Are Religious People Better Mannered? Part 2/3

Are Religious People Better Mannered? Part 2/3

Judaism is not an all-or-nothing religion.  For some reason people seem to forget that.  They think, “well, I mix meat and milk so why should I not eat pork, too?”  They think, “I drive on Shabbat, so why shouldn’t I watch TV, too?”

I have no idea why so many people think this way, but I have encountered this attitude all over the world in my travels. It seems to be nearly universal.

The fact is that each moment in our lives is an opportunity to do another mitzvah.  Just because we did an aveira (sin) 5 minutes ago does not preclude our doing a mitzvah now!  Just because we ate pork yesterday does not mean it is no longer a mitzvah to decide not to eat shrimp today.

I know a lot of Israelis and secular people seem to have trouble with this concept as it regards “observant” Jews.  If a family keeps kosher at home but eats out in restaurants, it is often seen as being “hypocritical.”  How is this hypocritical?  It is not hypocritical at all!  The family is simply trying to do the mitzvot to their best of their ability.  If the option is to keep kosher sometimes, it is certainly better than keeping kosher never.  There is no shame in that.

The same holds true of every mitzvah out there.  There are campaigns where a group of friends will sign up to commit to not speaking lashon hara for 24 hours a day.  Each person in the group takes a few hours of the day and commits to not saying any gossip about anyone at all during their time slot.  This is highly admirable!  Just because they may slip up and speak some lashon hara during another time of the day does not invalidate the amazing work they are doing to not speak badly of others during their chosen hours.

We, as Jews, observant or not, are not claiming to be “perfect” just because we are the “chosen people” or because it is our job to be a “light unto the world.”  We are only claiming to do our best to do G-d’s will as it was given to us in the form of the Torah.  We are all on different levels and Judaism is not black-and-white.  We are free to take it slowly and do things one tiny mitzvah at a time.

So if you see someone who is dressed in a religious fashion but doesn’t necessarily act that way, remember: They are doing one mitzvah but not another, just like each and every one of us.

Judaism is like a ladder with many rungs… we are all doing our best to climb up it but we are all at different levels.

Or an even better allegory: our Judaism is like a house we are building.  Each day, we choose which bricks to put in our house and where to put them.  Or we choose which bricks to remove.

At the end of the day, every person has a different looking house built with stones of different shapes, sizes, and colors.  But that does not mean that just because one person has put up a nice facade on the outside of their house, that their living room will look great.  And it does not mean that just because another person’s house looks like a pile of rubble that their bedroom or kitchen will not be beautiful.  We all have different parts of our “house” that need to be fixed up.

Come back to check out Part 3 tomorrow!

Read Part 1 of “Are Religious People Better Mannered?”