Rabbi Lawrence Keleman on Tisha B’Av

Last night I had the privilege to be able to hear Rabbi Lawrence Keleman of Neve Yerushalayim (where I went to seminary) speak on the subject of Tisha B’Av.

He started out by questioning why the Second Temple was destroyed.  The First Temple was destroyed because the Jews were engaged in idolatry, adultery, and murder.  The Second Temple’s destruction was considered to be much worse.  We are told that the Jews in the time of the Second Temple kept the mitzvot. They were nice enough to each other to their faces. Yet, it was destroyed because of sinas chinam, baseless hatred. How can this be?

He began his explanation by saying we all too often live in a two dimensional world when we should live in a three dimensional world.  The two-dimensional world is one of materialism and superficiality while the third dimension is in spirituality.   The example he gave was one about greeting others.  Rabbi Yochana Ben Zakkai used to be known for greeting everyone – including non-Jews – first.  However, if someone does not greet you back when you greet them it is as if they are a thief.  Therefore, we are cautioned not to greet someone who will not greet us back because it will turn them into a thief – akin to placing a stumbling block before the blind.  So how could Rabbi Yochana Ben Zakkai greet everyone? A talmid chacham (Torah scholar) should greet everyone because the talmid chacham is like a living moral compass.  He lives in the spiritual realm also – he lives in all three dimensions.  He helps us to see that third dimension.

Most of the time, unfortunately, we don’t see the third dimension.  It affects us and we don’t even realize it.  Fear and anxiety are the result of not living in the third dimension.  The third dimension is one of connection, of relationship.  Closing ourselves off from relationship causes us to live in fear and anxiety.

There are three types of relationships:

1) Relationship with G-d.  This means doing the mitzvot.  Hashem gives us 613 mitzvot to do. It is as if He has written us a love letter. The least we can do is to say, “Wow! These simple things we can do to make our Beloved happy – we must do them!”  Even missing little things – especially missing the little things – causes us to feel anxiety.  Failure to wash hands after having a haircut, for example, causes anxiety for 3 days.  Failure to wash hands after cutting your nails causes anxiety for 1 day. And so on and so forth.  In our relationships, it’s the little things that count for the most.

2) Relationships with other people.  This means focusing on relationships and connection.  Rabbi Keleman gave the example of a couple who had a little fight and the husband came to him after not speaking with his wife for three weeks.  He called the wife and told her, “Your husband wants so much to apologize, but he is afraid that if he does so you will use it to jump on him.” She agreed not to jump on him but admitted she had been afraid to apologize because she thought her husband would criticize her. So Rabbi Keleman went back to the husband and said, “Your wife wants so much to apologize but she is afraid you will criticize her.” He agreed not to be critical.  The couple was reconciled.  The key to relationships is in that connection.

3) Relationship with self.  We all have a body and a soul.  We need to take time for ourselves to work on the relationship between our body and our soul.  Just because you study Torah all the time does not mean you are excused from spending time alone and concentrating on yourself.  If you don’t, you will have anxiety and you will not know where it is coming from.

When we take this knowledge and apply it to the story of Kamtza and bar Kamtza, we gain a new insight into the destruction of the Temple.  You see, a man was having a party and he wanted to invite his best friend Kamtza.  Instead, his servant mistakenly invited his mortal enemy, bar Kamtza.  Seen through the lens of relationships, we can answer the question of why bar Kamtza would even accept such an invitation in the first place.  Imagine bar Kamtza encounters the servant of his worst enemy.  The servant tells him, “My master wants to invite you to a party.” Bar Kamtza says, “Who? Me? But I’m his worst enemy! There must be a mistake.” “Oh no, sir, my master never makes a mistake! He swears you’re his very best friend and you must come to his party.” Bar Kamtza gets to thinking, “Wow, he must want to reconcile! After all these years!”  And all the fear that comes from disconnecting melts away.

So bar Kamtza shows up at the party.  The host comes in to see his worst enemy sitting in his living room.  ”Get out!” he tells him. “But you invited me! At least let me stay – I’ll even pay for my food and drink.” bar Kamtza says.  ”No way! Get out!” shouts the host. “Please! I’ll even pay for half the party! Only don’t embarrass me in front of all these people…!” “No… GET OUT!” says the host. “I’ll pay for the whole party!” offers bar Kamtza, in a desperate last-ditch attempt…. After which the host tosses him out onto the street.  And the whole time none of the rabbis in the room say anything.  Hundreds of rabbis, all the top Torah scholars in the realm, are there and not one of them says anything to stop it.  The moral compass is broken. “I guess,” bar Kamtza concludes, “That there is no third dimension after all.”  And this leads to the destruction of the Temple.  That is sinas chinam. That is baseless hatred.

If we want the Third Temple, we have to strive for connection. We have to focus on connecting with Hashem and with others and with ourselves.  We have to tap into that third dimension.

Dear Babies,

Have you often felt left out of the Tisha B’Av rituals? Do you feel ignored because your parents refuse to deprive you of food and drink on this holiday of mourning? Do you want to help bring a feeling of mourning into your family’s lives?

NOW YOU CAN!

Just follow these easy steps to help your parents get into that Tisha B’Av mourning spirit!

1) Make a HUGE poopy diaper.  Be sure to poop enough that it squishes at least halfway up your back and down into the toes of your sleeper.

2) When being changed from said huge poopy diaper, squirm as much as possible and flail your arms and legs about. With luck, this will further extend your poopy coating even as far as your head! Be sure to get some on anything near you, especially expensive furniture and the person (or people) attempting to change you.

3) When you are completely clean again, but before a new diaper has been put on, poop some more.  Try your best to get some on the clothing and skin of whoever is changing you – remember, they can’t take a shower or do laundry!

4) Once you are clean and dressed, poop again in your new diaper. Bonus points if you can produce enough to repeat steps 1-3!

5) While you are being changed and nobody is watching your upper half, spit up everywhere. Be sure to coat all of your new clothing, face, and chest.

6) After being changed into clean clothes, pee everywhere. If you are a boy, make sure to aim for as many targets as possible.  Bonus points for hitting yourself (clean clothes and head), any other people in the vicinity, expensive furniture, carpeting, bedsheets, and pillows. This is a great time to practice your range!

7) After being changed again, wait a little while and when nobody is expecting it, spit up some more. Bonus points if you manage to spit up all over an unsuspecting adult.

8 ) Refuse to sleep when you are supposed to.  Wail loudly or whine in the highest pitch possible within human hearing range the entire time.

9) If your mother is exclusively breastfeeding, be sure to eat as much as possible – even more than normal.  This will assist you with steps 1-7!

10) Repeat as many of the above steps as many times as possible throughout the day.   This will help create an atmosphere of true mourning in your home!

PS – For those of you who love when we include photos, aren’t you glad we DIDN’T this time???!

The Mystical Significance of Lag B’Omer

Tonight is Lag B’Omer, at least here in Australia.  I realize that for many of our readers, Lag B’Omer won’t start until tomorrow night, but anyway, it’s a good enough time to start thinking about it.

Lag B’Omer is one of those holidays I’ve enjoyed ever since I discovered it, without even knowing why or understanding the real meaning behind it.  And even still, it seems that no matter how much I learn about Lag B’Omer, how many hours I spend researching it or learning or reading up on it, all the things I learn slip right out of my mind as soon as I see that first bonfire of the evening, hear the first child’s excited laugh, smell that first marshmallow roasting.

The truth is, I think in some ways that this is how all Jewish holidays should be.  They should be so overwhelmingly full of a sense of joy that we have no space left in us for deep contemplation.  Not that we shouldn’t study or learn – of course we should! – but that, at their core, we have to recognize that our holidays are always just a bit beyond our level of true comprehension.

And it’s not just holidays that are like this, but really anything at all that has to do with Judaism.  There are so many levels of understanding, so many things that we have to learn (70 explanations for every part of the Torah!), and yet, even learning every single one of them will never bring us to the level of comprehension of their power and meaning that G-d experiences and has.  The sages say that if we understood even at the tiniest level what power saying Tehillim (Psalms) has, we would do nothing but sit all day and recite them.  On our limited human level of understanding, we are restricted.  We have gravity.  We can reach only so high.  We cannot truly touch the divine.

But our neshamas (our souls) – ah! They are not so restricted. Within each of us is a bit of G-d that has the power to understand infinity.  Our souls are forever reaching for that closeness with G-d, that unity. That is why we are drawn to other people – they are also missing pieces of the G-dly puzzle – and why we are drawn to divinity.  The G-dly soul within us yearns to be reunited.

I think this is why there are certain times when we can just lose ourselves in a holiday.  Especially on a mystical holiday like Lag B’Omer, I feel as if my soul is reaching for spirituality and the divine.  ”Down, intellect!” it commands, even though it is usually my intellect through which I most connect. “Down, intellect!” shouts my soul, “This is one thing that is far, far beyond your comprehension!”  And so, I forget everything I’ve studied, everything I’ve learned… And, like the flames of the bonfires we will light tonight, my soul leaps and reaches up, and I surrender to the joy of the moment, the joy of the mysticism, the joy of incomprehension, the joy of unity, the joy of being close, in some small way, to Hashem.

If anyone is looking for a Lag b’omer party on the North Shor ein Sydney Australia, oyu may want to visit Chabad of North Shore. Please G-d I’ll be doing a fire juggling and twirling show. Hope to see you there.

Purim Has got to be one of my favourite Jewish Holidays. What’s there not to like about Purim? We get dressed up, eat a festive meal, give and receive gifts, and are even commanded to get drunk. Now how many religions out there actually forbid alcohol yet we Jews say it’s a holly thing to get totally inebriated to a point of not knowing who to bless and who to curse in the story of Purim.

I have spent many Purims with Jewish communities around the world to name a few Countries that come to mind; Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Thailand, Philippines, Nepal, and Brazil. There was something special and unique in each place I was. Brazil though was probably one of my favourites. On the eve of Purim I was invited to the Governors house in Sao Paulo for a Purim party which a friend of mine had organized. I did feel slightly underdressed in my backpackers clothing siting at a table conversing with the German Ambassador to Brazil who happened to be Jewish. We had some great conversations. I ate way to much food as I tried to gain wait after having been three weeks climbing Aconcagua; the highest mountain in South America, and losing to many Kilos.

Purim day, it was party after party like only the Brazilian people know. Wait Sorry…After the Purim party at the Governors home we went to a massive young adult party which went for most of the night. The food…the alcohol…the wonderful people…
Anyway I can go on for ages talking about the other three parties I went to Purim day and that was after a bris (circumcision) that took place in the Synagogue on Purim morning.

I read the Megila at a Chabad house, and to thank me the Shaliach gave me a Chitas. (a chitas is a book that comprises a number of Jewish holly books…Google it for more information )

So yes Purim around the world. I read the Megilah at the Chabad house in Manila, danced like crazy with hundreds of Israeli backpackers in Kathmandu and spoke to the Jewish community in Christchurch at their Purim celebration.
Purim is an awesome time to pray for anything because the gates of heaven are wide open. People think Yom Kippur is a holly day. True it is, though ‘Yom Kipurim’ as it is called means a day like Purim. Thus Purim in many ways is on a higher level.

So celebrate and remember the 4 main mitzvoth of the day:
1. Hear the Meggila
2. Eat a festive meal
3. Give some Charity
4. Give gifts of food to friends

And remember to drink something and celebrate with joy.
Purim Sameach.

Fruit at a market in Columbia (South America)

Many who know me would say that Tu B’shevat is my favorite holiday. Why? Because I like fruit, and Tu B’shevat celebrates the new year for the trees.

The main custom and way to observe Tu B’shevat is to eat lots of fruit. Many have different customs as to how much variety. It is good to have at least one new fruit that you’ve not had yet in the past year. This will enable you to make the ‘Shehechianu’ blessing. The next step is to have the five fruit from the seven species that the land of Israel is blessed with: grapes, pomegranate, olives, figs, and dates.

After this the sky is the limit. Some people try to have ten types of fruit; others try to have eighteen, twenty six…and so on.

A good thing to do is to sit down with the family and friends for a Tu B’shevat feast where everyone makes a blessing over the fruit and gives thanks to G-d for bringing forth from the ground the fruit of the trees.

As I travel fruit makes up almost 80% of my diet. Fruit is available everywhere and it’s kosher. I especially like to discover new fruits around the world.

Happy Tu B’shevat and enjoy your fruit!