Parshas Va’eschanan: Shabbat Nachamu – Finding Comfort in Unlikely Places
I used to take comfort in something very silly - the ownership of a beautiful dining room table. But it didn't only make me happy because it was lovely to look it - it was a place around which all my friends would gather and share good times (and cookies!).
We all have times when we feel down. Something has disappointed us, things aren’t flowing as easily as they should, or we seem to be beset by an unending stream of unfortunate events.
I remember one time when I had that kind of feeling, back when I was living in Florida. I had taken and passed the Florida Bar Exam, but the Board was dragging its feet in admitting me to practice law there. In consequence, I couldn’t find a decent job, no matter how hard I tried. Throughout my educational career I had been built up to believe that if I worked hard, studied hard, and got good grades, that in the end it would be rewarded with a high-paying job granted to me easily. How wrong I was. I was entering the workforce at the beginning of the worst economic downturn in the US since the Great Depression.
A friend, seeing how down in the dumps I was, told me that I should find something – anything – that makes me happy, and to fixate on it. At the time, I had a gorgeous dining room table of glass and stone that was a gift from some friends of mine. I loved that table and so I did as my friend suggested and fixated on it. If I was ever feeling bad, I would just look at that beautiful table and it would make me smile. And although my friend thought I was kind of crazy for letting a table make me happy, it didn’t matter – the advice worked!
This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Nachamu – the Shabbat of Comfort. It is the Shabbat after Tisha B’Av and it marks the return to normalcy after the three weeks of mourning. But it is fair to ask – how can we possibly be comforted from things as terrible as those that have happened to the Jewish people on Tisha B’Av?
For one thing, we know that G-d still loves us. Although tragedies have happened in our history, we still have the love of Hashem. It’s kind of like being a kid and having something really bad happen – you can always turn to your parents and know that no matter what may have happened or how mad they might be, they do still love you… and when you’re crying, they’ll give you the hug you need.
Akiva's silly smiles made it hard to get into the mourning mood on Tisha B'Av!
But come on, really, personally, I need something more tailor-made than that. And that is why, when something bad happens or I’m down in the dumps and need some comfort, I’m not afraid to go looking for it – even in unlikely places. The truth is, we all have those unlikely little things that can bring a smile to our lips no matter how sad we may be. It could be a good friend showing up at the door with a pint of ice cream and a movie, it could be the silly antics of a puppy, or, yes, it could even be a dining room table. Who cares what anybody else thinks? If it’s something in your life that can comfort you when you’re down and it’s not doing any harm, then take comfort in it!
And me? Well, I no longer have that dining room table (I couldn’t move it, let alone fit it in my backpack) so these days I’m finding my comfort in the smiles of my gorgeous son Akiva.
Shabbat shalom!
Read more on Parshas Va’eschanan: Building Our Own Cities of Refuge
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