Traveling Solo on an Overnight Bus with a Baby

Last night I went solo on the bus overnight from Bangkok to Chiang Mai.  It was a long night with not much sleep, so traveling this way is not what I would recommend. Because tonight is New Year’s, the guesthouses in Chiang Mai are all full, so finding a room took many hours, which didn’t help after the journey!

The journey started out with me bringing Akiva (and all our stuff) to the travel agent’s near Khao San Road in Bangkok.  The agent told me the bus would pick up from there, so I dismantled Akiva’s stroller and took the bags from under it for ease of loading. Of course, it being Thailand, the bus actually picked up from a location quite far away, so I had to put everything back together again to transport it.  The bus was an hour and a half late, too.

Fortunately, a few kind people helped me.  If not, I am not sure where I would have found a seat on the bus because it was overbooked. It was difficult to juggle the various bags, stroller, and baby, since I had to be capable of handling it all at once.  This slowed me down considerably and I was one of the last people on the bus. Fortunately, an Israeli couple I met at the Chabad House in Bangkok was also on the same bus, so they took a bag of mine and claimed a seat for me.

I like to be next to a window and toward the front of the bus. The window is good because A) it means I only have to keep Akiva from going in one direction (to my side), rather than two (to both sides) and B) it gives a few extra inches of space between the seat and the window, and when there are two people in a seat instead of one, space is at a premium!  I like to be near the front because A) it’s less bumpy, which is better for keeping baby asleep and B) I have a tendency to get motion sickness, which is less when I’m in the front (motion sickness is bad enough, but motion sickness with a baby is even worse).  Thanks to my Israeli friends reserving a seat with one of my bags, I was able to get a pretty good seat.

Fortunately, Akiva slept really well on the bus.  He went right to sleep when I nursed him and whenever he woke up, I was able to nurse him back to sleep again easily.  Of course, when he woke, he screamed his head off until I was able to get in a position to nurse him, which I am certain my fellow bus-riders did not appreciate.  But he was quite good on the whole.

Of course, this does not necessarily mean I was able to sleep! Even though the seats do recline, I was afraid of dropping Akiva if I fell asleep, so I kept a firm grip on him.  I also tried sleeping on my side a bit, so he could lay directly on the seat, but there really was not enough room.

If possible, I would recommend doing such a journey with a partner.  That way you can sleep in shifts.  It might also be possible to lay down with the baby in between you in a secure enough position that he/she will not slide off the seat.

If traveling solo on the bus again, I would probably consider buying myself a second ticket and taking up two seats, especially in a place where bus tickets are so inexpensive and the bus ride is so long.  More space = more comfort and more comfort = more sleep.  If you can afford it, it is totally worth it!

Flying With Uzbekistan Airways From Bangkok Thailand via Tashkent, Uzbekistan to Tel Aviv, Israel.

Flying with Uzbekistan Airways

This past week I flew from Bangkok to Tel Aviv with Uzbekistan Airways. I must admit, when I purchased the plane ticket I was a bit hesitant, though the only available dates and at a reasonable price for the flights I needed was with Uzbekistan airways.

I was surprised to find the planes perfectly modern and more comfortable than some low cost carriers I have flown around Australia and the United States. They had my kosher meals; from Bangkok to Tashkent the meal was from a caterer in Europe, and from Tashkent to Tel Aviv, the meal was from Israel. The meal from Israel was perhaps one of the best kosher airline meals I’ve ever had. A nicely cooked chicken breast on well-seasoned rice that did not even taste like an airline meal. It tasted like something from a restaurant.

Every seat on my Uzbekistan Airways flights had its own video screen with options to choose movies, music, and games. I’m not much of a movie watcher but sometimes on a long flight I like to watch something. The movies offered were all Uzbekistan and Russian produced with not a single English film. Having no clue about Uzbekistan movies, I asked one of the flight attendants to recommend a couple of the films, which she did. I enjoyed watching them as they were an insight into the Uzbek culture, though the films were difficult to follow at times. There were no English subtitles available, and the only option was to listen to it poorly dubbed where in both movies there was one poorly spoken English male voice used for all the male actors, and one equally poorly spoken English female voice for all the female actors. When two male actors had their backs to the viewer while they had a conversation, it was hard to tell who was saying what with the same dubbed voice speaking the parts for both of them.

Something else Uzbekistan Airways may have over looked was the games that can only be played using the screen as a touch screen. There was no game console. There was a very enthusiastic teenage girl siting behind me who at times got carried away in her game playing and began tapping the screen behind my head enthusiastically, waking me up twice.

One thing that got my attention was the crates of tropical fruit passengers brought with them onto the plane from Bangkok. One guy had a bag with at least twelve pineapples, another had a container with over twenty mangoes. I questioned one of the fruit carriers who explained to me that in Uzbekistan they never get this fruit. They were bringing home as much as they could to share with friends and family.  Hearing this brought me to the quick conclusion that I could never live in Uzbekistan, because I live mostly on fruit.

Tashkent airport is rather Soviet drab. No much happening there. A concrete building with a couple of drinking bars and some poorly stocked duty-free shops.

All up, it was an enjoyable experience, and I’m looking forward to my flight back from Tel Aviv to Bangkok with Uzbekistan Airways.

Parshas Vayechi: Playing to your Strengths

There is no place in the world to expose your strengths and weaknesses like India.  Almost everyone I talk to about it describes it as a “love-hate relationship” for exactly this reason.  Whatever your strengths are, travel in India will bring them out. Whatever your weaknesses, India will bring them out, too.

That’s because it’s such a confronting place, with constant throngs of people, noise, and smells.  There is no part of you left untouched.  It’s a good way to test your mettle.

And no two people react quite in the same way.  Rabbi Ben, for instance, goes mad from the constant loud noise, while I just tune it out.  But I couldn’t stand how I never managed to feel clean (and the creepy men touching me and taking my photo constantly also really got to me).  We all have different strengths and weaknesses, you see.

There’s a precedent for this in Judaism, too. It’s part of how we are made.  When Yaakov (Jacob) was on his deathbed, he gave blessings to each of his children.  Each of the 12 tribes received a different blessing, for each was different.  Each had different roles to fulfill within the Jewish nation, just as each of us has a different role to fulfill in our world.

Once he was done, Yaakov called them all back in and blessed them again. Blessed them with what? Rashi says he blessed each that he should also receive the blessings of the others.  But then what was the point in blessing them separately?  The Maharal explains that they were not equal in everything, but rather, that they each had some traits stronger and some less strong.  For example, Yehuda (Judah) received a blessing for strength – all of the other brothers had some strength, but Yehuda’s main talent was in his strength.

In our daily lives, we have a tendency to fall into some sort of complacency and acceptance of who we are and of our situation.  We face similar challenges all the time, with not much change.  Travel has the power to really shake that up.  Now we are suddenly dealing with problems like sewage in our hotel bathroom, how to navigate a crowded bus with a fully-loaded pram, or what to do when we get sick in a place where we don’t speak the local language.  Challenges that take us out of our element have the power to showcase incredible strengths we did not even realize we had.

And the beautiful thing is that we all have strengths.  Not only that, but we all have different strengths.  So the more we work together, the more our strengths together can make us exponentially stronger.

Shabbat shalom!

Being Secure in Your Faith

Rebbetzin Rachel at Vimanmek Mansion in Bangkok, Thailand

Yesterday I went to Vimanmek Mansion in Bangkok, one of the Thai king’s royal palaces. I had a free ticket, so I figured I might as well go.  As it turned out, my ticket also included admission to the dozen other buildings on the premises, which housed a multitude of museums.  Had I realized how much there was to see, I would have gone earlier and spent the whole day there instead of just the afternoon!

While I was in one of the museums, I overheard another visitor lamenting to her guide, “She’s got her hair covered; why can’t I wear my hat?”  ”You need to wear a hair covering like that and tell them that you’re Muslim,” replied the guide.  I couldn’t stop myself – wanting to be helpful, I offered that sometimes Jewish women do cover their hair with hats, rather than scarves.  ”Well, my parents are Jewish!” exclaimed the woman. “Then you’re Jewish, too!” I replied.  ”No, I’m not! I’m an atheist!” came the insistent reply.  Sweetly I told her, “Well, whether or not you believe in it or follow it, you’re Jewish under Jewish law.” “No I’m not!” she exclaimed, really irritated. “I’ve had this argument a dozen times with my cousins. I’m not Jewish!”

I wasn’t interested in having an argument with a stranger, but what did strike me was just how defensive she was.  I hadn’t told her anything other than basic facts – Jewish women cover their hair with hats and under Jewish law, she’s also Jewish.  Both things are facts outside of her (or my) control, and both were communicated sweetly and with love and a smile.  Yet, she was quick to bristle and get defensive, repeatedly insisting to me that she’s an atheist.  Why?

We tend to go on the defensive most when we are afraid of being wrong.  When we have some insecurity that is bothering us from within, we jump to defend ourselves.  We only get defensive when we have a real weakness.

Imagine this, you are a small, thin woman, and a big, strong man approaches you threateningly on a dark, deserted street.  There’s nowhere to run, so you take on your best karate stance and prepare to defend yourself.  You jump to your own defense because you sense your own vulnerability.  Imagine, however, that instead of a big, strong man coming to attack you, it is a little toddler having a tantrum coming to attack you.  You wouldn’t put on your karate stance.  You might even laugh because no matter how slight you are or how strong the toddler, he can’t actually do you any real harm.  You feel secure. You don’t have to go on the defensive.  You know you’re safe.

I was thinking of this yesterday when I encountered this woman.  I was calm and serene, peaceful.  I did not need to argue with her, I did not feel threatened when her guide referred to me as a Muslim or when she insisted on being an atheist.  Neither of those things threatens me or my beliefs.  Yet, me mentioning her being Jewish under halacha threw her onto the defensive right away.  Obviously, she does not find the same calm serenity in her atheism that I do in my Judaism.

And you can’t say “Oh, it’s because her cousins are always arguing with her.” – It doesn’t matter how much other people argue with you.  If you’re at peace with your faith, it won’t be shaken by others arguing with you.

It is obvious to me that this woman has a Jewish neshama (soul) crying out to return and it began agitating within her when it heard someone mention the laws it is crying out to follow.  That is the reason why so many secular Jews have so much respect for people of other faiths, but not for the strict adherents to their own faith.  Only their own faith is a threat, because only their own faith calls the neshama home to Hashem.

Parshas Vayigash: The Benefit of Being “Different”

A variety of bugs for sale (for dinner!) on the streets of Thailand

We’re back in the second/third world, and boy, am I glad to be back.  It’s rough going – even last night I was sweating and complaining about the heat – and if I’m hot, then it must be really hot!  It’s even harder with a baby, since he has to adjust to new time zones, lots of stimulation, and unfamiliar surroundings.

One thing that strikes me immediately in such a place is just how different we are as Jews.  Last night I watched a man eating bugs – there were cockroaches, maggots, grasshoppers, and even scorpions, all fried and for sale.  Even if we wanted to, we couldn’t partake of such “delicacies.”  I saw a sign in one shop advertising live bullfrog for dinner.  I’m sure a lot of tourists would go try it (I’m reminded of a trip to Scotland with a friend who insisted on trying the haggis) because it’s a novelty and hey, why not!  But as Jews, we can’t do that. It’s not kosher.

In this week’s parsha we see Yaakov (Jacob) traveling down to Egypt.  Along the way, he has a dream in which Hashem (G-d) comes to him and tells him not to be afraid, that he should resettle in Egypt.  Was Yaakov afraid? And why did he have to stay in Egypt? It makes sense why Yosef (Joseph) would need to stay in Egypt, but why Yaakov? What was so important that G-d Himself had to command him to go live there?

Egypt was fundamentally different from Canaan (the land of Israel at that time).  Yaakov’s father and grandfather lived there and were well known and respected.  For the most part, the family was accepted.  Perhaps they were viewed as a bit eccentric, or even heretical, but nobody in those days cared all that much.  In fact, as Rabbi Bernie Fox of the OU points out, the Canaanites’ acceptance of Yaakov’s family was so total and complete that Shechem, a prince, fell in love with and asked to marry Yaakov’s daughter Dina.  Even when told that he and his entire city would have to be circumcised (as adults, with no anesthetic!), he did it, and commanded his city to do so as well.  The Jews were accepted fully.

Egypt, however, was not like that.  There, Yaakov’s family would really be viewed as heretics, and in the wildly religious Egypt, that was not something to be overlooked.  The Jews were not even permitted to eat at the same table as the Egyptians!  This applied even to Yosef, who was second to no one but Pharaoh himself.  In Egypt, the Jews would remain separate.

You see, Yosef was afraid to leave the land his family had settled, which had been promised to him and his ancestors, which his father (Yitzchak, Isaac) had been forbidden to leave.  But he had to go and live in Egypt because if he and his entire family did not, the assimilation would be so total that the Jewish people would have been wiped out before it even began.

Live bullfrog for dinner in Singapore? Not kosher!

Unfortunately, we face this very problem today, quite strongly.  In many Western cultures, the assimilation is very strong.  Marry someone who’s not Jewish and he won’t mind if you want to celebrate Chanukah instead of X-mas.  He’ll be happy to come with you to your Pesach seder, he just might invite you to his family’s Easter dinner.  And what’s the harm in that? It’s only a dinner, right?  And the circle will spiral downwards – assimilation is a slippery slope that poses a bigger threat to Judaism and does more harm to the Jewish people than, G-d forbid, the Holocaust even did.

We have lost far more than 6 million Jews to assimilation throughout history, and the number is now increasing exponentially. That’s why sometimes it is good to head for the third world, where we are so different.  Our “otherness” is striking to both them and us.  It brings home to us just how different we are – and how different we must remain.

Shabbat shalom!

Read more on Parshas Vayigash: Maintaining Humility in Positions of Power