Parshas Emor: Getting Angry at G-d

Have you ever gotten angry at G-d?  Maybe everything in your life was just going wrong.  You lost a loved one or you were seriously injured… or maybe it was just a lot of little things piling up. Maybe you were just discontent with the way life was going.

I remember once I got really angry at Hashem.  I remember raising up my hands and shouting at Him, “Hashem why are you doing this to me?! Why are you treating me this way?”  I just could not believe that He, who supposedly loves me so much, could be so mean.

I think most people have felt anger at G-d in their lives. If it wasn’t over something that happened to them, then it was over something that happened to someone else.  I have met many people in my travels who have told me they are angry with G-d about the Shoah (Holocaust).  What happened just makes them so sick that they are angry at G-d – and sometimes cannot find a way to forgive Him.

In this week’s parsha, we encounter a man who gets so angry he actually curses G-d.  As a result, he is taken out and stoned to death.  But if almost all of us get angry at G-d sometimes, why such a harsh punishment? Are we not allowed to be angry with Him?  After all, He is the one who failed to give us the understanding and insight into His plans. He is the one who limited us. And He is the one who is bringing suffering onto us. So why shouldn’t we be angry with Him sometimes?

The answer when it comes to getting angry is the same no matter who or what has upset you. I have addressed the topic of anger before (in posts on Parshas Chukas and Parshas Toldos).  The Torah does not expect you to never get angry, but it does expect you to control how you express that anger.

Cursing G-d just is not an acceptable way to handle our anger with Him.  If we are angry at G-d, we need to recognize that this is a call from Him to dig deeper into ourselves.  It shows we do not have sufficient emunah (faith) and bitachon (trust) in Him to know that everything He does is for our own good.  It also shows that we must work to control our anger (see links above).  But not only does it show that our emunah and bitachon are lacking, the individual circumstance of our situation should teach us something else about ourselves. Perhaps we are so arrogant that we expect to understand G-d’s ways and are upset when we cannot. Perhaps we need to give more charity or do more chesed (acts of lovingkindness) for others.

It is okay to feel angry or upset with Hashem sometimes, as long as we recognize that the defects are actually within ourselves.  If that is how we handle the situation, then we show that we are bigger than our anger.  We can choose to overcome our emotions.  We are in control, not the animal inside us.

But if we stoop to cursing G-d we lower ourselves.  We have not only totally missed the point and failed to get the message G-d was sending us, but we are also committing another sin.  G-d spoke the world into existence. He blew life into us with His divine breath.  And yet we are using our breath to speak evil words at Him.  We would not even exist if not for His great mercy and instead of gratitude, we curse Him using the same mechanism by which He gave us this great gift.  It’s not really just one additional sin, it’s many.

In this coming week, let us all work on controlling our anger, both with G-d and with anyone and anything else.  Even if we feel angry, let us look inside ourselves and figure out why G-d is letting this incident happen to us, or allowing this person to treat us in this undesirable way. In this way, we can spiritually elevate ourselves.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Emor

Parshas Achrei Mot-Kedoshim & Yom Hatzmaut: Celebrating Israel

An Israeli flag flies on top of Masada, with the Dead Sea in the background

This week we’d like to wish a happy 65^th birthday to someone near and dear to all our hearts: Israel. Yom Hatzmaut, Israeli Independence Day, fell this week, and although we could not be in Israel to celebrate it with her, we have all celebrated in our hearts.

The land of Israel is special and important to all of us as Jews. It is the land G-d told our forefather Abraham He would give to him and his descendants, us. And indeed He did, after our escape from Egypt and our wanderings in the desert. But unfortunately, Israel did not remain in Jewish hands for long. We were exiled from our homeland and scattered across the world.

Today, we have returned to the land of Israel. This tiny sliver of a country – just the size of New Jersey in the United States – is the place we have to call home. No matter what may happen to us in other parts of the world, Israel will always welcome us with open arms into her motherly hug.

We Jews have a special relationship with the land. We turn to face it when we pray and every time we pray, we remember how we long to return there. And indeed, Jews began returning to the land of Israel since just a century after the destruction of the Second Temple. Now, with the establishment of the State of Israel, it has become safer to return than ever before, and Jews have been flocking there by the hundreds of thousands.

In this week’s parsha, G-d prepares the Jewish people to enter the land of Israel. He admonishes the Jews not to behave like the Egyptians (who raised them) or like the Canaanites (who then inhabited the land of Israel). Instead, G-d expects the Jewish people to behave and act differently, better. He provides a guide for proper social interaction in the form of His Torah. By juxtaposing this commandment with commandments against things like bestiality, improper relationships, and idol worship, G-d is highlighting the differences between the Jews and the outside world.

In today’s society, unfortunately, not much has changed from the Egyptian and Canaanite societies of old. Instead of idols we worship money, and improper relationships are flaunted or even encouraged. It is our job as Jews to stand out and behave differently. Each and every one of us can be a light unto the world.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Kedoshim

Read more on What to Say to a Jewish Mourner on Yom Ha’atzmaut

Parshas Tazria Metzora: Tzaraas: Sometimes a Bad Thing Can Be a Good Thing

This week’s Torah portion speaks about various physical blemishes and conditions which can afflict a person.  The tzaraas, which is commonly translated as “leprosy” is not really a physical malady at all, but rather a spiritual one.  From the sages we learn that it comes about as the result of evil speech, or lashon hara, and afflicts not just his body, but his clothing and his house as well.

The Talmud, in the tractate Negaim, which deals with these types of blemishes and conditions, notes that “a person sees all kinds of blemishes except for their own.”  Although being afflicted with tzaraas was undeniably something we would want to avoid, it is not necessarily a good thing that we do not experience it today.  Tzaraas was G-d’s way of showing people the error of their ways and giving them the opportunity to correct and improve themselves.

The Midrash relates that Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel asked his servant, Tavi, to buy him something good from the market. The servant returned with some tongue. Rabbi Shimon then asked his servant to buy something bad from the market. The servant returned with more tongue. “How can this be? I asked you to buy something good, you bought tongue; I asked you to buy something bad, you also bought tongue?” Replied Tavi, “It has good and bad. When it is good, it has a lot of goodness. When it is bad, it is very bad.”

Thus we see that our tongues and our mouths have incredible power.  We can use them to do incredible good, but all too often we use them for bad, too.  We speak badly of others or eagerly spread juicy gossip.  In essence, it is best to stick to the mandate, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Indeed, Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel taught, ”I grew up my entire life amongst scholars, and I did not find anything as beneficial to the body as silence; action is the main thing, not talk, and whoever speaks too much will bring sin [upon himself].” In the words of King Solomon, “Even a fool is considered a wise man if he remains silent.”  The more we speak, the more likely it is that we will stumble and accidentally begin to speak badly.

This week, let us all work on reducing the amount of lashon hara we speak.  This requires intense concentration on what we are saying. We must carefully watch our words.  It is a good start to pick one hour during the day and to work on not speaking badly during that one hour.  Then we can expand that hour to include two or three, until we become accustomed to being fully conscious of and in control of our speech. In this way, perhaps, we will earn the right not to need tzaraas anymore.

Shabbat shalom!

Parshas Vayikra: Ignorance of the Law is No Excuse

One of the trickiest things about travel is that every new place has its own laws.  Often, laws in different countries vary wildly.  In Australia, not only must you keep your child in a car seat until the age of seven, but the car seat must be “properly installed” – meaning, they want you to hire a professional to put it in your car!  But in other countries, like Thailand or India, car seats are virtually unheard of.  Not only do you not need a car seat for your child, but you can take your child – of any age, even new-born – on a motorcycle with you… without a helmet!

Of course, it’s up to the traveller to apprise themselves of the laws of the new place they’ll be visiting.  Are you allowed to make a right turn on a red light in the state you’re driving through when you’re on your American road trip? Are you allowed to use a radar detector? What about talking on your mobile phone – are you even allowed to touch it?  And those are just basic laws pertaining to cars.  Yet, the law touches every aspect of our lives and we are obligated to know about it and follow it, even if we are just visitors.

The same is true in Judaism.  Ignorance of the law is no excuse.  We are held accountable for our sins even if we commit them purely because we did not know it was a sin.  Perhaps we never heard that we are not allowed to cook on the Sabbath, or we did not know that what we were doing qualified as cooking. Or we simply did not know that it was the Sabbath in the first place.  Of course, had we known, we would not have done the sin.  But in not knowing, we are held responsible – it was up to us to learn the laws of keeping the Sabbath, and it was up to us to keep track of the days of the week.

In this week’s parsha there is a whole series of offerings described for unintentional sins.  Intentional sins are those we mean to do and involuntary sins are those we are forced to do.  Unintentional sins fall right in the middle, the gap between the two extremes.  For intentional sins sacrifice as atonement is generally not an option and for involuntary sins it is unnecessary, but for unintentional sins an offering will bring atonement.

You see, even unintentional sins cause a blemish upon the soul.  According to Nachmanides (Ramban), just as unintentionally brushing past a spot of grease leaves a stain on a shirt, so too does our inadvertent brush with sin stain us spiritually.  The sacrifice atones for the spiritual stain.

Not only that, but a sacrifice, which generally caused hardship to offer, reminds the person not to sin again in the future, cautions Abarbanel.  We must learn to be more careful, to look before we leap.  Furthermore, making a sacrifice gives one pause for introspection.  According the Ba’al Shem Tov, anything we see is meant to teach us a lesson.  How much more so are we to learn a lesson from our mistake, especially if the punishment for it is so severe!

Finally, notes Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson, G-d would not even have allowed us to commit such a sin accidentally if it did not reflect a bigger failing on our part spiritually.  G-d does not allow even the animals of the righteous to sin, and protects the righteous man himself from sinning, even accidentally.  If we do not merit this protection, it means we need to improve and work on ourselves.

This year, when you learn about the animal sacrifices, look beyond the apparent brutality of it, or the sense that such activities have become obsolete.  Look deeper into the meaning and you will see that even today we still have much to learn from them.

Shabbat shalom.

Read more on Parshas Vayikra: The Inner Sacrifice

Parshas Vayakhel-Pekudei: Finding Our Mission in Life

For some reason, finding one’s “mission in life,” or one’s” purpose in life” has come up in conversation a lot over the past few months.  I remember sitting and talking to my friend Mia about it for hours, and Rabbi Ben brought it up to me this week.  It also cropped up in a book I’m currently reading, given to me by a friend.  It must be pretty important if everybody’s talking about it.

When I asked Rabbi Ben about it, he said our purpose in life is to do mitzvos and to follow the Torah.  Well, obviously this is what G-d wants us to be doing. But is it our mission?

Judaism embraces the concept of a “tikkun.”  Tikkun is the work we must do in the world, and can refer both to our own self-improvements and to the accomplishments we’re aiming for.  So maybe our purpose as Jews is to keep the Torah… but our tikkun as individuals is as varied and unique as a fingerprint.

Interestingly, in this week’s parsha, we see some people discovering some hidden talents, some of their missions in life.  As the parsha says, “Every man whose heart inspired him came…” which the Ramban teaches refers to the weavers and carpenters who built the mishkan (tabernacle).  They were very talented at their crafts, which required fine skills. Yet, how did these lowly Hebrew slaves, who previously had done nothing more crafty than making bricks out of straw, know how to do these things?  The Ramban answers that they were divinely inspired: G-d Himself gave them the skills to be able to do things they had never learned.

We also have lots of G-d given talents and abilities, but how many of them do we find?  How often do we balk at trying something new? How often do we limit ourselves instead of pushing ourselves to the next level?

In the book I’m reading, God Winked by Sara Yocheved Rigler, the author shares some good advice from Rabbi Aryeh Nivin on how to identify your life’s mission:

• Ask yourself: “What were the five or ten most pleasurable moments in my life?”
• Ask yourself: If I inherited a billion dollars and had six hours a day of discretionary time, what would I do with the time and money?”

One of your most pleasurable moments may have been when you did something small, like climbing a hill – but if you had all that time and money, you would climb Mt. Everest (I know that’s what Rabbi Ben would do!).  You’ve limited yourself. But if G-d has given you a talent and an aptitude for doing a certain thing, then maybe that’s your mission in life – and if you limit yourself, you will never achieve your potential.

This week, let’s all work on achieving our full potential and working toward our life missions!

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Vayakhel-Pekudei: Building a Home for Hashem

Parshas Ki Tisa: Parshas Parah: Taking the Bull by the Horns

We have a bull living in our house.  Our Adventuring Akiva was born with the bull as his star sign (Taurus).  Although we do not believe the mazal (fate) of Jews is dictated by the stars, we do believe that certain personality traits and characteristics can be read in the stars based on when we are born.

The stars are “closer” in a way to shemayim (heaven), which may be why we look up at them and call them “the heavens.”  But as a result, when our mazal comes down to this world, we can read it first in the stars.  As Jews we definitely believe in astrology, just not as it’s practiced today by all the charlatan out there.  But also as Jews we are forbidden from having our fortunes told, for a number of reasons I won’t go into here lest I digress.  Yet, we definitely do know certain basics, such as that certain character traits tend to be associated with birth during certain Hebrew months.

So, we have a bull living in our midst.  And he really is a little bull.  Sometimes I think he exemplifies the “bull in a china shop” phrase because he has a knack for getting into and destroying everything just because he is so enthusiastic about exploring it (although maybe that’s all babies!).  Nevertheless, I often look down as him and think that as he crawls around, he even looks like a bull.  He is so solidly built!  He’s also got the persistence of a bull – no matter how many times I try to distract him or take him away from something he shouldn’t have, he will always continue to go after it, whether he has to climb over, under, around, or through something else to get to it!

But of course, bulls are also famous for something else: their anger.  In sports involving bulls, it is always their anger that is exploited.  In bullfights, red capes are flashed before him to make him angry. And there wouldn’t be much point to a rodeo if the bull wasn’t so angry about having a person sitting on him!

In the Torah, anger is equated to idol worship.  When we become angry, we are in essence coming to worship our own egos.  We become angry when things just don’t go the way we think they should.  I think that driver should let me in when I signal but instead he cuts me off – I get angry.I spend hours cleaning and then my kids run through with muddy shoes – I get angry.  I spend hours putting together an elaborate cake and then my oven goes bonkers and it burns up – I get angry.  It’s all about what I think should happen, but then doesn’t happen.  It’s all about me and my ego.

So it should come as no surprise that the Jews came to worship the Golden Calf.  In essence, they are worshipping themselves.  In fact, it is the “erev rav,” the “mixed multitude” who were the ones actually worshipping the Golden Calf.  You see, when the Jews came out of Egypt, they didn’t come alone. There were a lot of hangers-on who followed after them.  It is they whom the sages blame for the idol worship.  Yet, it isn’t that easy to simply dismiss them because the “mixed multitude” was mixed, after all – mixed with us!  We couldn’t just point and say, “Those guys over there are to blame” because they were mixed in with all the Jews.  The erev rav symbolizes something much deeper – it symbolizes that part of us known as the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, that is mixed up inside of us, and which cannot always be distinguished.  And what is the main vehicle of the yetzer hara? You guessed it – the ego!

No wonder G-d was so upset when He found us worshipping the Golden Calf.  G-d’s responses are always just, and always measure for measure.  So fitting that he would become angry when he sees the Golden Calf being worshipped just after He has revealed Himself and raised us all to the level of angels.  How quickly we rose and how quickly we fell.  We just could not withstand the lure of caving in to our own egos.

But if the Jews who stood at Sinai could not maintain control over their own egos for even 40 days and nights, despite being at the level of angels, how can we expect to do any better? The answer is, we can’t.  We are flawed, weak human beings, but we have got one thing angels haven’t got: the ability to better ourselves.  To totally conquer our egos, we must abnegate our selfish, limited wills to the ultimate and supreme Will of our Creator.  The antidote to the Golden Calf is in our hands: the Torah.  It is up to us to take the steps, one at a time, to follow it more closely.  To decide that today we will not eat that forbidden food, we will not drive this Shabbat, and we will offer to help our enemy who is struggling to carry a heavy load.  Because all of these things require us to push our own egos down and, instead, to focus on becoming closer to the Divine.

So this week, think of at least one thing you can do to turn your ego down a notch and your closeness to G-d up.  Will it be a change in what you eat? What you wear? What you say?  We all have the power to stop the erev rav within us from worshipping the Golden Calf, if only we will try.

Shabbat shalom!