‘Zen and the art of Planking,’ Also titled ‘How to go Planking in Mid Air’

Zen and the art of planking is a story about a young orphaned boy who decides to win the annual planking championship and become the greatest planker in the world. His journey takes him to a man with great magic who teaches him that there is more to life than just planking.

Note from the author: My blog is not about planking, however many plankers have been enjoying my posts on planking and thus I decided to post this story. I hope you enjoy it and share it.

Story

Once upon a timed there was an eight-year-old boy who loved planking. His name was Donny. He had blond hair, blue eyes, freckles and a sweet smile. Donny was a nice boy but most of the other children would make fun of him because he was so skinny and not very strong. This meant that he was never any good at difficult planking. Sure, he could go planking on the ground, on the road, and even on chairs. But Donny was always too scared and weak and to go planking on anything high above the ground.

Donny lived with his evil stepmother who was always mean to him. She would make him stay home and clean the house while all the other boys and girls were out planking. Often while scrubbing the walls, Donny would stop to look in the mirror. “If only I were stronger,” he’d say, “then I’d be able to do amazing planking things like everyone else.”

Every night before going to sleep, Donny would read to himself from his much loved book, ‘The Legends of Planking.’ His favorite part was ‘The History of Planking and its Great Dreaming.’

                “During the Dream Time when the great island was created there were two Spirits  Beings who both wanted to marry the same beautiful Ocean Spirit. Altjira, the earth spirit, cast a bolt of lightning which turned the two Spirits into men, and said, “He who will perform the greatest planking will have the Ocean Spirit for a wife.” The problem was that Altjira never explained what is planking, how planking should be done, and who and who would decide on the winner.

                “The people who lived on the beautiful golden island passed down the legend since the first dreaming. Some tribes believed that the planking was meant to be done facing up because Altjira lived in the sky, but overall most agreed that planking must be done facing the ground. Once every year, there was a great planking competition when the islanders  would select their new planking champion.”

“Please G-d,” Donny prayed every night before bed, “make me strongest and bravest boy in the village so that when I am eighteen and old enough to enter the planking competition, I will be able to perform the most incredible planking ever.”

…………………………….

The Great Island where Donny lived was surrounded by the beautiful ocean spirit. It was a Magical place with lots of kangaroos, wombats, platypuses, and possums. There was bush land and desert depending on which direction you’d walk. And oh, the gum trees! Donny loved the gum trees.

It was the day of the great planking Championship. Everyone was in the town center enjoying the festivities – that is, everyone besides Donny. His evil stepmother forced him to stay home and clean the house.

Donny sat on the floor, crying. Tears flowed down his face. He wished he could be 6 years old again and with his real mother who always took him to see the planking championship.

He fell asleep and in his dream he saw his mother. She whispered to him, “Head into the bush and follow the sound of the didgeridoo, where you will learn to go planking in mid-air…head into the bush and follow the sound of the didgeridoo…”

Donny woke with a start. He grabbed a few things and ran from the house. The sound of the didgeridoo spirit guided him far over the river to a large gum tree. There he found an old man with gray hair who had painted his dark body with white and red stripes.

“My name is Nanjare,” said the man. “The whispers have guided you to me, and now I must train you in the ways of my people’s ancestors.”

“Can you teach me how to perform planking suspended in mid air?” Donny asked

Nanjare smiled. “The power of planking is already in you, you must learn to become one with this force.”

Days turned to months, and months into years. Donny learned the ancient wisdom, to meditate and to talk in whispers. He learned to play the didgeridoo, to collect wild plants, and use magic to heal.

Sometime after Donny’s eighteenth birthday Nanjare led him to the sacred pool under the red dreaming rock. “Look at your reflection,” said Nanjare, “You have become a man and it is now time for you to return to your people.”

Donny realized that in his last ten years with Nanjare they had never once planked.  They were always so busy that there was never any time.

“But what will I do at the planking championship,” asked Donny. “I cannot even perform a simple planking!”

“Here,” replied Nanjare, giving him to drink from a small bottle. Donny felt a magical sensation creep through his body and he slowly began to rise above the ground. When he was fifty feet above the ground he stretched out and performed a perfect mid-air planking. He held the plank for a few moments and then slowly floated down to the ground.

……………………………

It was the night of the first full moon. No one recognized Donny as he stood amongst the crowed waiting his turn. People had long ago forgotten about the orphan boy. They figured that he got eaten in the river by a crocodile, or maybe died from a snake bite out in the bush.

Donny’s heart raced as his turn to perform a planking arrived. He checked his pocket for the small bottle of magic potion Nanjare had given him. It was still there. His heart began to race as he hurried towards the center were there were all kinds of things set up that people could plank on. There was even a spear sticking out of the ground. Everyone was curious to see what the stranger was going to do.

As Donny approached the center, a young boy ran in front of him. Donny tripped and landed face down in the mud in perfect planking position. Everyone began to laugh and squeal with delight. Here was someone performing the easiest planking of all!  Donny felt the small bottle of magic potion in his pocket break and the liquid spill out. The villagers continued to laugh. Donny, unrelenting, remained with his face in the mud holding the planking position. He was not sure what to do. He could not bring himself up to face the crowed.

The years of training with Nanjare had showed him how not to feel any anger towards the people who laughed or to the boy who tripped him. He felt no anger over the past. And for that moment he accepted everything perfectly for the way it was.

Time passed and he continue to hold the planking position. His spirit became one with the earth dreaming, and he felt an incredible sense of peace. As he rested there, he heard the song of the rainbow spirit as it echoed through the deep resonance of the didgeridoo.

And it was at this moment out of time that he heard the whispers of the dreaming and became enlightened.

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