Parshas Vayakhel-Pekudei: Finding Our Mission in Life

For some reason, finding one’s “mission in life,” or one’s” purpose in life” has come up in conversation a lot over the past few months.  I remember sitting and talking to my friend Mia about it for hours, and Rabbi Ben brought it up to me this week.  It also cropped up in a book I’m currently reading, given to me by a friend.  It must be pretty important if everybody’s talking about it.

When I asked Rabbi Ben about it, he said our purpose in life is to do mitzvos and to follow the Torah.  Well, obviously this is what G-d wants us to be doing. But is it our mission?

Judaism embraces the concept of a “tikkun.”  Tikkun is the work we must do in the world, and can refer both to our own self-improvements and to the accomplishments we’re aiming for.  So maybe our purpose as Jews is to keep the Torah… but our tikkun as individuals is as varied and unique as a fingerprint.

Interestingly, in this week’s parsha, we see some people discovering some hidden talents, some of their missions in life.  As the parsha says, “Every man whose heart inspired him came…” which the Ramban teaches refers to the weavers and carpenters who built the mishkan (tabernacle).  They were very talented at their crafts, which required fine skills. Yet, how did these lowly Hebrew slaves, who previously had done nothing more crafty than making bricks out of straw, know how to do these things?  The Ramban answers that they were divinely inspired: G-d Himself gave them the skills to be able to do things they had never learned.

We also have lots of G-d given talents and abilities, but how many of them do we find?  How often do we balk at trying something new? How often do we limit ourselves instead of pushing ourselves to the next level?

In the book I’m reading, God Winked by Sara Yocheved Rigler, the author shares some good advice from Rabbi Aryeh Nivin on how to identify your life’s mission:

• Ask yourself: “What were the five or ten most pleasurable moments in my life?”
• Ask yourself: If I inherited a billion dollars and had six hours a day of discretionary time, what would I do with the time and money?”

One of your most pleasurable moments may have been when you did something small, like climbing a hill – but if you had all that time and money, you would climb Mt. Everest (I know that’s what Rabbi Ben would do!).  You’ve limited yourself. But if G-d has given you a talent and an aptitude for doing a certain thing, then maybe that’s your mission in life – and if you limit yourself, you will never achieve your potential.

This week, let’s all work on achieving our full potential and working toward our life missions!

Shabbat shalom!

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Parshas Ki Tisa: Parshas Parah: Taking the Bull by the Horns

We have a bull living in our house.  Our Adventuring Akiva was born with the bull as his star sign (Taurus).  Although we do not believe the mazal (fate) of Jews is dictated by the stars, we do believe that certain personality traits and characteristics can be read in the stars based on when we are born.

The stars are “closer” in a way to shemayim (heaven), which may be why we look up at them and call them “the heavens.”  But as a result, when our mazal comes down to this world, we can read it first in the stars.  As Jews we definitely believe in astrology, just not as it’s practiced today by all the charlatan out there.  But also as Jews we are forbidden from having our fortunes told, for a number of reasons I won’t go into here lest I digress.  Yet, we definitely do know certain basics, such as that certain character traits tend to be associated with birth during certain Hebrew months.

So, we have a bull living in our midst.  And he really is a little bull.  Sometimes I think he exemplifies the “bull in a china shop” phrase because he has a knack for getting into and destroying everything just because he is so enthusiastic about exploring it (although maybe that’s all babies!).  Nevertheless, I often look down as him and think that as he crawls around, he even looks like a bull.  He is so solidly built!  He’s also got the persistence of a bull – no matter how many times I try to distract him or take him away from something he shouldn’t have, he will always continue to go after it, whether he has to climb over, under, around, or through something else to get to it!

But of course, bulls are also famous for something else: their anger.  In sports involving bulls, it is always their anger that is exploited.  In bullfights, red capes are flashed before him to make him angry. And there wouldn’t be much point to a rodeo if the bull wasn’t so angry about having a person sitting on him!

In the Torah, anger is equated to idol worship.  When we become angry, we are in essence coming to worship our own egos.  We become angry when things just don’t go the way we think they should.  I think that driver should let me in when I signal but instead he cuts me off – I get angry.I spend hours cleaning and then my kids run through with muddy shoes – I get angry.  I spend hours putting together an elaborate cake and then my oven goes bonkers and it burns up – I get angry.  It’s all about what I think should happen, but then doesn’t happen.  It’s all about me and my ego.

So it should come as no surprise that the Jews came to worship the Golden Calf.  In essence, they are worshipping themselves.  In fact, it is the “erev rav,” the “mixed multitude” who were the ones actually worshipping the Golden Calf.  You see, when the Jews came out of Egypt, they didn’t come alone. There were a lot of hangers-on who followed after them.  It is they whom the sages blame for the idol worship.  Yet, it isn’t that easy to simply dismiss them because the “mixed multitude” was mixed, after all – mixed with us!  We couldn’t just point and say, “Those guys over there are to blame” because they were mixed in with all the Jews.  The erev rav symbolizes something much deeper – it symbolizes that part of us known as the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, that is mixed up inside of us, and which cannot always be distinguished.  And what is the main vehicle of the yetzer hara? You guessed it – the ego!

No wonder G-d was so upset when He found us worshipping the Golden Calf.  G-d’s responses are always just, and always measure for measure.  So fitting that he would become angry when he sees the Golden Calf being worshipped just after He has revealed Himself and raised us all to the level of angels.  How quickly we rose and how quickly we fell.  We just could not withstand the lure of caving in to our own egos.

But if the Jews who stood at Sinai could not maintain control over their own egos for even 40 days and nights, despite being at the level of angels, how can we expect to do any better? The answer is, we can’t.  We are flawed, weak human beings, but we have got one thing angels haven’t got: the ability to better ourselves.  To totally conquer our egos, we must abnegate our selfish, limited wills to the ultimate and supreme Will of our Creator.  The antidote to the Golden Calf is in our hands: the Torah.  It is up to us to take the steps, one at a time, to follow it more closely.  To decide that today we will not eat that forbidden food, we will not drive this Shabbat, and we will offer to help our enemy who is struggling to carry a heavy load.  Because all of these things require us to push our own egos down and, instead, to focus on becoming closer to the Divine.

So this week, think of at least one thing you can do to turn your ego down a notch and your closeness to G-d up.  Will it be a change in what you eat? What you wear? What you say?  We all have the power to stop the erev rav within us from worshipping the Golden Calf, if only we will try.

Shabbat shalom!

Parshas Yisro: Blessing G-d for Miracles

Yesterday I encountered so many miracles I can’t even count them.

Akiva at the Myanmar (Burmese) border

It wasn’t such an extraordinary day, really.  I had to take Akiva on the long bus journey from where we are staying in Thailand to the northernmost border, then cross into Burma and come back again.  Backpacking or traveling with a baby or an infant can be challenging on an easy day.  Sitting on several busses for a total of about 10 hours (I almost wrote ‘years’ – it kind of felt like that!) with a very active infant is no joke and not my idea of a fun way to spend my day.  Not only that, but although Thai people (especially women) are usually in love with babies and always want to hold and play with them (and give me a break), I was seated next to a sourpuss who refused even to look at my adorable little cherub.  Then, to top it all off, I got caught in a rain shower with no way to cover the stroller (or myself).

But then again, it was a really fantastic day and when I finally arrived back at my guesthouse, I was smiling from ear to ear. Why?

It’s all about what miracles you see.  G-d sends us miracles constantly, but we often overlook them, calling them “nature” or “coincidence” or even “luck.” Well, my friends, let me tell you: nature was created and is controlled and maintained by G-d; coincidence simply doesn’t exist, but is G-d’s hand in the world; and luck is what happens when G-d sends something good your way.  At its core, everything is G-d’s will and if we look at it that way, we will start to see “coincidences” and “good luck” as miracles and blessings.  It’s an attitude that will create joy and gratitude in your life, which, today’s happiness gurus tell us, will make us happier people and more likely to live longer lives. Coincidence? I think not!

Akiva holding hands with a new Burmese friend... it it always such a blessing when I see him enjoying interactions with the local people! Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Making Local Friends. Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Mom Makes Local Friends, Too! Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 1 – Benefits for Parents). Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 2 – Physical Benefits for Baby). Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 3 – Mental & Emotional Benefits for Baby). LINKS AT BOTTOM OF POST.

You see, Akiva was in a great mood when I woke him up yesterday morning at 5 AM.  We took a tuktuk (auto-rickshaw) to the bus station and he laughed the whole time (he loves tuktuks!).  Once we got on the bus, he went right to sleep, without even nursing, and then proceeded to sleep nearly the entire bus ride to the border.  He was great when we went through security and immigration, ate a bit without complaint, and even fell asleep while I was walking around the market in Myanmar.  The goods in Myanmar were mostly poor quality and not to my taste, so I wasn’t really tempted to spend any money, which is good (I already did too much shopping in Thailand!).  The people were nice and friendly and the men selling cigarettes helped me up and down the stairs with the stroller. (It was amusing that when they tried to sell me the cigarettes, I told them Akiva was too young for them… their faces were priceless!)  I got a good seat on a van I needed to take and I had good seats on both of my busses. Akiva was very active in the van, but hardly cried at all. I ran into some Thai people I knew when I was in Chiang Rai and they played with Akiva for a few minutes and gave me a break.  I got some mango for a good price.  On my bus back, the man with the seat next to mine moved to another seat so I could have more space with the baby and once again, Akiva slept for half the bus ride.  When he was awake, he played nicely and ate some food (I think he was happy to have his own seat to play in!).  When we arrived at the bus station, I ran into two good Thai friends, who I hadn’t expected to see again before leaving, so it was a great surprise and I was really excited to see them. I trust them, so I was able to leave Akiva with them and use the bathroom (what a luxury!).  Then, on the truck back to my guesthouse, there were 2 Spanish guys, so I was able to give them some advice and, more importantly, speak some Spanish.  When I got back to the guesthouse, the women here were so excited to see us that they played with Akiva for 15 minutes or so, while I had some time to unwind.

Now, none of those things are really ‘shocking.’  G-d didn’t come split the Red Sea for me or anything.  But it made my day go more smoothly and more pleasantly.  And because I looked for them and recognized them, I saw them as miracles.  For that, I have to thank HaShem (G-d).

We get that precedent in this week’s parsha.  In fact, to our shame, it is a non-Jew who teaches us gratitude to G-d. Yisro, Moshe (Moses) Rabbeinu’s father-in-law, comes along and says, “Blessed is HaShem, Who Saved you from the hand of Egypt and Pharoah, that He Saved the people from being subjugated by the hand of Egypt.” Wow, up until then, the Jewish people hadn’t even blessed G-d for what He had done for us!  Sure, Miriam and the women sang His praise, but actually blessing Him? Outright thanking Him for His direct intervention?

Today, scientists have uncovered some evidence of the plagues in Egypt.  They have found ways to attribute them all to natural causes, such as volcanic eruptions.  G-d didn’t necessarily circumvent the laws of nature to create the plagues.  So the Jews might just have taken it somewhat for granted.  Just as we often do today, they could have called it “luck” or “coincidence.”  Yisro had to come along and cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  Yisro had to teach us to see and acknowledge the miracles.

Let’s not lose hold of this lesson.  Every day is a miracle, every day is full of blessings.  We just have to look and see them. Let’s thank G-d for everything he is doing for us, every moment of every day!

Shabbat Shalom!

Read more on Parshas Yisro: Keeping the Sabbath – Even While Traveling!

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Making Local Friends.

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Mom Makes Local Friends, Too!

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 1 – Benefits for Parents).

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 2 – Physical Benefits for Baby).

Read more about Traveling & Backpacking with a Baby or Infant: Top 10 Reasons for your Baby to Play with the Locals (Part 3 – Mental & Emotional Benefits for Baby).

Parshas Beshalach: Facing Our Fears Head-On

Travel brings to the surface many of our fears.  Often, the mere thought of traveling scares people.  In fact, I am often told by other travelers that they have friends and family who are afraid to travel.

There are many reasons why people are scared of travel.  Maybe they have children to schlep along.  Traveling or backpacking with a baby or infant is no joke, after all! Often people are afraid of the cost. Travel is expensive.  Or they are afraid of asking their boss for time off to do something that seems (to many) so frivolous.  Perhaps travel would require them to stand up to their friends and family who are not supportive.  A friend of mine recently told me that one of her friends was afraid to travel because – wait for it – she had furniture.

No matter what you’re afraid of, travel means confronting it head-on.  Ironically, people often think that we who travel are running away from our fears. It couldn’t be further from the truth! We’re running toward our fears.  We are deliberately putting ourselves in situations where we will have to face obstacles and challenges without being able to fall back on family and friends for support.  We step outside our comfort zones.

In this week’s parsha, the Jews also need to step out of their comfort zone.  They have just left Egypt and the Egyptian army is pursuing them. They have never known any life other than that of a slave.  It would be so much easier to fly the white flag and go turn themselves in, return to the life they had known.  But that is not what G-d expects of us. G-d expects us to go above and beyond, even when it is hard, even when it is uncomfortable.  Of all the Jewish people, only one man, Nachshon ben Aminadav, was able to face his fears and walk straight into the sea, away from his enemies.  He walked in until the water was up to his ankles, his knees, his chest, his chin, and then… Only with the waves lapping over him did the sea split.

If we really step outside of our comfort zones, if we immerse ourselves in life until it feels as if we might drown, if we challenge ourselves to the utmost in order to face our fears, then G-d will reward our efforts and split our own personal sea.  G-d will provide us safe passage.  As the sages teach, we have only to open a space the size of the eye of an needle to allow G-d in and He will open it to the size of a doorway we can walk through.  But we have to take that first step. We have to open the eye of that needle.  We have to face our fears.

This week, let us all work on facing our fears, challenge ourselves to new levels of growth, and step outside of our usual comfort zones.  Click here for some advice on facing your fears. Have strength and G-d will be with you!

Read more on Parshas Beshalach: Never Judge a Book by its Cover

The Hmong New Year: What the Jews Can Learn from the Hmong People

Last week, we went to a village near Chiang Mai in Thailand to join in the celebration of the Hmong (Mong) New Year.  The Hmong people are an ethnic minority, originally from Southern China, but beginning in the 18th century, they started moving south due to political unrest.

A Hmong woman doing traditional string weaving while carrying a basket on her back. She is dressed in traditional Hmong clothing.

One thing really impressed me about the Hmong people when Rabbi Ben and I were at the Hmong New Year celebration last week.  That was how the vast majority of the Hmong still clung so steadfastly to their traditional ways.  Most of the Hmong were dressed in very traditional costumes, which they still make themselves, to this very day.  Most of the activities and competitions were traditional ones that would have been exactly the same hundreds (if not thousands) of years ago.  And most of the dances, songs, and performances were completely traditional.  Even the food was still cooked on the fire like it has been since time immemorial.

The Ba’al Shem Tov says that everything we see has a purpose and that Hashem shows us each and every detail because we must learn a lesson from it. So, what lesson can we learn from the Hmong people?

The Hmong hill tribes of Thailand are not assimilating.  They do incorporate certain useful tools from the modern world, such as trucks, phones, and microphones/speakers.  They even use washing machines! Yet, they do not change their fundamental culture.  They still keep to their traditions.  They dress differently from the rest of the people living in Thailand.  They still sew their own clothes; even though it would be simple just to mass-produce and sell them, their clothing is a way they demonstrate their skills and also their unique identities.  They still have their own language, spoken at home and in the village.

Rebbetzin Rachel dressed in traditional Hmong clothing, standing with a young Hmong villager. She is dressed in traditional Hmong clothing. All the Hmong women, young and old, still sew their own ceremonial outfits, holding onto their tradition.

We Jews also have our own culture and heritage.  Yes, we can take certain advantages from the modern world; there is nothing wrong with that.  Yet, we must cling to the vital parts of our traditions.  Unlike the Hmong people, we no longer need to sew our clothes; however, we must still make sure we are holding to our beliefs and dressing modestly, even if it makes us different.  We have certain foods that we must and must not eat; we should not assimilate with the world around us that eats anything and everything with no limits.  We have our own community… let’s not lose it. Like the Hmong people, let’s stick together!

So that is what I learned from the Hmong people when I attended their New Year’s celebration.  It was a beautiful experience and I am really glad I went.  I learned so much, both about them and about myself.

Happy Hmong New Year!

Parshas Bo: Teaching is the Best Way to Learn

This week, Rabbi Ben and I went to the Hill Tribe Museum in Chiang Rai, Thailand. Usually, we skip museums because after a while they all start to blend together. You forget what you saw where, if you remember any of it at all.  Museums are usually too much to take in all at once, especially when you’re seeing so many of them.  But we made an exception and visited the Hill Tribe Museum anyway.

When we visited this Mong family for Mong New Year, I had no idea what to give as a gift of thanks. At the Hill Tribe Museum I learned that string or beads (for making traditional costumes) would have been the best gift. Now I share this information with all the other tourists I meet.

The Hill Tribe Museum in Chiang Mai doesn’t have many exhibits, but I found it a great visit anyway.  In fact, I really enjoyed it because I feel like I learned a lot about the tribes and cultures of Thailand, which I might never have learned otherwise.  One of the interesting things I read was this idea: A lot of people come to Thailand to do “voluntouring” – volunteering as a way of touring the country.  But perhaps what the tribal people need is less Western people coming to teach them things and more Western people coming to learn things.

It was an interesting point. How arrogant we Westerners are to think we are doing these tribal people so much good! We come in with our English language, our jeans, and our foods and think we are helping them, when really we are just cogs in the great wheel of assimilation that quashes cultures. What we could do, instead, is to visit these tribes and learn from them – and then take that new wisdom, knowledge, and information back to our home countries and teach it to our compatriots.

Pesach (Passover) is just around the corner.  Approximately two months to go and we’re already preparing for it through a massive review of the exodus chapter in our history.  But in this week’s Torah portion, Hashem (G-d) tells us to do more than simply review the story of what happened to us in Egypt and our exodus from that terrible place. We are told to teach the story. The parsha says:

“And so that you may relate in the ears of your son and your son’s son that which I have played with (punished) Egypt, and My wonders that I placed among them. And then you will know that I am God.”

“And then you will know that I am God.”  Rabbi Boruch Leff explains that this means we have to obtain knowledge - not just belief – and that the way to do this is to teach others. Why?  Because, as the Talmud (Taanit 7a) says:

“Rabbi Chanina said: ‘I have learned much from my teachers, from my colleagues even more, but from my students I have learned the most.’”

And indeed, modern science backs this up.  As Rabbi Leff points out,

William Glasser, Ph.D., once conducted a study in which he concluded that people learn 10% of what they read, 20% of what they hear, 30% of what they see, 50% of what they see and hear, 70% of what is discussed with others, 80% of what they experience, but 95% of what they teach to others.

Now, two months before Pesach, we review the story because, when Pesach arrives, it is our obligation to teach it to others – especially our children.  And in teaching it to others, we learn it better ourselves.

So in running the Traveling Rabbi blog, we are not just hoping to share Torah and halacha with others, but also to increase our own learning.  And so, when we learn interesting things, as we have this week at the Hill Tribe Museum, during our stay with the Akha Hill Tribe in Northern Thailand, and during our celebration of the Hmong (or Mong) New Year, we will endeavor to share them with you.  In doing so, we will increase our own knowledge. Look out for those posts.

And of course, feel free to share anything you learn on the Traveling Rabbi blog with others because you will gain benefit also.  If there is anything you want to see addressed or any questions you need answered, send us a message or a comment. We love to hear from you! Let’s all continue sharing, learning, and growing!

Shabbat Shalom!

Read more on Parshas Bo: Taking Responsibility for Our Mistakes