Parshas Vayakhel-Pekudei: Finding Our Mission in Life

For some reason, finding one’s “mission in life,” or one’s” purpose in life” has come up in conversation a lot over the past few months.  I remember sitting and talking to my friend Mia about it for hours, and Rabbi Ben brought it up to me this week.  It also cropped up in a book I’m currently reading, given to me by a friend.  It must be pretty important if everybody’s talking about it.

When I asked Rabbi Ben about it, he said our purpose in life is to do mitzvos and to follow the Torah.  Well, obviously this is what G-d wants us to be doing. But is it our mission?

Judaism embraces the concept of a “tikkun.”  Tikkun is the work we must do in the world, and can refer both to our own self-improvements and to the accomplishments we’re aiming for.  So maybe our purpose as Jews is to keep the Torah… but our tikkun as individuals is as varied and unique as a fingerprint.

Interestingly, in this week’s parsha, we see some people discovering some hidden talents, some of their missions in life.  As the parsha says, “Every man whose heart inspired him came…” which the Ramban teaches refers to the weavers and carpenters who built the mishkan (tabernacle).  They were very talented at their crafts, which required fine skills. Yet, how did these lowly Hebrew slaves, who previously had done nothing more crafty than making bricks out of straw, know how to do these things?  The Ramban answers that they were divinely inspired: G-d Himself gave them the skills to be able to do things they had never learned.

We also have lots of G-d given talents and abilities, but how many of them do we find?  How often do we balk at trying something new? How often do we limit ourselves instead of pushing ourselves to the next level?

In the book I’m reading, God Winked by Sara Yocheved Rigler, the author shares some good advice from Rabbi Aryeh Nivin on how to identify your life’s mission:

• Ask yourself: “What were the five or ten most pleasurable moments in my life?”
• Ask yourself: If I inherited a billion dollars and had six hours a day of discretionary time, what would I do with the time and money?”

One of your most pleasurable moments may have been when you did something small, like climbing a hill – but if you had all that time and money, you would climb Mt. Everest (I know that’s what Rabbi Ben would do!).  You’ve limited yourself. But if G-d has given you a talent and an aptitude for doing a certain thing, then maybe that’s your mission in life – and if you limit yourself, you will never achieve your potential.

This week, let’s all work on achieving our full potential and working toward our life missions!

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Vayakhel-Pekudei: Building a Home for Hashem

Traveling or Backpacking with a Baby or an Infant: Packing: Pacifiers (or Dummies or Binkies or Soothers)

It seems like most babies, infants, and toddlers today are using pacifiers (known in other countries as dummies, binkies, or soothers).  And no wonder they’re popular! Babies love to suck and a pacifier gives them something other than mommy to suck on, so they get all the good-feeling hormones without mommy needing to keep baby constantly attached to the breast.

When he was a newborn, we could sometimes get Akiva to take a dummy (or pacifier)... but most of the time he didn't like it much!

Our Akiva had terrible colic for the first two months of his life, so we were willing to try just about anything to get him to calm down and maybe even go to sleep!  Of course we tried offering him a pacifier, but the majority of the time he would not take it. He never seemed to like it much and eventually we gave up offering it to him. (He was happy with a boob or a bottle, though – as long as something actually came out of it!)

So when we travel we don’t have to worry about packing dummies or pacifiers.  But it seems, in my experience, that most people do.

So, how many pacifiers (dummies/binkies/soothers) to pack?

Friends who travelled with a baby told me they started out with five.  After three weeks of travel they had two or three left (they said they had three but one was “missing”… they still hoped to find it!)  So, I would say that if you are normally vigilant, you should pack one pacifier (dummy/binky/soother) per week of travel, plus a couple extra for a buffer zone.

Of course, this also depends on where you travel and what kind of pacifier you use. It also depends on the age of your child.  A newborn or very young infant with a dummy clipped to them on a dummy chain is unlikely to lose very many pacifiers.  However, having an active child above the age of about seven months means you’re running the risk of having the “toss it out, get mommy to pick it up” game be played with the pacifier.  And babies and toddlers who are strong enough will be able to remove most dummy chains.  My friends told me that one of their pacifiers was lost when their daughter tossed it over the edge of a cliff while they were hiking.

Remember, if you use a standard pacifier you can probably replace it easily in many parts of the world. However, in developing countries, they are not so prevalent and so can be more difficult to locate. Similarly, in rural areas or off-the-map places, like hiking and trekking destinations or local villages, you could be stuck without a pacifier if your last one gets lost.

Furthermore, some people use a specific shape or type of dummy or pacifier.  If you or your baby are particular about this, don’t count on finding your specific type when you travel. It might be available; it might not!

So, how does one keep from losing dummies and pacifiers while traveling?

The most obvious answer is not to bring them in the first place! If you’re planning on weaning your child off the pacifier, you might consider doing so before the trip.  On the other hand, with moving from place to place and unfamiliar sleeping situations, you might decide to wait.

Dummy or pacifier chains are a great idea – if your baby won’t remove them!  Most babies are able to pull these things off once they hit a certain age.  My nine-month-old can remove a bib and he can remove a dummy clip, too.  So they might not work.  You can consider allowing your little one to choose a “special” dummy chain (there are many fancy ones available online) if he or she is old enough.  Or you can try to find one that won’t come off so easily, but I have not found one yet.  If you find an ingenious design or one that doesn’t come off, please do let me know!

Other than those ideas, I don’t know of any way to keep a pacifier from getting lost. Everyone I know who has kids who use them constantly complain of lost dummies, so I take it that losing pacifiers is a common occurrence at the best of times.  That’s why my best advice is just to bring lots of extras with you when you travel!

Good luck and safe travels!

Traveling or Backpacking with a Baby or an Infant: Packing: Why You Don’t Need to Pack Toys

In yesterday’s post I explained how to decide why toy (or toys) to pack.  But what happens if they get lost? Do you even need to bring toys with you in the first place?

The truth is that you don’t really need to bring toys for your baby with you when you travel.

Babies will play with almost anything and find it fun. These guys playing music shared a maraca with Akiva. Akiva, however, was just as happy playing with the empty guitar case on the floor!

The whole world is new and exciting for babies, so almost anything can be a fascinating and fun toy.  Older babies, toddlers, and children are already developing healthy imaginations, so they can turn anything they find into something else.  I remember picking leaves off of holly bushes as a young child and imagining they were flying foxes.  I could pick a couple of choice leaves and play with them for hours, anywhere.

When you pack your own stuff, stop and take a moment to evaluate what could be good and safe toys for your baby.  Our baby, for instance, loves playing with the case for my husband’s toothbrush.  It’s long and hollow, with rounded ends, and he enjoys banging it on anything.  There’s no need to bring a plush ball or stuffed animal if you have a pair of socks you can ball up or stuff full. (If you don’t mind, you can even paint faces on the front of your socks and use them as impromptu sock puppets!)  I’m sure that as you go through the things you’re packing anyway, you’ll find quite a few objects that can serve as safe and entertaining toys.

Remember, if you’re traveling and you feel like your child needs a toy to play with, for whatever reason, toys are available universally.  People all over the world have babies and buy them toys, although they might be different to what you find at home! In Thailand and Burma I found plenty of play mats for sale – exactly the same ones I could get back home in Australia or America.  In India I found that most little shops sold mini toy auto-rickshaws for kids, rather than cars, but your kids will enjoy them just the same.

Often, Akiva was more excited to play with a balloon given to him by a vendor in a market than with any actual "toy."

Not only that, but almost anything you encounter in your travels can become a toy for your baby.  I found that disposable plastic cups were a favourite of our baby.  He liked to crinkle them up and listen to the sounds, or to chew on them, or to pretend to drink from them.  He spent far more hours playing with plastic disposable cups during our travels than he did playing with Sophie, the toy giraffe we had brought for him. (Of course, Sophie did serve a purpose – when our Akiva was feeling overwhelmed by all the activity going on around him, he could always pick her up and focus on her… but this purpose could be served by just about anything.)

Also, many times people will give your baby toys as you travel.  Once, walking through a market with a fussy baby, a vendor I was buying some fruit from spontaneously blew up a small balloon for him. He was so happy with the bright red balloon that he stopped crying. Other times, we’d stay in a guesthouse that would find toys for us to use while we were there.

So there is really no need to bring toys with you as you travel or backpack around.  For babies and small children, anything can become a toy!

Happy travels!

Traveling or Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: What Toy(s) to Bring (or Not!)

Our son Akiva with Sophie, his toy giraffe. Notice the dummy or pacifier chain attached to her, which can easily be attached to clothing or to his stroller, pram, or carrier.

If you are planning to go backpacking or traveling with your baby or infant, you might be wondering what to pack.  One of the most obvious things you’re going to be wondering about packing are your baby’s toys.  After all, your baby plays with them all the time at home! What if she is attached to one (or more) of her toys?  And anyhow, how will you entertain her on long flights, waits in airports, or bus rides? You obviously need to bring toys with you!

Ok, so the next question is: How many toys to bring? I suggest only bringing one or two. Yes, only one or two.  Toys don’t serve any other purpose except for your baby to play with.  They are extra weight to carry, they take up valuable packing space, and they are easily lost.  So it’s better to bring as few as possible with you when you travel – if you bring any at all!

What toys should I bring? Well, this is the harder part: deciding which one or two toys are going to come with you.  Rule number one for choosing a toy to bring is: how easily can it be replaced?  This is especially true if your child is very attached to the toy.  Babies will often toss toys out of strollers, or they can easily be left behind on a bus or plane.  Don’t count on holding onto any toy through your whole trip.  If it’s still with you at the end, count it as a bonus, not as something to be expected.

How big is it and how much does it weigh? My goal when packing is always to keep weight to the bare minimum.  It doesn’t matter whether I’m backpacking or traveling with a suitcase – either way, it’s easier to transport something light than to lug along something weighing as much as a baby elephant.  I also find it easier to transport something smaller.  Just because I can get an enormous suitcase doesn’t mean I should! Carrying a smaller bag is always easier to manage and manoeuvre.  So perhaps don’t decide to pack that big set or blocks.

How expensive is it & does it look expensive? Bought for your baby’s entertainment or not, bringing an iPad along when you travel makes you an instant target for thieves.  They know an iPad is expensive and you’re already distracted fussing over your child, so half the work is done for them.  If you do decide to bring something obviously expensive along for your child’s enjoyment, make sure you take out travel insurance to cover it.

Akiva with a little Burmese friend. Because Sophie was clipped to his pram, his little friend could also enjoy playing with her, without any worry that she might "run away."

For our backpacking purposes, we chose to bring with us a rubber toy giraffe named Sophie.  She’s small enough to be unobtrusive, large enough not to be so easily misplaced, and available just about everywhere.  She’s also very lightweight, as she is made of hollow rubber.  Fortunately, a friend had given us a duplicate Sophie at some point, so we even had our backup waiting for us at home.

Once you’ve decided what toy to bring with you, you have to come up with a way not to lose it.  At least you want to hold onto it as long as possible! We tied a string around Sophie’s neck and superglued the knots so they wouldn’t slip.  Then we used an old dummy (or pacifier) chain.  Our baby won’t take a pacifier, but we had an extra chain around that my parents had gotten us back when we were trying to get him to use it.  So we attached it, not to a dummy, but to Sophie, and were then able to clip her onto just about anything without losing her!

I hope you have found these tips useful in your packing.  Traveling or backpacking with a baby or infant is not as difficult as it seems if only you know where to start!

Happy travels!

Visiting Tennyson Dunes in South Australia

Adventuring Akiva crawling through the sand at Tennyson Dunes, South Australia

Last week we went to Tennyson Dunes in South Australia.  Just a half an hour away from Adelaide, it is the last remaining example of pristine dunes on the Adelaide coast.  Most of the dunes that were originally there have been destroyed by buildings, which I think is quite sad.  It is a unique ecosystem that is pretty much gone now because humans wanted to have nice views of the ocean from their fancy homes.  Now, I would love to have such a view of the ocean – but I’d like to have the dunes in front of it, the way G-d made it!

Rabbi Ben playing with Akiva at Tennyson Dunes, Adelaide, South Australia

Anyway, this was a beautiful place to visit.  The dunes are really well preserved, although apparently the people who support it have had to plant spiky plants at the edges of the dunes to keep people out of them.  It meant we had to watch Akiva very carefully as he went adventuring!  But the dunes were really beautiful.

Because you have to hike through the dunes to get to the ocean, the beach is not very highly trafficked.  While we were there, we saw one or two locals walking their dogs and one woman walking the paths through the dunes.  The beach was practically deserted!  It was wonderful to have the place to ourselves.

Unfortunately, it got quite windy and we were not able to enjoy it properly due to the blowing sand.  This is a hazard with any beach on a windy day.  But the beach by the Tennyson Dunes was spectacular and I really look forward to visiting it again some day and getting a chance to take a longer wander through the dunes.  If you’re in South Adelaide, check it out!

The pristine beach and dunes at Tennyson Dunes, Adelaide, South Australia, with not a person in sight!