Bilam merited to have a donkey talk to him, which is more than I ever merited. It makes me wonder if he's really such a bad guy after all...
Have you ever felt like you just really got the raw end of the deal? Like someone totally misjudged you? That if they’d only known your situation they’d have understood, forgiven, or been more kind? I think we all feel like that sometimes. I know I certainly have! And sometimes it’s not even our situation – it’s our culture, our background, the way we were raised, that seems to put us at a disadvantage and cause someone else to judge us poorly. Why? Because we have different customs? Is that fair? Is it right?
You know, it happens all the time in our lives, and even more often in travel. I remember when I lived in Spain. I was accustomed to running around the house barefoot – I’d never wear my shoes inside to track in dirt! – and I don’t like socks much (unless they’re those adorable toe socks!). So when I moved in with a family in Galicia, I followed the same protocol as always: I ran around the house barefoot. Much to my consternation, this upset my host mother to no end. She was convinced that this was some horrible thing I was doing to myself and anytime I so much as sniffled, she blamed it on me being barefoot.
Once, my friend Lauren, who was studying abroad in England, came to visit. When I came home from class for lunch, she sauntered into the kitchen in her bare feet. “Lauren!” I whispered urgently, “Go put on socks RIGHT NOW!!” She hurried to comply, but it was too late. My host mother had seen her and was in hysterics. “What’s wrong with her?!” She cried in Spanish in absolute anguish, “Doesn’t she know that walking barefoot harms the ovaries?!” Although I collapsed on the floor laughing, it never did change my host mother’s mind about the dubious character of my friend.
So when I read this week’s parsha, I felt pretty bad for Bilam. I feel like the poor guy really got the raw end of the deal. Every commentary I read about him paints him in a negative light: He’s a rasha, he’s evil, he’s cruel. But I think the sages and great commentators have got it all wrong. Bilam’s not that bad! Let’s look at it reasonably: Bilam’s background truthfully isn’t that great. After all, he was an advisor to Pharaoh who told him not to listen to Moshe. But in this week’s parsha it seems to me that he’s done some teshuva. Over and over again, he says, “I can only say what G-d tells me to say.” He seems to have an awful lot of faith in a G-d he didn’t used to believe in! And if you look at what he says, he really does only say what G-d tells him to. So we can’t fault him for any of his parables. (And why would we? He blesses the Jewish people three times!)
Bilam tells Balak to gather 7 bulls and 7 rams to sacrifice on 7 altars to win G-d's favor before cursing the Jewish people according to Balak's wishes. However, when G-d puts words of blessing into Bilam's mouth and Balak is angered, Bilam reminds him that even for all of the king's gold and silver, he still will only do as G-d says, and say what G-d tells him to say. How many of us can honestly say we would stand up to a king and say that?
Not only that, but to me it looks like he must have some major merit on high! He’s talking directly to G-d, has a talking donkey, and sees angels. Can any of us claim to have any of those merits? (If you answered yes to this question, please see a qualified psychiatrist!) Furthermore, I heard one commentary criticize him for being greedy when he mentions Balak’s storerooms of gold and silver. But is he really? What one of us would turn that down, could afford to turn that down? Sure, he seems eager to rush after it – but wait a minute. He maintains throughout that even if he would be given all of that wealth, he still would only do what G-d says. G-d told him he’s allowed to go, so he went. He never, not once, went against anything G-d directly told him. So when it comes to Bilam, I think he’s got a lot of good things going for him.
As we go on our travels, we constantly encounter situations where it seems someone is doing something bad, but really it’s good. Or it’s neutral – just part of a cultural snafu. Whether we’re wearing shoes in the house (or not), belching after our meals (or not), or eating with our hands (or not), we have to judge others favorably. Especially if we want Hashem to judge us favorably, too!
SHABBAT SHALOM!
