’s cafe and guzzle as much water as I could hold just before sunset but alas, the shop was closed when I got there.

That Tisha B’Av was destined to be hard, as I didn’t have a meal or good drink beforehand, but had instead spent the entire day hiking from sunrise to sunset.  But that’s not what makes it stand out in my mind, oh no!  While hiking I had met a group of friendly Chileans and decided to travel back to Cuzco with them that night.  My hotel in Aguas Calientes had tried to cheat me and I didn’t want to stay there another night – better to travel straight back to Cuzco.

However, when we boarded the bus, it was immediately clear that the driver had been drinking. Heavily.  Many of the passengers complained but the bus lurched into motion anyway – with me on it! It was only then that I remembered with a shock that I was actually traveling on Tisha B’Av.  The bus swayed along a narrow road and as I looked out the window I could see straight down the side of a steep cliff.  The reality of my situation was that I was staring death in the face and I was terrified.  I began davening with more kavanah than I ever have in my entire life.  Tisha B’Av was upon us.  The tragedy of the Jewish people now became my tragedy personally and I could feel the fear of life and death that reminds us of our mourning for the Temple and all we have lost.

Fortunately my prayers were answered and as the bus lurched into the next town, the police stopped it (due to the banging on windows and screaming from passengers) and made the driver dry out before sending us on our way.  But I will never forget the feeling of abject fear as I realized this was no ordinary day. This was Tisha B’Av and it was, literally and figuratively, a black one.

Now more than ever we must recognize the reality of Tisha B’Av that we are facing. Is the timing of these terrorist attacks on our people a coincidence? Of course not.  It is Tisha B’Av! Time to wake up!  We are in a period of intense mourning now and we should feel that now more than ever.

It is Tisha B’Av and I’m scared. There are no two ways about it.  As the dreaded day draws nearer and I hear reports of soldiers killed (one whose wife gave birth just after he was killed, another who was engaged to be married in 3 months) and of a soldier kidnapped, I literally shiver.  If this is what happens to us in the 3 weeks, if this is what happens to us in the 9 days, what will happen to us when Tisha B’Av actually arrives?

What we must do – the ONLY thing we can do – is to increase our teshuva. Increase our prayers. Give extra tzedaka.  Work hard, so very hard, on rectifying the sin of sinas chinam that brought us to this point.  Remember, at the siege of Jerusalem it was not the Romans who defeated the Jews – it was the Jews who defeated the Jews. There was food and water enough for 7 years but it was destroyed by the Jews fighting one another.  Now that we are under siege again – this time in the form of all of Israel – we must not destroy ourselves by fighting one another.  Reach out, love your fellow Jews, and please show as much support for our brothers and sisters in the Holy Land as you possibly can!

Here are some ideas for some good charities if you want to give tzedaka:

Friends of the IDF - support the soldiers who protect us

Neve Yerushalayim – support women learning Torah

Aish HaTorah – support men and women learning Torah

Chabad.org – support people worldwide learning Torah online

Karmey Chesed – support families and soldiers in need

Keren Hashviis – support farmers keeping Shmitta year in Israel (with rocket attacks harder than ever!)

If you are a US citizen, please contact your senators to thank them personally for their continued support of Israel! The US Senate recently approved additional funding for Iron Dome in Israel!  If we all write to express our gratitude for their support, they will give even more support!

Wishing you all an easy fast this Tish B’Av and praying that Hashem should have mercy on us and send us Moshiach soon!