Parshas Chukas: The Fine Art of Persuasion

I once heard something that struck me as very wise: We all manipulate others; the only thing that changes is the method we use.  When we shout at someone in anger, we are trying to force them to yield to our will.  When we smile at or thank someone who does us a favor we are trying to encourage them to do more favors in the future.  When we ignore a certain person’s phone calls we are teaching them not to call anymore.  Our every little interaction with other people is a form of persuasion, whether we do it consciously or not.  As creatures of action and reaction, there is nothing we can do to stop it – even changing our behavior will change others’ reactions to us.

Thus it follows that persuasion is an art that is all-important in each and every one of our lives.  We all know someone who always seems to get their way with no effort.  And we all know someone who never gets what they want no matter how hard they try.  Some people are masters of persuasion, subtle and powerful, while others just seem to stumble and fall over their attempts to persuade.  Yet, persuasion is a skill that can be taught and honed.

The Torah demonstrates over and over again the different masters and methods of persuasion.  From Moshe (Moses) challenging Korach to a “competition” of offerings in last week’s parsha as a way to win over the Jews’ loyalty to Aaron’s feeble attempts to prevent the Jewish people from building the golden calf, persuasion (successful or not) is as ubiquitous in the Torah as it is in our everyday lives.

This week’s parsha teaches us an important lesson about persuasion.  Moshe is told by G-d to speak to the rock to get water to come from it, but instead he strikes it.  Yes, water comes from the rock when Moshe hits it, but the consequences are very serious: Moshe is forbidden from entering the land of Israel.

In our lives, we can use different methods to get what we want.  Like Moshe with the rock, we can beat and bully others into submission.  Or we can do what G-d commanded: speak and be subtle.  The Torah is coming to tell us this message: Persuade softly.

Yes, there is a time and a place for force.  Pharaoh refusing to free the slaves is subject to gruesome plagues.  Pinchas must slay Prince Zimri for his sexual offenses in order to cure the plague afflicting the Jews.  If there is a rockslide threatening, we may need to blow up the stones to save peoples’ lives.

But when the circumstances are not so dire, we must speak softly and persuade gently.  First Reuven and then Yehuda use words to persuade their brothers from killing Yosef (as his death was not yet imminent, it was not necessary to intervene with force).  Moshe must speak to the rock to get water, not hit it. If we want to grow vegetables, we must coax them from the land with time and care.

This week, try to develop a better awareness of the methods of persuasion you use most.  Are they too forceful for the situation or not forceful enough?  Perhaps we each, like Moshe, need to learn to speak to the rock rather than hitting it.

Shabbat shalom!

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Parshas Korach: Materialism?

Modern society places a strong emphasis on material goods.  We judge one another all too often by the car we drive, the house we live in, or the clothes we wear.  Some people cannot afford food, yet wear a Prada purse.

Many religions in the world repudiate materialism.  Many religions are ascetic in nature and exalt those individuals who can give up the most materialism.  Perhaps this is why Korach’s possessions are swallowed up when he sins? Perhaps Korach was too much of a materialist.

This cannot be the full explanation, however, because Judaism is not a religion that tells us to give up our material pleasures.  Instead, we are meant to uplift them and raise that which is “base” and physical to a higher, spiritual level.

The answer to the question lies in what Korach and his followers choose to offer up to G-d: incense.  Incense is an offering that is purely spiritual.  Unlike meat or other food offerings, where ultimately much of the offering is eaten, incense leaves nothing behind.  Korach and his followers were upset because they wanted to be priests so that, like the incense, they could live an almost completely spiritual life and be close to G-d at all times.  Yet, G-d rejected their offering. And then swallowed up Korach’s possessions.  It seems like a contradiction: I don’t want the spiritual and I don’t want the physical, either!

In part perhaps G-d was highlighting Korach’s hypocrisy.  He wanted to live in the spiritual world but he just couldn’t let go of the physical.

But much more than that, it seems likely that G-d was just trying to teach a lesson about the nature of materialism.  Material goods must be used in the right way.  They are neither to be adulated nor eliminated, but rather elevated.  By making an incense offering, Korach was advocating the elimination of the physical goods he was privately adulating, when in reality he should have been elevating those selfsame physical goods to a higher spiritual level.

This is what we, too, can do in our own lives.  We can elevate our physical possessions by using them in the right way.  Use candles for lighting on Friday nights. Use tables for Shabbat dinners.  Use spare beds for hosting guests.  Use cars for visiting the sick or elderly.  Every physical possession we have can be elevated in some way.

Shabbat shalom!

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Congratulations to Akiva for raising $180 for Clown Doctors and for actually walking 2.5 km. This is a fantastic accomplishment for a boy who has just turned two.

Walk Stats:

11:05 Start
11.46 Akiva says ‘up’ (meaning pick me up) I give him some food and he’s happy.
12:04 Break
12:12 walk
12:25 Finnish

Akiva’s Birthday Cake

Two year old walks for Clown Doctors

Akiva Walking

Akiva on his walk

Parshas Naso: Purifying Our Thoughts

We understand why some groups of ultra-orthodox Jews segregate themselves from the rest of the world.  The modern world is full of non-Jewish influences.  You turn on the radio and hear immodest music.  You turn on the television and see people dressed immodestly.  You walk in the street and you smell non-kosher food.

Most of us think we are strong enough to resist temptation. “I can quit smoking any time I want,” says the smoker.  And yet, those who really have quit smoking know it is not that easy.   But how did he start smoking in the first place?  He was probably surrounded by friends who smoked.  He started just by trying a bit, then a bit more, and eventually he was addicted.  And more than simple addiction – smoking became part of his world, his routine, his social scene.

It is the same with non-Jewish influences.  If we surround ourselves with people who we regularly see eating bacon, it is hard to resist the temptation to try it.  And this applies with things that go far beyond the laws of kashrut or modesty.  It includes our entire values system.  And it starts in our minds.

This is the meaning of the sotah, the wayward woman, in this week’s parsha.  In the Temple times, a woman who had been warned not to be alone with a certain man was seen secluding herself with him and was accused of adultery.  She proved her innocence – or her guilt was revealed – when she drank a potion of water and the dissolved ink from a parchment with this passage of the Torah on it.  Today, we do not follow this literally, but we can gain from its meaning.

The sotah is like our mind.  Rabbi Nachman of Breslov teaches that, like a married woman who should not be alone with a man other than her husband, our minds should not be alone with non-Jewish thoughts.  In Judaism, there are three levels of mitzvah and aveira: thought, speech, and action.  By secluding ourselves with our thoughts, we think we are safe and will not be found out.  But the influences will eventually come out in our speech and our actions.

This week, as we prepare ourselves to relive the giving of the Torah, is a perfect time to work on purifying our thoughts.

Shabbat shalom!

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Last week we were blessed to have attended an art gallery opening at the State Library of South Australia. Franz Kempf graciously donated a number of works which the library is selling to raise money.

We are honoured to have such an acclaimed artist in our community. Franz asked me if I would speak at the opening, which I did, and I thought some of you may appreciate reading the speech.

There is one thing I did not mention in the speech though, and it is the number one thing that comes to mind whenever I think about Franz. Virtually, every Sabbath morning Franzis at the Synagogue, and more often than not, he is the first one there. It’s not always easy for him to come. He is obviously very busy finding time to create art, selling art, and setting up exhibitions, though he still makes the effort. Please G-d we hope to count him in the minyan for many more years to come.

Now for the speech…I’ve adapted it slightly….

Ladies and gentleman, honoured guests, Franz – I am grateful to be here today to celebrate with you this wonderful collection of art. After Franz asked me to share a few words, I sat down at the computer and I Googled, ‘What to say at an art gallery opening. The first thing that came up, was a blog article titled, ”7 things never to say at an art gallery’ which included:

How much just for the frame?

My nephew does similar work. He’s two.

Do you have this in medium?

I also realised that it has been some time since I’ve last been to an art opening and thought I should brush up on proper etiquette.  So I Googled, ‘Art gallery opening etiquette,’ and the first entry was, ‘Behavioural Blunders for Everyone.’ It had an in-depth list…

Don’t bring your pets

Don’t touch the art

Don’t get drunk or better yet, arrive drunk!

One of the things I like about Franz is he always has a joke. As a Rabbi, I’m pretty good at Jewish jokes, so I thought I should have a few Art jokes if I am going to an art opening. So I sat down at the computer again, and Googled, ‘Art Jokes’

Art Teacher: “The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon?”
Student: “The horse will draw it!”  (I didn’t find this one funny either!)

Question: How many visitors to an Art Gallery does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Two. One to do it and one to say “Huh! My four-year old could’ve done that!”

When it comes to appreciating art, we usually first have a relationship with the art and then if we are fortunate we get to meet the artist if they are around. However, for the most part we try to understand the artist by the work they’ve created. It was six months after I met Franz until I knew he was an artist, and yet a further six months until I saw any of his work. I got to know Franz first as a person; when I see Franz on a Saturdaymorning, impeccably dressed, holding hands with his wife Tamar, always with a smile, followed by a good word and something interesting to share, this is the most beautiful art.

What an artist can create is only a glimpse and a hint of who the artist is. But the more one knows of the artist the more we can appreciate and understand what they have created. Otherwise we are left speculating.

There are two aspects when it comes to art, 1) is what the artist is trying to tell us, 2) is what we think the artist is trying to tell us.…

            A little old lady was among a group at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery.
Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. What on earth, she inquired of the artist standing nearby, is that? He smiled condescendingly. That, my dear lady, is supposedto be a mother and her child. Well, then snapped the little old lady, Why isn’t it?

Each of us translates art differently; the way we see it depends on our way of life. We see things not by the way they are, rather by the way we are. The beauty in art is always in the eyes of the beholder. Art appreciation is unique for each individual yet there is still that universal force that brings us all together.

            My Grandmother, may she rest in peace, loved Claude Monet work. Every week I used to send her cards while she was alive and more often than not I would find cards depicting Monet work.  I understand why Grandma liked Monet. Anyone can look at a Monet and feel pleasant inside. Most of Monet’s works are bright and cheerful scenes that have a definite character and structure. The names subscribed to the paintings clearly illustrate what’s going on in them, and we can comfortably let ourself get lost in them.

Franz’s work is very different. Aside from perhaps some of his landscapes, his art is not designed to give us warm fuzzy feeling inside. Franz who takes the stance as a humanist, and spiritualist, wants the viewer to think, to question and as is the case with much spiritual based art, for the reader to interpret it in whichever way they choose.

There are a number of themes that run throughout Franz work, most of it is rarely literal or descriptive. The images tend to be more of a metaphor, where for the large part it is up to the viewer to decide what they want. Unlike the joke with the painting of the mother and her child, with Franz’s work you can choose to see only a mother, only a daughter, or neither of them.

The art we see here at this exhibition, is a collection of sketches. As Franz has expressed to me, sometimes the sketch is an end in itself, whilst at times it is like taking a note to capture an idea. Sometimes those ideas turn into paintings, as some of these sketches have. It is also possible that more of these sketches you are looking at will one day transform into paintings, and take on a new life of their own.

One of the most famous artists of all time Is Leonardo Da Vinci. Leonardo painted the ‘Mona Lisa’ which today is arguably the most viewed painting around. Leonardo, later in his life, is said to have regretted “never having completed a single work.”  He also said, “art is never finished, only abandoned.”

A work of art is constantly evolving, be it theatre, music and in our case drawings. As an individual, and or, as a society evolves their attitudes, feelings and beliefs change. And this is reflected back into the art of the time.

I’d like to conclude with a quote from Pirkei Avot, Ethics of our Fathers which is a collection of wisdom from Jewish sages two thousand years ago.

“He [Rabbi Tarfon] used to say: It is not upon you to complete the task, but you are not free to idle from it.

            A person’s job here in the world is never complete even when they take their last breath. So long as we are alive we must continue to contribute in making the world a better place, each person in his or her own unique way by expressing the gifts G-d has bestowed upon them.

Franz: We wish you and bless you may you go from strength to strength and continue to inspire, interest, and intrigue us for many more years to come.

Thank you.