Parshas Yisro: Blessing G-d for Miracles

Yesterday I encountered so many miracles I can’t even count them.

Akiva at the Myanmar (Burmese) border

It wasn’t such an extraordinary day, really.  I had to take Akiva on the long bus journey from where we are staying in Thailand to the northernmost border, then cross into Burma and come back again.  Backpacking or traveling with a baby or an infant can be challenging on an easy day.  Sitting on several busses for a total of about 10 hours (I almost wrote ‘years’ – it kind of felt like that!) with a very active infant is no joke and not my idea of a fun way to spend my day.  Not only that, but although Thai people (especially women) are usually in love with babies and always want to hold and play with them (and give me a break), I was seated next to a sourpuss who refused even to look at my adorable little cherub.  Then, to top it all off, I got caught in a rain shower with no way to cover the stroller (or myself).

But then again, it was a really fantastic day and when I finally arrived back at my guesthouse, I was smiling from ear to ear. Why?

It’s all about what miracles you see.  G-d sends us miracles constantly, but we often overlook them, calling them “nature” or “coincidence” or even “luck.” Well, my friends, let me tell you: nature was created and is controlled and maintained by G-d; coincidence simply doesn’t exist, but is G-d’s hand in the world; and luck is what happens when G-d sends something good your way.  At its core, everything is G-d’s will and if we look at it that way, we will start to see “coincidences” and “good luck” as miracles and blessings.  It’s an attitude that will create joy and gratitude in your life, which, today’s happiness gurus tell us, will make us happier people and more likely to live longer lives. Coincidence? I think not!

Akiva holding hands with a new Burmese friend... it it always such a blessing when I see him enjoying interactions with the local people! Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Making Local Friends. Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Mom Makes Local Friends, Too! Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 1 – Benefits for Parents). Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 2 – Physical Benefits for Baby). Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 3 – Mental & Emotional Benefits for Baby). LINKS AT BOTTOM OF POST.

You see, Akiva was in a great mood when I woke him up yesterday morning at 5 AM.  We took a tuktuk (auto-rickshaw) to the bus station and he laughed the whole time (he loves tuktuks!).  Once we got on the bus, he went right to sleep, without even nursing, and then proceeded to sleep nearly the entire bus ride to the border.  He was great when we went through security and immigration, ate a bit without complaint, and even fell asleep while I was walking around the market in Myanmar.  The goods in Myanmar were mostly poor quality and not to my taste, so I wasn’t really tempted to spend any money, which is good (I already did too much shopping in Thailand!).  The people were nice and friendly and the men selling cigarettes helped me up and down the stairs with the stroller. (It was amusing that when they tried to sell me the cigarettes, I told them Akiva was too young for them… their faces were priceless!)  I got a good seat on a van I needed to take and I had good seats on both of my busses. Akiva was very active in the van, but hardly cried at all. I ran into some Thai people I knew when I was in Chiang Rai and they played with Akiva for a few minutes and gave me a break.  I got some mango for a good price.  On my bus back, the man with the seat next to mine moved to another seat so I could have more space with the baby and once again, Akiva slept for half the bus ride.  When he was awake, he played nicely and ate some food (I think he was happy to have his own seat to play in!).  When we arrived at the bus station, I ran into two good Thai friends, who I hadn’t expected to see again before leaving, so it was a great surprise and I was really excited to see them. I trust them, so I was able to leave Akiva with them and use the bathroom (what a luxury!).  Then, on the truck back to my guesthouse, there were 2 Spanish guys, so I was able to give them some advice and, more importantly, speak some Spanish.  When I got back to the guesthouse, the women here were so excited to see us that they played with Akiva for 15 minutes or so, while I had some time to unwind.

Now, none of those things are really ‘shocking.’  G-d didn’t come split the Red Sea for me or anything.  But it made my day go more smoothly and more pleasantly.  And because I looked for them and recognized them, I saw them as miracles.  For that, I have to thank HaShem (G-d).

We get that precedent in this week’s parsha.  In fact, to our shame, it is a non-Jew who teaches us gratitude to G-d. Yisro, Moshe (Moses) Rabbeinu’s father-in-law, comes along and says, “Blessed is HaShem, Who Saved you from the hand of Egypt and Pharoah, that He Saved the people from being subjugated by the hand of Egypt.” Wow, up until then, the Jewish people hadn’t even blessed G-d for what He had done for us!  Sure, Miriam and the women sang His praise, but actually blessing Him? Outright thanking Him for His direct intervention?

Today, scientists have uncovered some evidence of the plagues in Egypt.  They have found ways to attribute them all to natural causes, such as volcanic eruptions.  G-d didn’t necessarily circumvent the laws of nature to create the plagues.  So the Jews might just have taken it somewhat for granted.  Just as we often do today, they could have called it “luck” or “coincidence.”  Yisro had to come along and cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  Yisro had to teach us to see and acknowledge the miracles.

Let’s not lose hold of this lesson.  Every day is a miracle, every day is full of blessings.  We just have to look and see them. Let’s thank G-d for everything he is doing for us, every moment of every day!

Shabbat Shalom!

Read more on Parshas Yisro: Keeping the Sabbath – Even While Traveling!

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Making Local Friends.

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Mom Makes Local Friends, Too!

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 1 – Benefits for Parents).

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 2 – Physical Benefits for Baby).

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 3 – Mental & Emotional Benefits for Baby).

Parshas Beshalach: Facing Our Fears Head-On

Travel brings to the surface many of our fears.  Often, the mere thought of traveling scares people.  In fact, I am often told by other travelers that they have friends and family who are afraid to travel.

There are many reasons why people are scared of travel.  Maybe they have children to schlep along.  Traveling or backpacking with a baby or infant is no joke, after all! Often people are afraid of the cost. Travel is expensive.  Or they are afraid of asking their boss for time off to do something that seems (to many) so frivolous.  Perhaps travel would require them to stand up to their friends and family who are not supportive.  A friend of mine recently told me that one of her friends was afraid to travel because – wait for it – she had furniture.

No matter what you’re afraid of, travel means confronting it head-on.  Ironically, people often think that we who travel are running away from our fears. It couldn’t be further from the truth! We’re running toward our fears.  We are deliberately putting ourselves in situations where we will have to face obstacles and challenges without being able to fall back on family and friends for support.  We step outside our comfort zones.

In this week’s parsha, the Jews also need to step out of their comfort zone.  They have just left Egypt and the Egyptian army is pursuing them. They have never known any life other than that of a slave.  It would be so much easier to fly the white flag and go turn themselves in, return to the life they had known.  But that is not what G-d expects of us. G-d expects us to go above and beyond, even when it is hard, even when it is uncomfortable.  Of all the Jewish people, only one man, Nachshon ben Aminadav, was able to face his fears and walk straight into the sea, away from his enemies.  He walked in until the water was up to his ankles, his knees, his chest, his chin, and then… Only with the waves lapping over him did the sea split.

If we really step outside of our comfort zones, if we immerse ourselves in life until it feels as if we might drown, if we challenge ourselves to the utmost in order to face our fears, then G-d will reward our efforts and split our own personal sea.  G-d will provide us safe passage.  As the sages teach, we have only to open a space the size of the eye of an needle to allow G-d in and He will open it to the size of a doorway we can walk through.  But we have to take that first step. We have to open the eye of that needle.  We have to face our fears.

This week, let us all work on facing our fears, challenge ourselves to new levels of growth, and step outside of our usual comfort zones.  Click here for some advice on facing your fears. Have strength and G-d will be with you!

Read more on Parshas Beshalach: Never Judge a Book by its Cover

Parshas Bo: Teaching is the Best Way to Learn

This week, Rabbi Ben and I went to the Hill Tribe Museum in Chiang Rai, Thailand. Usually, we skip museums because after a while they all start to blend together. You forget what you saw where, if you remember any of it at all.  Museums are usually too much to take in all at once, especially when you’re seeing so many of them.  But we made an exception and visited the Hill Tribe Museum anyway.

When we visited this Mong family for Mong New Year, I had no idea what to give as a gift of thanks. At the Hill Tribe Museum I learned that string or beads (for making traditional costumes) would have been the best gift. Now I share this information with all the other tourists I meet.

The Hill Tribe Museum in Chiang Mai doesn’t have many exhibits, but I found it a great visit anyway.  In fact, I really enjoyed it because I feel like I learned a lot about the tribes and cultures of Thailand, which I might never have learned otherwise.  One of the interesting things I read was this idea: A lot of people come to Thailand to do “voluntouring” – volunteering as a way of touring the country.  But perhaps what the tribal people need is less Western people coming to teach them things and more Western people coming to learn things.

It was an interesting point. How arrogant we Westerners are to think we are doing these tribal people so much good! We come in with our English language, our jeans, and our foods and think we are helping them, when really we are just cogs in the great wheel of assimilation that quashes cultures. What we could do, instead, is to visit these tribes and learn from them – and then take that new wisdom, knowledge, and information back to our home countries and teach it to our compatriots.

Pesach (Passover) is just around the corner.  Approximately two months to go and we’re already preparing for it through a massive review of the exodus chapter in our history.  But in this week’s Torah portion, Hashem (G-d) tells us to do more than simply review the story of what happened to us in Egypt and our exodus from that terrible place. We are told to teach the story. The parsha says:

“And so that you may relate in the ears of your son and your son’s son that which I have played with (punished) Egypt, and My wonders that I placed among them. And then you will know that I am God.”

“And then you will know that I am God.”  Rabbi Boruch Leff explains that this means we have to obtain knowledge - not just belief – and that the way to do this is to teach others. Why?  Because, as the Talmud (Taanit 7a) says:

“Rabbi Chanina said: ‘I have learned much from my teachers, from my colleagues even more, but from my students I have learned the most.’”

And indeed, modern science backs this up.  As Rabbi Leff points out,

William Glasser, Ph.D., once conducted a study in which he concluded that people learn 10% of what they read, 20% of what they hear, 30% of what they see, 50% of what they see and hear, 70% of what is discussed with others, 80% of what they experience, but 95% of what they teach to others.

Now, two months before Pesach, we review the story because, when Pesach arrives, it is our obligation to teach it to others – especially our children.  And in teaching it to others, we learn it better ourselves.

So in running the Traveling Rabbi blog, we are not just hoping to share Torah and halacha with others, but also to increase our own learning.  And so, when we learn interesting things, as we have this week at the Hill Tribe Museum, during our stay with the Akha Hill Tribe in Northern Thailand, and during our celebration of the Hmong (or Mong) New Year, we will endeavor to share them with you.  In doing so, we will increase our own knowledge. Look out for those posts.

And of course, feel free to share anything you learn on the Traveling Rabbi blog with others because you will gain benefit also.  If there is anything you want to see addressed or any questions you need answered, send us a message or a comment. We love to hear from you! Let’s all continue sharing, learning, and growing!

Shabbat Shalom!

Read more on Parshas Bo: Taking Responsibility for Our Mistakes

Parshas Va’era: Actions Speak Louder than Words

I don’t speak Thai.

Usually when I travel to a place, I try really hard to learn at least a few basic words in the local language, but here in Asia I feel a bit out of my depth.  These are tonal languages and I just can’t seem to get it right. I always feel like I’m talking through my nose and I’m pretty sure that instead of saying what I mean, I’m really using completely different terminology.  Instead of saying, “This is my baby” I’m probably saying something ridiculous like, “I enjoy eating pillowcases.”

So I find it better (and far less embarrassing) if I just don’t speak Thai.

Sometimes this makes it a bit hard to communicate, especially when I am trying to do something like politely decline an offer of a lunch of boiled balls of reconstituted pork, which the Thai people seem to love.  But the truth is that, for the most part, I really don’t need language.  I wanted to know where to buy some clothes for Akiva.  I could ask by looking confused, tugging on my own clothes, and rocking my arms as if rocking a baby (and pointing at Akiva helps).  The answer I received was an indication of the direction I should go – outside the building.  I found the clothing stalls!

Sure, it is always easier if you speak the local language.  You can communicate much more effectively, especially abstract thoughts.  But it’s not necessary.  After all, actions speak louder than words.

We see the truth of this come through in this week’s parsha (and next week’s as well).  Pharaoh is warned repeatedly by Moshe (Moses) and Aharon (Aaron) of the danger of keeping the Jewish people in slavery.  When he refuses to release them, he is struck with plague after plague.  Even when his own magicians and sorcerers come to him after the third plague (lice) and warn him, “This is the finger of G-d!” Pharaoh still will not relent. It is only the repeated actions of G-d that persuade.

It’s interesting because although G-d speaks to Moses, He uses action to communicate with Pharaoh.  For the really big stuff, for the hard communication, G-d chooses to use action instead of words. Upon reflection, I guess we turn to action when we know that the person we’re communicating with simply will not understand our words… even if we do speak the same language.  So when traveling, we can also use action in place of words.

Read more on Parshas Va’era: The Staff of Moses Proves the Butterfly Effect Exists in Judaism

Parshas Shemos: Moshe Teaches Us to Never Get Too Comfortable

At a protest in Miami, Florida, an Arab man attacks Jewish pro-Israel protesters - then turns his wrath on police

I find it’s best never to get too comfortable in whatever location I’m visiting.  What’s the point? Soon enough it will be time to move on.  I spent nearly a year in Sydney, Australia (during my pregnancy and shortly after Akiva’s birth), but I still never got all that comfortable.  I always knew I would have to move on eventually, and I was right.

It’s so tempting to want to feel “permanent,” but as Jews, we are all nomadic at heart, in some sense.  We’ve been on the move for so many generations that it’s hard to remember what really getting comfortable feels like.  Even Jews living in modern-day Israel can’t feel comfortable.  After all, at any moment a rocket could land on their house or, as in the case of the Jews who lived in Gaza, you could be forcibly removed from your home.  There is no place in the world where it is safe to be a Jew and get comfortable.

Oh, it’s tempting. Of course it is.  We have been lulled into such a false sense of security in much of the Western world.  In places like America and Australia, the governments and most of the citizens are so very accepting of Jews that they don’t even mind our complete assimilation (but we do – assimilation “kills” more Jews than the Holocaust, sadly).**  It’s easy to feel like we could get comfortable there.

But you never know how quickly things could change!  Moshe (Moses) was brought up in the house of Pharaoh. He was like one of the king’s adopted grandchildren. If anyone should have gotten comfortable, it’s him. I mean, he won the Egyptian adoption lottery!  Yet, Moshe never got comfortable.  His heart was always with the Jewish people.  He was raised in luxury, but he never for a moment stopped feeling the pain of his people who were enslaved outside of the palace walls.  And when he struck down an Egyptian, he did not even wait around to see what would happen. He just picked up and started running.  He didn’t stop to say, “Oh my, I had better go inside to pack up my jewels and gold and fancy linens.” He just left.

Arab children, raised in the US, dress up as terrorists and are educated that Israel is occupying even places like Syria and Lebanon. They are raised with hatred for the Jews and they are our next-door neighbors even in the USA.

We all have to live like this, with our bags perpetually packed. We cannot allow ourselves to get so comfortable that we cannot or do not move when we should. Imagine being in Germany in the 1930′s. In 1932 you buy a nice, big comfortable house.  In 1933 Hitler comes to power and establishes the first concentration camps.  Someone offers you a one-way ticket out of Germany. Do you close your eyes to the danger and say, “But I just bought this wonderful new home! I’m staying!”????  Of course in hindsight none of us want to admit we would have done that. But so many Jews in Europe did exactly that. “This is our home,” they cried – and then they died.  It’s a tragedy and one we all ought to avoid in our own lives and futures.

So don’t get too comfortable.  Just look at what is happening in Europe today – places that were once safe for Jews are now dangerous.  Trains are bombed and anti-Semitic attacks happen all the time.  Don’t feel safe just because you are in the US or Australia or anywhere else in the world.  When it is time to get up and move, be ready.  Because, like us, you may find yourself on the road one day.

Read more on Parshas Shemos: Remember Who Your Family Is! (And the Role of Women in Judaism)

**An edit from Rabbi Ben explaining the meaning of this statement more eloquently than I could:
“The saying “assimilation “kills” more Jews than the Holocaust,” simply means that more Jews are lost to assimilation than that were killed in the holocaust. Be the numbers right or wrong, I think it is a simple statement that says nothing more than, ‘Judaism is dying a slow death do to assimilation.’
For ‘halachic Judaism,’ to exist ‘halchicly Jewish women need to have babies.’ If a million Chinese study Talmud and keep Shabbat, halachic Judaism will not exist anymore.
‘Cultural assimilation,’ have been continuously used throughout history. Sometimes it is done tactfully, and at times it is forced. From the treatment of the aboriginal people in Australia, the Native American Indians in the United States, to going back thousands of years to ancient Rome and Greece, governments have, and continue to find ways to transform minority beliefs to that of the majority.
Jews in France practically disappeared in the nineteenth century because of assimilation. The Jews in France today are mostly of North African descent. This happened because of the openness of the French culture and Jews marrying out. 
Thus Judaism can still exists without Jews, as much as a movie can exist without anyone watching it. However, eventually, if no one watches the movie it will be forgotten. Jewish people without the practice of anything Jewish, would disappear.”

Parshas Vayechi: Playing to your Strengths

There is no place in the world to expose your strengths and weaknesses like India.  Almost everyone I talk to about it describes it as a “love-hate relationship” for exactly this reason.  Whatever your strengths are, travel in India will bring them out. Whatever your weaknesses, India will bring them out, too.

That’s because it’s such a confronting place, with constant throngs of people, noise, and smells.  There is no part of you left untouched.  It’s a good way to test your mettle.

And no two people react quite in the same way.  Rabbi Ben, for instance, goes mad from the constant loud noise, while I just tune it out.  But I couldn’t stand how I never managed to feel clean (and the creepy men touching me and taking my photo constantly also really got to me).  We all have different strengths and weaknesses, you see.

There’s a precedent for this in Judaism, too. It’s part of how we are made.  When Yaakov (Jacob) was on his deathbed, he gave blessings to each of his children.  Each of the 12 tribes received a different blessing, for each was different.  Each had different roles to fulfill within the Jewish nation, just as each of us has a different role to fulfill in our world.

Once he was done, Yaakov called them all back in and blessed them again. Blessed them with what? Rashi says he blessed each that he should also receive the blessings of the others.  But then what was the point in blessing them separately?  The Maharal explains that they were not equal in everything, but rather, that they each had some traits stronger and some less strong.  For example, Yehuda (Judah) received a blessing for strength – all of the other brothers had some strength, but Yehuda’s main talent was in his strength.

In our daily lives, we have a tendency to fall into some sort of complacency and acceptance of who we are and of our situation.  We face similar challenges all the time, with not much change.  Travel has the power to really shake that up.  Now we are suddenly dealing with problems like sewage in our hotel bathroom, how to navigate a crowded bus with a fully-loaded pram, or what to do when we get sick in a place where we don’t speak the local language.  Challenges that take us out of our element have the power to showcase incredible strengths we did not even realize we had.

And the beautiful thing is that we all have strengths.  Not only that, but we all have different strengths.  So the more we work together, the more our strengths together can make us exponentially stronger.

Shabbat shalom!